Mark W NDE

Experience Description 9903:

I have always had severe asthma. This experience happened to me almost forty years ago. In 1985 I was nineteen. My chest had not been good, and it began to tighten suddenly one evening before Christmas at home. I became very distressed.

There was a heavy weight, like a stone, on my chest. I forced myself to keep breathing for as long as I could, but the pain became too great. Finally, I very consciously gave up.

Once I stopped breathing, the pain immediately ceased. My consciousness lifted into my head, and I remember thinking: 'Well, that's it then. That's been my go.' I was surprised how calm I felt. I remember thinking, reaching the end and feeling no pain at all: 'Nature thinks of everything.'

Then, I noticed tiny red sparks in front of my mind. After this, the mind seemed to flash like an old TV screen, alternating black then white. None of this affected my thinking processes at all. They were as clear as they ever had been, if not more so. But I knew that at some point I would stop thinking and I would simply die.

But that is not what happened.

Instead, suddenly, like a jack-in-the-box, I leapt out of the top of my head. I noticed my body sprawled on the floor. I didn't know how it got there. I'd been sitting at the kitchen table. I found it repellent to look at. Dead bodies are repellent to the dead as well as to the living, clearly!

I scrambled upwards and I found myself in a velvety, warm, black space. I felt that I had the same shape as before. I also felt really well. I'd always had health problems, so it was good to feel wholly unencumbered by illness and physical restrictions. However, I was a little bothered at the thought of spending eternity in a warm black space, alone.

Then a point of light began to brighten in the distance, and I was drawn towards it. The light became bigger and brighter. The grey, expanding tunnel experience you will have read about describes it accurately. Or Hieronymus Bosch's astonishingly accurate picture, c.1500. The intense light felt like a conscious presence — not just light, but a living, divine being. What a joy!

At the same time, I became very aware that I had died. Not just that I had died, but that I had died AGAIN. I realized that this was a repeated experience for me, and I was disappointed with myself that I hadn't remembered that this would happen. I knew this experience very well and I knew I had 'died' before many times. I was also disappointed with myself that, being young, I had not made use of my life yet or done anything with it. And now it had gone. I had a feeling of a wasted opportunity. I felt that it was quite difficult to get a physical life on earth.

There was also the feeling that I had actually killed myself — which I had not. Obviously, it was asthma. But I knew that the real culprit behind it all was me. I was keenly aware that, in the life that appeared to have just finished, I had reached a psychological dead end, as it were. So I had decided to die — a perpetuation of the same personality patterns would have achieved very little.

I was also made aware that everything that had happened to me in my life had somehow been 'caused' by me. Every bad and good experience, every relationship, and every difficulty I had faced, in reality, had been given to me by myself, in some mysterious way. 'God' had not done it. I had done my life to myself. This was presented simply in a very objective, non-judgmental way. It was just the way things were. It reminds me now of the statement by Maitreya: 'Whatever is in front of you, around you, rest assured its roots are within you. Creation is within you. The roots of objectivity are in subjectivity and that subjectivity is you.' (The Laws of Life, Benjamin Creme, p.63)

Then I became bothered that I was in an unfamiliar place. I wondered who I should pray to, since the situation seemed to be as dire as a dire situation could be, especially as I was conscious that I had not actually ended when I died.

But should I pray to Buddha, or Jesus, or Mohammed? Which one was the right one? I decided that I would pray to God and He would have to work it all out for me. I began to meditate profoundly — and desperately — as though my life depended on it; certainly, as though my future depended on it. I flew further up. I refused to acknowledge anything that distracted my attention. I felt it was important to cut everything away — every identification and everything I had been. Everything was a delusion if it smacked of duality. I am not sure where any of these ideas came from. I was not (and still am not) a traditional religious person and I had never studied religion or the concept of duality. In fact, I rather disliked religion. But I was very conscious that I must not be distracted, and I must give away everything — everything I loved and cared for, every grudge, bitterness and resentment. Everything had to be dropped. There must be no identification with anything.

Two 'spirits' tried to greet me, and they encouraged me to calm down. (All communication at this point was telepathic, by the way.) I remember asking them if one of my favorite authors, Charles Dickens, was truly a great writer — I was a keen literature student. They answered yes, but Dickens wrote as though his characters were separate from himself, they said. Then I began to feel that I had become distracted, so I drew myself away from them. They watched me go up. I imagined them shaking their heads behind at me.

