Marie M NDE

Experience Description

Several months ago, I felt very depressed and started to contemplated suicide. Over the weeks, my psychological condition deteriorated. Leading up to the event, I was eating psychotropic products and became an alcoholic.

In this spiralling state of mind, I had no hope anymore and felt completely desperate. Late May 31, 2024, I drank 7 beers, had several alcohol shots, and took 5 different psychotropic drugs. I was ready to go.

When my body started to shut down, I mustered my last strength. I went to my mother in the living-room and said to her, 'I'm sorry Mama, I hope you aren't angry with me. I took all the pills and I want to die now.' Then things started to blur. My mother called the rescue services. Several paramedical and an emergency doctor showed up. When they saw the number of pills I had taken, they were shocked. They told my mother that if I was saved, I would probably sustain permanent damage. My heart was out of rhythm and I was probably having seizures. I was later told that I was very agitated, flailing around, and kicking away a cover, as if feeling much too hot. I have no memories about that time.

At the hospital they put me in the ICU station where I was vomiting. They put me in an induced coma. It seems that a nurse was sitting for hours at my bedside, holding my hand. She gave me a teddy bear as a present.

During that time, I was moving towards a beautiful place. I felt soft breezes and saw a nature scenery that I could feel in 'my body.' I hardly could fathom this beauty. It was warm and cozy. The colors were beautiful and there was bright sunshine. The birds and the natural green were gorgeous. This wasn't a normal dream. Before that, I was in a place about similar to the Grand Canyons but not directly. I was with an American indigenous family. I knew that I had been there before, as it was so familiar. They had been talking together, saying that I belonged with them. Then I slept there. Later, I travelled farther out. I felt soft, warm breezes. It was wonderful and comfortable. I didn't know anything about my earthly life or my family. I was simply the deepest core of myself.

Suddenly, I woke up in my body with headaches, double sight, and was unable to coordinate my arms. I started to cry when I saw my mother at my side. I realized that didn't know anything about my loved ones anymore because I had been 'journeying' elsewhere. Several times my consciousness vanished and I was 'traveling' again into the lightness. Each time I woke up, it hit me like a blow. I couldn't trust being in both worlds anymore because both seemed so real. I hoped to remain on earth with my mother. I tried to 'hold on', but was vanishing again and felt no sadness anymore-until I was back again.

Since that time, I have no depression anymore and have changed completely. I love people, am more social, am approaching people. And I simply do what I want to do.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: June 1, 2024

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Drug or medication overdose. Life threatening event, but not clinical death Suicide attempt Metabolic acidosis.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was focused totally on myself; my pure self.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? After things blurred.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There was no time

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was very sharp.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I believe I didn't hear anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain. Parts of my memory about the event are already gone.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met many different people

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The heavenly nature was surrounded by a white, golden light. If I had reached there completely, I would have been dead.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. It was very beautiful.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Easiness, no sorrow, deep peace, unbelievable joy, and a coming home

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. The young woman was sharing many insights with me, but only through her gaze. She communicated to me telepathically on all the important things.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No I experienced chapters of my life, looking as if they seemingly belonged to a previous life.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I very much would like to work in hospice with dying people and bring love closer to them.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Life has a deeper Sense.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I met a young woman, being at the same time, both, old and wise. Her face was very marked. She brought awareness to me. Her gaze was full of gravity and skepticism. This gaze has been burnt into my memory.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I was with an American/indigenous family and it all felt very genuine; I knew the people. It felt as if I had been living there once.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Hard to describe

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes The sense of life is love.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I 'knew' everything. I was safe.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was healed because I experienced an ideal and love I was missing on earth. It filled all my mental misery. At the same time, I encountered the 'young, mystical woman' with a grimly, skeptical coolness of wisdom.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt it and was fulfilled with love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I became very self-assured and full of zest for life; I do everything that I like and think about. I'm living free of all kinds of blockages. I finally can configure a life without depression. I can look forward. Due to this experience, I'm filled with love and purpose. All shortcomings and hardships have been understood; I have what I need for life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I became a more relaxed, stable person with more courage and less withdrawal.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes This was so deeply connected with me that it's unbelievably hard to put into words.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A higher intuition but completely free of judgment.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Psychotherapist, Psychiatrist, my mother.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had already experienced similar to near-death through other medical issues, but never so intense and extremely close to the light.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Everything was very real and connected to me. I sensed soft warm breezes and experienced telepathically all people over there

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The questionnaire is good.

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