Matt L Probable NDE

Experience Description

I hurt my back at work and the pain was interfering with my ability to sit for long periods of time. This included my 3 hour long classes in college. I called a friend who was an opiate pill addict to get a couple of pain pills. Once home, I took two. I have had numerous surgeries and have taken pills as prescribed by doctors during the recoveries, so I am aware of their effect on me and the potency they have. I have never had an opiate addiction. In fact, I rarely take them even when prescribed because they make me itch uncontrollably.

I sat down to study, and within 20-30 minutes. I knew immediately something was wrong. I could tell that whatever I took was not the norm because it was much too strong. I managed with great difficulty to get to my bed to lie down. A few minutes later, I was having trouble, both breathing and maintaining consciousness. It felt as if an elephant was sitting on my chest and I could only manage tiny breaths. Keeping my breathing going and my eyes open seemed to require conscious effort. I felt like I was losing total control over my body.

I had the thought that I should try and get my head to hang off the bed in case I vomited. I do competitive jiu jitsu, powerlift and overall engage in activities which require great exertion. Moving my head a few inches to hang off the bed in that moment was to this day the greatest effort I have ever had to muster in regards to my body. It kept getting harder to breath, I could no longer make my body move and the terror then set in. I knew I was likely overdosing on some fake pills.

The terror felt like eternity and then in an instant the terror was gone. It was replaced by a feeling of peace and calm so great, I struggle to find words to describe it. My mind seemed clear, although a moment before it was cloudy and frightened. I knew that I would be o.k. whatever happened. I did feel bad for my family and friends if I was to die. I remember trying to pay attention to see if I was still breathing. I couldn't tell. I could no longer see anything since all was black.

Then I had a vision. I saw many hills and a mountain around where I live. I could hike and this is where I spent a lot of time. I had a favorite spot with an old, gnarled oak that I used to enjoy resting under. I saw this oak tree but it seemed to be glowing or lit up somehow. Out of it flew a California Scrub Jay, a bird I have seen daily my whole life and would consider my favorite. Nothing was said to me.

I then woke up. I was surrounded by a dried puddles of vomit and urine. It was approximately 30 hours since the event happened. Once I woke up, I knew I had to switch my major. I don't know how I knew. I had just started college and was taking business classes with the hopes of getting a MBA. Somehow, I knew I had to become a therapist. So, I did. I now specialize in working with children; particularly those with trauma histories.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2010

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Drug or medication overdose. Other: Happened alone. No other person was there. But I did not clinically die.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness felt normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the moment of peace and calm, that replaced the terror.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. Things felt very slow

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was unable to see at some point. But I did not have increased vision or anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes. There was unearthly light around the oak tree.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Terror, peace, calm; some kind of sadness or concern for my loved onces

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I understood in an instant what my career and life path were to be

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic. I was raised Catholic but became agnostic when I was around 16-18 years old.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes. I believe now that there is much that science has been unable to tell us and may not be able to do so. I spend more time being grateful. I also sometimes 'talk' to my deceased grandparents. They don't talk back. I don't even know if I am talking to them. But when I need support my mind just goes to them.

What is your religion now? Do not know

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Before I wanted to be in business or technology. I am slightly autistic. I always loved things more than people. After the experience, people are much more interesting to me. I want to be of service. I know somehow that people are all that matters, even if things are interesting. I want others to feel as good and purposeful and connected to others as I do.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I am more interested in people overall. I tend to not let things bother me. It drives my wife crazy.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have no words for the sense of calm and peace I felt. It was beyond anything I have had before. I call it existential calm for lack of a better term, because it seemed greater than just the calming of physical body.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my wife (girlfriend at the time) maybe 5 years after the experience. She was cool about it. Said she was happy I survived obviously.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real.I just knew it was real. The vision was for me, even though I still don't quite know why I saw what I saw.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain. The answer is no but I clicked uncertain so I can add that I have done more psilocybin mushrooms than probably any other human and this experience was nothing like it. Not even close. Mushrooms are of this earth as far as I am concerned. This experience was beyond it.

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