At this point, the huge light of a great Being appeared in front of me. My sense of duality wholly ceased. Everything you will have read about an Entity of Light and Joy and Love absolutely agrees with my own experience. As an aside, nothing comes with a label in any of this. Krishnamurti's line 'the word is not the thing' is absolutely right, it seems to me. Therefore, you must read this account as my own, effortful attempt to describe something that is very difficult to put into words. All I would say is that I did not think that this Being was God or Jesus. In fact, it seemed to be so overwhelmingly delighted to see me again, that I have since come to think that this was, possibly, my own soul. There was such a feeling of energetic, personal familiarity about it, and this Being was so overflowing with joy to see me, that I think it could only have been a better aspect of myself. Nobody else would be that bothered!

In the face of this unconditional love, I asked this Being if he would give the same experience to a wicked person like Hitler. This amused him quite a bit. He replied: Yes, of course, anyone who wants it. But I suspected the implication was that a person like Hitler would not really want an experience like this. Then the soul — if that is what it was — took me into itself. My lower, ordinary consciousness expanded and merged wholly into this Being. For a few moments, I forgot my own narrow personality and I became one with it. The Being had a quality of enormous but particular individuality. It was a quality that I wholly recognized and identified with, yet it was not separate from anything. I felt like it was deathless: that it had never been born and could never die, and it was the essence of meaning. I felt as though I was experiencing the heart of the true self. The experience was astonishing - a concentration of boundless love, wonderful intelligence and profound purpose.

Shortly after this, I became aware of a red light in some part of the Being. So far all had been joy and laughter and golden light. Now I became aware of a rather more serious red light. This red light or ray seemed to be connected to the earth, almost like an umbilical cord, bringing an awareness of suffering. It also seemed to be full of self-sacrifice.

I became acutely aware that I could not yet 'do' this extreme quality of self-sacrifice and compassion towards human suffering. It was at this point that I separated from the Being and contracted somewhat back into my more normal identity.

Moving away, I seemed to be presented with a reflection of the activity of my mind or my inward state. It was like a scribbled, luminous line — almost like a line you might see on a hospital monitor — and the line reacted to my inward state with tremendous sensitivity. I saw that if I calmed my inner state, the line settled down. Equally, if I 'let go', the line went into scribbled chaos, and it was very difficult to get it back under control. It seemed to be important for me to recognize that I could control the line. The aim was not to achieve a perfectly flat line, but to be in charge of my inward state. I realized that my inner state had been very disordered and chaotic.

Then, finally, I saw the Earth as a great round ball in front of me, as though I were in space. Around the globe there was a rose-pink colored light which seemed to be the expression of a truly Giant Being. It was as though He had His arms around the Earth, bathing it in a protective layer of love. I immediately asked: 'Is this Jesus?' At this point, the Giant Being seemed to pulse in one specific location at the mention of this name. It was clear to me that Jesus was greatly beloved by the Being and He was regarded as a very Great Servant, and He was adored. But I also felt that they were not identical. I'm afraid words do fail at this point, really.

I then asked: 'What would be the most important thing for me to do with my life?' After a brief pause, I got the answer that it would be to make known the appearance of the Christ. This was very alarming to me as I was not a Christian. I wasn't sure what to do with that.

[A few years later, in my early twenties, I came across Benjamin Creme's information. It seemed to me to be 'correct.' But I'm afraid that I did not have it in me to make known the reappearance of the Christ. So I forgot it wholly. Then, a few years later, when I was about 26, I woke up one morning with Benajmin Creme's name in my mind, and I immediately ordered the book. Slowly I became involved with the Reappearance group. However, I have to say that I am still a bit reticent and embarrassed about talking about the Reappearance of the Christ, except to other people in this group.]

Back to the last part of the NDE. It began to dawn on me that I had now actually died. I thought back to people who would really miss me — my brother, father and mother. My father and brother would get over it, I thought. But I realized that my mother would never recover. I could not believe I had the power to cause such suffering. I began to plead profoundly to go back. I had no personal desire to go back. The place where I was felt like home, and it felt much more real and solid than my other life on earth. At the same time, I did not want to hurt my mum.

Immediately, I began to plunge down. I woke up. I was back in my body, and I found myself being maneuvered through the front door on a stretcher into an ambulance. Given our distance from the local hospital, I would say I must have been away for at least 10 to 15 minutes.

