Maria R NDE

Experience Description

On July 19, 2010, I had a scheduled routine visit with my obstetrician. I was in my fifth month of pregnancy, it was discovered that my baby had died in utero, and that my body was unable to deliver it naturally. A cesarean section or provoked labor was necessary.

I was admitted to the hospital and my doctor decided that it was best to avoid a cesarean section so that I would be able to get pregnant again sooner.

I was given medication (ovules) in order to produce the contractions necessary for delivery. Past midnight on July 23, I delivered my baby but the placenta did not detach. This added to the negligence of the doctor responsible for me, who left me alone and without medical attention for approximately four hours, caused me to have a massive loss of blood, over two liters.

During this time, I lost consciousness several times. Losing consciousness is not new to me. I normally have low blood pressure that has frequently caused me to lose consciousness throughout my life (vagal reflex). For this reason, I am able to differentiate between a loss of consciousness and the experience I am addressing here.

For those that have never experienced a loss of consciousness. It starts with a feeling of dizziness that gradually increases until vision is blurred and I am left in total darkness until I lose all perception. During this time, I perceive absolutely no stimulus or visions, you only have the feeling of having fallen into darkness; consciousness can then be regained gradually or suddenly.

Going back to July 23, 2010. After having experienced the horrific death of my son and the agony of his delivery, while I was bleeding for hours, I experienced several episodes of loss of consciousness and following these the near death experience that I am about to relate.

Everything started with a fainting spell, like many that I had experienced that morning. I felt dizzy and lost consciousness like in any other normal fainting episode. The difference was that on this occasion I woke up in a long and dark tunnel that suctioned me slowly towards a source of light that faintly lit the place where I was, since the light was still far. I felt attracted to the light but I was not able to see it because I was facing in the other direction. At that moment in time, I had a feeling of total indifference, toward my life and toward my imminent death. I did not have the wonderful feelings that many speak of, but considering my desperate and painful state, indifference was wonderful. I was also not afraid, only the desire to stop suffering. I came from a place of physical and spiritual suffering, being in limbo seemed like a treat. While I let myself go to the magnetism that brought me closer to the light, I started to hear the faint screams of my husband who was desperately calling my name. I heard him as if his screams came from the opposite direction to the one I was heading. The entrance to the tunnel was so far away and dark that I could not see it. When I hear my husband, I felt all of his pain and I understood that if I let myself go he would stay totally alone, without his only son and his wife. I wanted to return for him.

When I made that decision, the tunnel once again darkened and I slowly started to perceive all that surrounded me. First my husband's voice that was progressively louder until it reached real time volume. I still could not communicate with him to tell him that I was back. I then progressively recovered by vision and time/space perception, and lastly I regained speech. When I was approaching the light, I had the feeling of traveling slowly. On the way back to consciousness, I did not have that feeling.

During this entire episode I did not receive medical attention and it was my husband (a lawyer without the medical skills necessary to resolve this type of situation) who took care of me. For this reason, there is no doctor that can confirm that I truly experienced clinical death.

Those who were present told me that I was without breathing for over ten minutes; with my eyes fixated and that, I underwent a total relaxation of all sphincters.

Soon after, I underwent surgery to remove the placenta. The bleeding stopped and I started on a difficult road to physical and spiritual recovery.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 23 de julio de 2010

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Other 'La muerte clínica no fue constatada por medicos, pero de acuerdo con las personas que me acompañaban durante ese momento, estuve más de 10 minutos sin respirar' Massive loss of blood.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the time I awoke in the tunnel until I recovered my speech, I was aware throughout (with comprehension) of what was happening.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was in a long tunnel illuminated by a light at the far end so I do not have a point of reference to compare.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I did not see it because my back was towards it. The light was projected from the direction I was headed.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Indifference towards life and death, but I believe that the trauma I was going through blurred my feelings.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I thought a lot about a woman that lost her son under similar circumstances. I was afraid that something would happen to her. The next day her husband died of a heart attack.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes That my death did not solve anything but made things worse. That despite the pain I needed to stay to offer support to those that shared my pain.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes The pain has made me more compassionate towards the pain of others.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I am confused by the feelings of indifference that I had towards life and death. I would have preferred to have felt the happiness that others describe.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I immediately told my husband but he was so overtaken emotionally that he did not understand. I told him and my sisters some time later and everyone felt bad because of what had happened to me and for thinking that I had died.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard tales but it was not a topic that interested me. I don't believe that they have in any way influence me as they are not similar to my experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real At first I did not understand that I had had a Near Death Experience. Weeks later, when I told a professional, she explained to me what had happened. The experience was real. I have not doubts.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Scientists can find the reasons that they want but my experiences were as I have related. I am convinced that it was a paranormal experience. If scientists were able to demonstrate that it was a hallucination (or something else) then the hallucination (or that other thing) did happen. Therefore, my experience was real, regardless of how one interprets it, according to one's beliefs.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would like to add that I have never in my life used any type of drugs or medication that could have had an effect on my state of consciousness. Finally, the experience was very traumatic for me and disbelief from others affects me negatively.