Marie J NDE

Experience Description

I was bathing in the ocean when suddenly I got trapped in a roller.

The year before I had almost drowned because I panicked. So this time I said to myself, ‘Not today, so I will just wait and, above all, not panic.’ I didn’t have to wait very long before I found myself in another universe.

First, I was in a place where there is nothing but blackness. Then, I felt and saw my life passing by (I think so, it was so fast I cannot be certain, but I had this feeling that it was my life. Past or future, I cannot tell.)

Next, this feeling of happiness where I was no longer ‘a nothing inside everything, but an everything inside nothing’. As there was no more time, so there was no more space. I did no longer undergo feelings, but I was feeling itself.

I was engulfed in the most perfect happiness until I regained consciousness on the sand. I looked around myself and had the feeling that I had come back from another world. My outlook on life had thus completely changed. I went back to where my parents were, as if nothing had happened. For five years, I didn’t talk about this to anyone, but every day I did recall this feeling that each time made me cry with happiness, and I thank heaven for this experience. My goal since that day was to regain this feeling in order to share it with others.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1980

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Being stuck in a wave, I laid down waiting until I could get out of it. I was about to drown.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Upon hearing bad news, my spirit detached from my body. I was lying down, unable to speak or move. My arms were outstretched towards the sky and my hands were closed on themselves. Again, I was inside this most perfect happiness. I had the feeling that I was near the ceiling.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was aware of everything that happened to me. I knew that it wasn’t a dream.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no more time and, therefore, no more space. There was all and nothing at the same time.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Every sound and every movement was amplified. I tried to go back, but some force drove me away. I had the impression that there were incoming waves all around my spirit, making it difficult for me to return to my body. After making a big effort of concentration, I was able to get over this, and my spirit went down into my body again.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It looked more like a triangle, and I was directing myself towards the top of it.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes After I had been in the black triangle, when I reached the top everything was illuminated. But it wasn’t something that I saw with my eyes, but more of a feeling, as if my spirit itself became illuminated.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm After having taken a lot of drugs like acid or ecstasy, I found myself in another dimension very similar to my own experience.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was in perfect happiness and completely aware of everything happening around me. Seeing my husband crying, I wanted to come down again but then some difficulties appeared. Every time there was a movement or a sound, I was projected further and further away. It was as if there were waves around me and as if every little sound was pushing me away.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I always pose myself the question. What should I do with this new vision. I do my best to get to the bottom of this.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I remember having seen something, but it went by so fast that I cannot tell what it was really. Nevertheless, I have a distinct feeling that it was my life. Which one I don’t know. It was like a videocassette that is played forward or backward at high speed.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will For my second experience, yes. I struggled to be able to come back not because it felt unpleasant where I was, quite the opposite, but to reassure my husband that had broken down because he thought I was going to die. I had to fight against incoming waves to get down.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist catholique

What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist None or all of them.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have started to read different religions and philosophy. For me, they all contain a part of truth. They define the same thing yet they explain it in different ways.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to express an experience as long as someone has not experienced it themselves.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I am not certain whether I had gifts before. Later, I had strange feelings, presentiments that turned out to be true. For a long time, fire left no traces on me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best was to have a chance to be able to experience this kind of happiness. The worst is that I have tried all my life to regain this sensation through drugs and alcohol, instead of meditating healthily. I cheated using these means.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The first person was my boyfriend when I was 15. I have influenced him a lot, and we shared a lot of spiritual discussion. The second was my husband, who is American and very earthly. For 10 years, I have tried to communicate my spiritual convictions to him, however it goes slow with him, compared with my former boyfriend, who is my best friend today, but I have hope.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Meditation, drugs. I studied my dreams very closely, hoping to find a solution in these magical moments.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish that every person in the world can experience this happiness. I hope that this is what death is, and if this experience can give us answers on the why and how, that would be perfect.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I would like to thank you from the depth of my heart. I have no suggestions, but want you to know that the fact that I have described my experience has been liberating to me. I don’t think it is about a precise question, the most important is to be listened to. THANKS.