I would like to say that afterwards all went swimmingly well. But I'm afraid I was terribly depressed for many years. It is not flattering to see oneself as one really is. There seemed to me a chasm between the soul (or whatever it was) and the miserable, narrow personality I had made for it. I felt like a profound failure. It also seemed to me that my ambition was wrong — how can one trample on others if we are one with all?

Looking back, I was probably rather harsh on myself. However, one hopes that some progress has been made over the past turbulent forty years — possibly.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: December 1985

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Severe asthma attack seemingly coming out of nowhere.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I noticed a body on the kitchen floor just after I sprang out of the top of my head. I didn't recognize it, but it repulsed me. I realise this must have been me on the floor. But since I stopped breathing at the kitchen table, I didn't know how I had ended up on the floor. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Everything was very clear and lucid. I knew who I was and what was happening. I was able to formulate clear concepts and understood any replies.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was wholly alert throughout the whole experience. Once I had stopped breathing (it is extremely distressing to be suffocating to death and one cannot really concentrate on anything) then my mind was as clear as ever.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I'm not sure how long it all took. The only finally deciding factor in the end was my horror that I had died and how upset my mother would be about this. This would be my fault and I found that very difficult to bear. At its point I came straight back.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is similar I would say. But my experience was not of landscape but of some great Being. Sight combines with feeling and understanding. It comes as a whole.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No real difference. All communication was telepathic and instant. It all seemed more of an experience than I can put into words.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Tunnel is an easy way of describing it. I experienced a sense of relief to be moving towards a living light from the not unpleasant but dark void before.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light is astonishingly bright. It is an unearthly light, incredibly powerful, like moving into the sun. But it is not painful to look into. It is also living. The light was overflowing with joy and love and intelligence towards me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm There were two Beings who seemed to want to greet me at first, and answered my question about Charles Dickens. But I'm afraid I thought they might be delusions and I dismissed them! After this the experience was not like physical plane reality.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Well, it is a fairly ecstatic experience. It is awe inspiring obviously. But it also makes one feel somewhat ashamed that one has not lived one's life with the sense that this is what happens at death.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I saw my own life as having purpose. I was also aware that my personality was not somehow 'right' for life as I was living it. I realized that as a person (at the age of 19) I had hit a brick wall.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No I was keenly aware, once the experience started as I went through this 'tunnel' state, that this was dying and I had done it before countless times. I was disappointed with myself that I had forgotten that this is what happens at death.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated Nothing especially clear or definitive.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have read widely in spiritual literature- especially the more esoteric texts, theosophically inspired stuff - and I have practiced meditation for decades now.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated Nothing particular or definite.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I did not expect to continue after stopping breathing. I expected to simply stop. That said, once the experience began I felt as though I was a bit of an old (and stupid!) hand at it. Everything came back. I felt like a fool for not remembering what happens when you die. There was something familiar about it all. The fact is, I was always bothered about the meaning of life as a child and I often wondered, as a child, what I had done wrong to be thrown out of heaven!

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It is difficult to live now without a sense of eternal persistence. So there is no end, as such. Also, we are profoundly connected to all of life. Love is the fundamental essence of our real beings.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I went before a great Being who came before me once I had gone through the tunnel. I'm afraid I was taken up with the idea of duality and worried that I might be distracted from my focus by imaginary phantoms. I have no idea where these ideas came from. But they were very real and urgent - that I must concentrate and aspire from any lower distractions or illusions. It was only when I moved before the great Being that all sense of my own self as separate from everything ended.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes As I say, my last view was of a Great Being like a pink light that held or surrounded the whole world. When I asked if this was Jesus, a point within the pink light throbbed with intense adoration as though He, Jesus, was profoundly regarded as a very Great Servant.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes My reaction that I had died again and had done this before again and again, was an almost immediate response to moving towards the light initially.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes When I stood before the great Being of light, then it is impossible to think that this is not reality. The fact that I realized how separative ambition was - cutting oneself from others and pushing others aside - to me means that the fact of a profound unity of life is a fundamental basis of the true reality.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain Nothing comes at one with a theological agenda! Nevertheless, the whole experience is spiritual and profound.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt that our lives matter very much and we should take them seriously. Life on earth is difficult to get and it should be accepted as a gift, even though it is often very hard. We (and I) should make the best of it whatever. This is quite a difficult lesson.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes This relates only to my life specifically and I would not extrapolate from that to anyone else.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes My consciousness persisted after I stopped breathing, both inside my body and when I left it. Clearly if this happens, then consciousness survives death. The fact that I had the clear thought that I had died AGAIN shortly afterwards suggests that consciousness persists beyond physical death.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The entire experience takes place in a state of love. It is in the very space around, and absolutely palpable. It is the true state of our being. Love takes many forms: romantic love, family love, friendships, but also social love - the love we express through the ordinary work we do in society when it is undertaken responsibly. All that - at heart - is love too.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Life is complex and one does not become magically perfect! Uncertain

