Maria S NDE

Experience Description:

The car that was transporting us broke down in front of a small cemetery. My father was seated in front next to the driver; my mother and my grandmother were in back. My grandmother had a baby in her arms I didn't recognize. I felt the pain and grief of everyone. They were suffering because of me. They were broken-hearted and I didn't understand why. I was seated next to my father and the driver of the car and I told him I felt fine, that he didn't need to worry, but he didn't appear to see me or hear me.

Just by thinking about it, I put myself right in front of my mother and grandmother, and I also shouted at them not to cry over me, that I was just fine. My grandmother said something I found really amusing. ('How funny. The car dies right in front of a cemetery!') I laughed a lot. My dear grandmother's sense of humor really amused me. I knew and recognized each one of them, I felt their feelings and read their thoughts, but it was impossible for me to communicate with them. When I understood that they didn't see me nor hear me, I decided to 'return home.' There was only one thing out of place; that baby my grandmother was carrying in her arms wrapped in a black shawl she had woven herself. I didn't know who it was. It said absolutely nothing to me and its presence there seemed absurd to me.

I left the car by the roof, floating - which seemed normal to me - and I paused looking at the countryside. It was dusk, the fields were in bloom, the rosemary and thyme and even the rocks were surrounded by an aura of pastel colored light. It had rained a few days before and the earth was wet and renewed. Everything emanated beauty and light and I was enthralled contemplating the earth. All of a sudden the sun, which was a golden color, began growing bigger and bigger and I 'felt' that I could return home that way, to my place of origin, to the place I had come from. At the moment, I tried to put myself into that enormous ball of light I heard and perceived a voice that said, 'NO!' I couldn't continue forward. That voice kept me back. It had power and authority over what happened. It said to me sweetly, 'You have to return.' I told it - rather I yelled at it - that nobody saw me nor heard me, nobody was aware of my presence nor of my existence and, above all else, I didn't know where I had to return to nor how to do it.

It was then, that this Presence indicated to me that the body of the baby was the place I had to return to. That inert body, unfeeling, that small and asphyxiated place - that baby was me!

At that moment, I felt enormous pain and an oppression that extended to my whole BEING. I said to the Voice that returning would require forgetting, that I would have a long journey before remembering who I was and that it was possible I would never find out. It's the most difficult thing I have had to do, EVER.

The Voice, sweet but powerful, told me to return, that I could not return 'home' yet and it made me a promise that it would always be by my side.

Now I don't remember anything more. My parents have told what happened afterward to me many times. They were able to fix the car, we arrived at the village and the doctor certified my death. But even so, he consented to give me a serum because my father, overcome with grief, threatened to kill him if he didn't. A few hours after dying, they say I let out a moan.

I should explain that during my experience I perceived myself as an adult, cognizant, thinking, sentient and with a sense of humor, just like I am now.

I have continued to have experiences 'from the other side' the rest of my life and it took me many years to understand that it wasn't something that happened to everyone. I have learned to live with it, although it has been a lonely and misunderstood path.

Today I can say that I have remembered, that I remember who I am, and I'm glad they kept me from returning when I wasn't supposed to. Oh! And the Voice fulfilled its promise.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1958

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Other No puedo asegurarlo. Cuando él médico me vió, dijo que estaba muerta. Profound dehydration, possible coma, and multiple systemic breakdowns.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I could feel the feelings of the others, and hear their thoughts. I knew everything about everything including myself. I had full consciousness of what is and what isn't. I felt the Beauty of all things, the beauty of existence. I knew it was alive and eternal. It's difficult, if not impossible, to find the precise words that can express everything I experienced.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the whole experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening all at once There was no passage of time, space simply is and was.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more so

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was surrounded by light, everything was alive. I could see what was opaque and what was transparent, what was visible to the human eye and what was invisible, and I knew what it was that I was looking at (my physical body was that of a five month old baby).

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can't say that I heard with my physical ears, but rather I perceived the thoughts or ideas with my whole being. It's hard to explain.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? Neither

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I didn't see anyone, but there was clearly someone there. It was a presence that I cannot deny.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The Sun was the pathway 'home.'

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Neither Todo aquello que me rodeaba era bello, y lo que me rodeaba era la tierra en la que habito.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fullness or Plenitude, Peace, Beauty, Expansion of my Self, Pain at having to return.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? United, one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither I have lived my life trying not to forget.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Through dreams I am told of important events to come into my life. Somehow, I feel I am being prepared to deal with them, although I don't know how or why. Yes, I know what is going to happen. It never fails.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Era un bebé, no tenia condicionamientos de ningún tipo

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I had no religious knowledge. As I grew up, I was educated in the Catholic religion. There, I tried to find the Presence I heard. At age twenty, I left all religious beliefs. Within me I have always known that religions, all of them, only confuse and manipulate.

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I had no religious knowledge. As I grew up, I was educated in the Catholic religion. There, I tried to find the Presence I heard. At age twenty, I left all religious beliefs. Within me I have always known that religions, all of them, only confuse and manipulate.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Unidentifiable voice

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Neither

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes There was a purpose I didn't understand, my only obsession was not to forget who I am.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I have always lived with this knowledge. I believe my entire life was changed since then.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes For many years, I couldn't explain it because I hadn't learned how to talk. I thought it was something normal. That experience has accompanied me my whole life, and I remember it as though it happened five minutes ago.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I was five months old when it happened. I have grown with certain gifts that have always been with me. I can't determine if I had them before or not since I was a baby.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When I found out I had to return to my body it was terrible.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I was twenty. For many years after that, I was considered crazy. Over time, there have been people who have been profoundly impressed. Through my work (I'm a nurse) I have been with many dying people, and those I have been able to tell my story about the other side to have been filled with hope, and the fear of death has disappeared from them.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I'm forty-eight years old. The experience occurred when I was five months old. I remember it as if it just happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I've already answered this question.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain I have continued to leave and re-enter my body, involuntarily, but they have been experiences of all kinds. Very formative.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? LIFE is very much more transcendent than what we imagine. LIFE IS. Death is only a small step.