Marilyn C NDE

Experience Description

I began to feel sleepy with the loss of blood. I lost consciousness on the way to emergency surgery. I became aware that I was no longer on the gurney but streaking through a tunnel at a high rate of speed. At the same time, I understood that I was no longer in my body. At some point, my speed began to falter and I found myself floating in a void filled with balls of light. It was not a tunnel I had passed through, it was just the same visual effect as traveling at warp speed through the stars. I had been traveling through a field of lights in a void. As I slowed, I could hear disembodied voices murmuring around me, and I realized I was just a glowing ball of energy, though I was thinking clearly to myself, questioning my own presence.

At the same time, I understood the other voices emanated from the energies that surrounded me and they, too, were thinking similar thoughts that I could hear. As I drifted and listened to the voices, I had no sense of the past or the future, only the present. Then I felt myself physically slammed back to where I found myself in bed, hooked up to a blood transfusion in post op. The doctor never discussed what exactly happened to me before they performed the surgery, but I strongly suspect I nearly died in childbirth. I have an entirely different perspective on death now and I don't believe religion enters into it much at all, except maybe to those who need it as a crutch to get through life in general.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 9/28/77

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' Hemorrhage during prolonged labor caused loss of consciousness; leading to near-death experience before emergency cesarean section.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was more focused with heightened awareness, less distracted by outside interference. It wasn't a thought process, just an awareness. A knowing.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While drifting in the void among the other disembodied energies.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no sense of time passing. To this day, I have no idea how long I was there. It could have been minutes or hours, I don't know.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can't say there was any vision, just awareness. I knew what it looked like and what I was. I saw it in my thoughts. I didn't see it with my eyes, I just knew.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear the voices of others, but not with my ears. I was hearing their thoughts.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was like a tunnel at first, but I realized I had been streaking through a field of energies, producing a tunnel-like effect as if I were traveling at warp speed through the stars.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I understood that the other energies I encountered were either dead or dying, and taking the same journey that I was on. I did not recognize anyone that I knew, nor could I distinguish between genders as there were no gender distinctions to be made within the energy fields or their thoughts.

The experience included: Void

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A void populated by energy lights of awareness.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? No emotions, just awareness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe It was not understanding, it was awareness.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience At the time, I was still on the fence about the beliefs and practices of organized religion. I now believe my spiritual existence is not so much a matter of religion but more of a matter of physics, as a conscious energy form, with or without a body.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Religion is no longer a particular concern to me.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No Not one, but thousands of others just like me.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I shared a common experience with hundreds, if not thousands, of others in the same situation. I was aware of their presence and I could hear their thoughts, whether or not they could hear mine.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain Had I continued on the journey, I don't know what might have been ahead or if, indeed, there was an actual destination. My experience would have occurred with or without a supreme being acting as a tour guide.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably does not exist

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew the thoughts of others around me.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I became aware that the life being is an energy force that was once contained in the body and could continue to exist on its own. I don't know how I knew this, I just did.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I believe that my total and utter indifference to the plight of the living (including myself and my unborn child) could be taken as an indication that life should not be taken so seriously as it really is only a temporary state of being.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I am not afraid to die, and in fact, would prefer to die rather than be kept alive through medical practices and procedures.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have an uncanny knack for knowing when another person is ill, even when I don't know anything about them. I know when the lady standing next to me at the cash register has a heart problem or something else going on, but I don't speak up for fear of not being taken seriously. I knew the cleaning lady at work was not well, but I didn't say anything for that reason. Though I regretted it when she had a massive heart attack a few days later. I also frequently share thoughts with others and I am no longer surprised when they repeat exactly what I was thinking. I used to dream that a man stood at the foot of my bed watching me sleep in our new home. I never said a word to anyone about it, until my daughter woke me up one night as I was having the dream to tell me she dreamed there was a man standing at the foot of my bed watching me sleep. I can also see shimmering auras around people sometimes. I don't tell anyone about any of this. Nobody would believe me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my oldest child about it after she had her first baby. I don't think it affected her in any way. But I did tell my brother-in-law who was dying of cancer and I know in my heart, though he did not say so, that it helped ease his fear of the unknown that lay ahead of him.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes According to what I had read in books and magazines, I thought I would see a bright light at the end of a tunnel and all of my family who had passed on would be waiting for me there, and if it wasn't my time to go, somebody would tell me and I would have to come back. That's not the way it happened at all.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It took a long time to wrap my head around what happened, but I knew it had happened. I just didn't understand what. It didn't match my understanding of near death experiences, but I knew I had nearly bled to death. I finally came to the conclusion it was a near death experience, but not the same as the textbook type and that each person's experience could be different.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's all part of the circle of life and pretty much out of our control.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My heart stopped on the operating table on July 8, 2011 while I was under anesthesia. I don't know for how long, but long enough to alarm my doctor who later insisted I get a pacemaker. I have no recollection of that event. There was no near death experience. I suspect it may have been because I was under anesthesia at the time and already unconscious.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You should ask people if they were aware of taking any different kind of form while outside of their bodies.