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It took me a long time to be able to give it a structure, as a sequence. I tried to explain it to the Christian minister at the college where I was studying (Merton College, Oxford), but he wasn't interested. I stopped trying after that, but have returned to it recently as people seem more open about these matters.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It is an experience that I can easily recall. Compare this with the fact that I can't even remember if it happened before or after Christmas!

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I remained conscious throughout. The fact that the death of the physical body is not the death of the whole person at all.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried afterwards within a year or so. But only hesitantly to two people. Recently, almost 40 years later, I have written an article for a magazine I subscribe to (Share International, UK) and they published it. I wrote the experience into a stage play I wrote but no one was interested in the play.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was incontrovertible. I was fully conscious throughout. It profoundly affected me inwardly and my relationship to life itself. I became deeply disappointed with myself.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It still strikes me as wholly real. In fact, when I had emergency open heart surgery a few years ago my last thought was that I did not want to see the light because I still had some things to do. Of course, it is one thing to see the light after death. But subsequently I wanted to see the light within everyday life. I did have such an experience some seven years later when, leaving the body briefly, I saw the atoms of earth itself alive and full of light.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes As mentioned above, when I left my body for a few minutes in full waking consciousness and saw the world streaming with divine light. Even the very atoms of the motorway in front of me were glowing with joy. I have also had other experiences of going before a great golden being during sleep when I 'woke up'.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No thanks

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No - all good.

klaas91_nde


Experience Description 8503

I realised my breathing was getting very bad, as though a stone was pressing on my chest. My eyes were closed and I was just concentrating on breathing. I stopped listening to anything going on around me. The ambulance was too late. There came a moment when it was too painful to breathe any more. I knew that I was going to die. Everything was black in my head. I was waiting for the moment when I just stopped.

Instead, all my consciousness seemed to lift from my body and became centered in my head. I was without any pain, although still in my body. I remember thinking, 'Nature thinks of everything!' The end was going to be painless. Interestingly, I was entirely conscious during all of this, in the sense that my thinking mind/self was entirely clear throughout. There was no gap in consciousness.

Then I saw white sparks in my head, followed by red sparks. My mind began to flash in white-black-white-black color like an old TV set. It was at his point that I thought I would simply lose consciousness and die. And then I seemed to jump out of the top of my head. I scrambled upwards.

There was a black and velvety void. I remember thinking that if I was dead and had to endure an eternity of this, then it would be bearable, but rather empty. I looked back at my body and was repulsed by the dead thing. It was also a relief to be out of it and rid of my body. I saw what a burden it had been all my life.

Looking about, I perceived a small spot of unearthly light in the distance, so I moved towards it. The light grew larger and I moved towards it. Whilst I felt safe, I was also troubled. I began to worry about the need to pray to a divine being. It concerned me that the truth might not be Buddhist or Christian, but something else. I thought I should pray to God to keep me safe, and worried over getting the correct name for God. Which religious tradition? All this seems quite funny to me now.

In all this experience, nothing came to me with a name or a placard around its neck. I also had a strong feeling that I had died and done all this before. The experience was very familiar. I remember thinking, 'What? Dead again and nothing done (with my life)!' I also had a keen sense that I had killed myself. In my earthly reality, I had not killed myself because I had died from a severe asthma attack. I saw that my life and all the things that happened in it, had been caused by me. Even a random asthma attack from having asthma and poor health from birth, that seemed like chance was in fact, self-caused. I saw that my life had reached a dead-end in some ways. I had lost a sense of what it was for.

I was in my first term at Oxford at the time, so in many ways there was no reason to see things in this way! But I was unhappy. And so the end had arrived in this form. And I had done it.

The light became quite enormous now and was clearly some sort of Being. It was delighting in my return and seemed to know me well. I would l say there was much laughter. The Being was a presence of overwhelming and quite astonishing love, joy, intelligence, and power. I seemed to be taken within it and experienced this amazingingly joyous existence and Being as myself. I felt what it felt like to be this great conscious, intelligent light. Perhaps that experience was a gift?

Other things happened after that. I seemed to become my smaller myself again. I was determined to reach a point where subjective and objective distinctions dissolve, or rather, a point where the judgmental relationship between me and 'other' might disappear. I find this difficult to explain. But I wonder if I had had some sort of previous life as a Buddhist? They are rather strict about not being 'taken in' by post-death visions. Since I had never done any meditation, I seemed to know a great deal about concentrating the mind, which I found strange.

I was shown, in this post-death state, how a still mind produces a calm line, and how a disorganised, un-concentrated mind produces a line like the a mountain-range. I remember thinking, 'Ah, this is how mountains are made.' I was also shown the earth from a great distance. The earth was wrapped by a great Being who radiated pink light around itself and the earth. It was a Being of pure love. I wondered if this Being who was wrapping the earth was Jesus. A point of the pink light seemed to throb at the mention of the name. I had the sense that Jesus was very dear to this Being.

At this point, I realised that I had really died. I was suddenly horrified at the thought of the suffering it would cause my mother. I begged and prayed to be returned, to go back. Which I then immediately did. I was falling through what seemed to me to be an air or atmosphere of fog and mud and flames, intensifying as I reached my body. It was a relief to come round as I was being carried into the ambulance. I suspect now that it all took about five to ten minutes.


Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Dec 1985

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Allergic Reaction. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Asthma attack. Breathing became very bad very quickly. It was near Christmas. Ambulance was called. It happened whilst waiting for the ambulance, as I was propped at the kitchen table. My dad subsequently said I fainted.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. The body is a great deadening weight. One can think and feel more clearly without it.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? There was no change throughout, but my consciousness became more alive and brighter after leaving my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There was no sense of time, as such. A life is a small thing when viewed from the perspective of the greater whole.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. it is entirely different. I'm afraid it is more real. This world seems less real by comparison and is less solid.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is the same.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A point of light that grew larger.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The light was a Being. I did not see any relatives.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Beautiful. It was like going into the sun, but only to a light that is super-intelligent and all love.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. There was a clear realm of light beyond. I did not see anything resembling earthly landscapes, and so on. The experience was more about being felt and a mental experience.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt great joy and love and peace. Curiosity too.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others There was much more clarity about the meaning of things.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No I saw my life as a whole. There was not much to report, only that I had not done much with it.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. My mother's potential grief at my death. Everyone else would have coped, but I sensed that my mother would have been destroyed by it.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know. I thought there was more to life than the usual scientific version.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I follow and have been part of the work of the Share International Group based in London, led by Benjamin Creme.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age. Probably more Theosophy, through Bejamin Creme, Alice Bailey and Blavatsky.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was all new. Yet not in conflict.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Ambition/competition is destructive. Do something good with life that is not against others or in competition with them.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I encountered the light itself. And then, after this, some kind of vague guide perhaps? Nothing as distinct as a person.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain. As I wrote above, there was nothing by name. But there was a response to my question as to whether a Being who appeared to wrap the globe was Jesus. I had the sense that Jesus was certainly a great individual in his own right and beloved by this Being, but was not the Being specifically who 'held' the earth. This is hard to explain.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes One of the first thoughts I had was that I had 'died' before and that this was a familiar experience. 'Dead again?' I thought. It is interesting that I thought 'again'.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I certainly had an experience of unity or oneness.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes It is important to be compassionate. This is the most important and only thing.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. The whole experience was unbroken from the time I was struggling to breathe, to suffocating, to leaving my body, throughout the experience and then upon return. Although it seems that I passed out, in reality I was at all times fully conscious. During the experience, I was astonished that nobody had told me that when you die you see a great light and that you continue in full consciousness.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes When I asked the light what the most important thing to do in life was, I was told to make known the presence of the Christ. I sense that this bit of information might have just been for me. I have been involved with Benjamin Creme's group (Share International) about making known the Reappearance of the Christ, since my mid-twenties.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes There is nothing but love, in reality. It is the magnet that holds all things together.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I became depressed. I saw my personality was too narrow. It was too restricted to contain or communicate the great things in the light.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm much older now. I suppose one changes in relation to the experience.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Nobody told me that when I died that I would see a great, living light. No 'authorities' or people I trusted.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It's still tremendously clear and vivid.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole experience.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Just verbally. People are a little uncertain about it, but polite.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It has always seemed to me wholly real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It is still wholly vivid. There is also a light in life too, not just after death. This can be seen and experienced too.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Just fine!

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