Matthew B NDE

Experience Description

I was sitting around my friend's kitchen table and we were hanging out talking. It was not the first time in my life that I have felt light-headed, and thought I was going to pass out. I would sometimes lose my equilibrium and just see bright light but would be able to talk to my friends. My friend would give me an apple and water and I would typically be okay. Except this time I said, 'Guy's it's not the same thing, it's going to be bad, nothing is helping.' I went to rest my head on the table but my head slammed down. My arms and hands locked up, my body stiffened. My friend's wife was a Registered Nurse, and she was scared. They said I was trying to talk, but my jaw was clenched shut, I was trying to mutter words through my teeth: moaning like. My eyes rolled back, when they were trying to lift my head up. My friend, who is strong, could not pry my hands open or un-bend my arm. They were about to call 911.

What I saw and felt was pure ecstasy. That is the only word I know of to explain it by definition. Immediately I saw the blackest black; black like space. I felt as if I had no body. I was weightless. There was no temperature. I was just conscious. The only way I have been able to explain it to friends was as if a doctor numbed your body, put you in a pool, and blindfolded you with the lights off. What I felt was an enormous amount of ecstasy at first, and then I realized I was going nowhere; I was stuck. I got scared. I was looking around in a panic. I saw a pin prick of light at the top right of the darkness. I immediately felt ecstasy again. The light became larger. Whether I traveled toward it or it came to me is uncertain. I had no feeling of movement.

The light was overwhelming (similar to how you would have your eyes shut looking at the sun on a beach then opening them). My eyes adjusted to the light. I saw beings that appeared to be robed with hoods. The only way I distinguished their bodies was that it appeared that they were standing under a waterfall of different colored water like light (yellows, oranges, whites and a little red). There were four individuals standing shoulder to shoulder, all the same height. There was one at the back, which seemed as if it were pacing behind them back and forth. I still felt pure ecstasy. I was the most comfortable I've ever been. I asked, 'Where am I? Who are you? Hello?' I noticed I still saw a sliver of dark at the bottom right. I heard in a loud yet whispered, steady comforting voice, 'HE'S NOT READY'. I said, 'No!! NO!! I'M OK!!' It was not heard as we spoke and hear through our ears. It was purely inside whatever I was at the time: my soul? It was instinctual. It's very strange to put in words. Was it telepathic communication?

Next it was as if I was sucked out through the black real fast, I kept saying, 'No, no, no, no.' I knew subconsciously that it was about to hurt a ridiculous amount and I did not want that feeling. My eyes slivered open and shut to darkness and the 'real world' as I am trying to resist. Then I felt as if I was kicked hard by electricity like a taser gun straight to my center chest by my heart. It was the worst pain of my life, until I was tasered as part of my military training.

I was fully awake now and my first words were, 'I'm pissing myself, sorry I can't stop.' I was embarrassed. I regretted coming back. I was strangely encompassed by an immediate sense of knowing. I was in a personal crossroad in my life at the time of the incident. The knowing that was instilled after the incident was an immediate change of life. It had to be extremely different and had to happen fast. I knew that I had to take the military path even though I did not really want to. The other path was a job offer of crime, in which I really did not want as well, but I was jobless.

I am glad this experience happened to me. I think about it almost daily as I remember my mother who passed. I have seen shadows and felt presences before. I have even seen a large dark hooded figure, which scared me growing up. Yet this NDE was amazing and enlightening. I now believe strongly that this physical world is just tangible and it really is just a test of how good a person we can be. I still question world religions, but I am not scared of death as I was before, I cannot wait to 'carry over'.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: fall of 2006

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain 'unknown. I felt lightheaded as i sometimes do, but I felt somewhat displaced. I passed out at the kitchen table in front of friends.' 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' I passed out as I previously explained above. I went to a doctor, but I had no insurance at the time. He was worried. Said it was not a seizure, and wanted me to have a cat scan.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Immediately after I passed out.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Immediately after I passed out.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning My wife just said I had seized up for about three minutes. When I am remembering the experience it seems appropriate.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was the darkest black, and the brightest light and an immediate knowing. I had no idea if I moved toward the light or if it moved toward me.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was not as if you and I hear words and sounds through our ears. It was just 'there'.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was darkness, I was happy then scared because I was just 'there'. Then I saw a pin prick of light and then it was an overwhelming source of waterfall of light.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes There were five hooded type same height individuals. There were four in front, one pacing in the rear of them. I feel as if they may have been dead relatives. I heard 'HE'S NOT READY' in a loud yet comforting whisper after I asked where I was and who are you. Then I argued 'NO, NO, NO, NO.' I did not want to leave.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I want to see this waterfall of immensly bright light again and be welcomed by the same people again. pure bliss.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Ecstasy and an overwhelming comfort. Knowledge.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I was in a personal fork in the road in my life. I came to and knew I had to take a harder path in life and immediately. The other path I was offered was no good.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I did join the military. I came back to consciousness and was babbling about the immediate need to change my life. I had only thought about joining since I was technically homeless.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'raised Catholic, but I question world religions.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I still do not go to church. I do believe that we have no need to congregate and be told how to pray or who to worship. I believe we as humans have historically seen the same beings and put different names to the same gods/angels/beings from above. In short, we fight wars because we disagree on the name of the individual that one lucky soul saw years ago. Religion is pointless. The only thing to take from religions is the fact of an afterlife, and that you have to resist our animalistic ways and become more moral. Just because you go to church on Sunday doesn't make you a Christian. Just become a permanently positive person, and maintain that constantly. There is something bigger and better than us, and we as humans are imperfect and cannot agree to the names we put to it.

What is your religion now? Liberal Very strong opinion on life after our physical death. i believe we have souls as I did not prior.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I still do not go to church. I do believe that we have no need to congregate and be told how to pray or who to worship. I believe we as humans have historically seen the same beings and put different names to the same gods/angels/beings from above. In short, we fight wars because we disagree on the name of the individual that one lucky soul saw years ago. Religion is pointless. The only thing to take from religions is the fact of an afterlife, and that you have to resist our animalistic ways and become more moral. Just because you go to church on Sunday doesn't make you a Christian. Just become a permanently positive person, and maintain that constantly. There is something bigger and better than us, and we as humans are imperfect and cannot agree to the names we put to it.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I had to change life paths. I immediately accepted 'souls', 'heaven' and an 'afterlife' instead of wondering about them as before. I have felt that I need to ensure people of an amazing afterlife when the questions come up. Since the experience, I have come up with theories. I have a new perspective on life and humans.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always seen entities, whether it be shadows, hearing loud whispers, feeling pressure. My wife says something follows me house to house. She has never had any experiences until she met me. :) She doesn't like them.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing. I think the pacing individual behind the four people in front was my mom - but really who knows.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately with my friends and the doctor I saw. I only tell my good friends now as I am worried it would affect my career.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My mom raised me telling me of an Indian Chieftain Spirit guide she had. She told me of an NDE when she had a stroke on the operating table. She was very Catholic and wanted me to have faith, but I would always have adult questions as a young boy. I see similarities in our stories such as loud whispers and water, but she was standing by a stream/small river with sapling trees and she claimed she spoke with God. She was whispered loudly to, 'You're not ready, raise your children.' I was four when that happened to her. I was sixteen when she passed.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I feel it is more real than our reality. Years later, I still feel the same way. The body you have is the first step of life I believe.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same as above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Can't wait to die. Seems weird to say, but just enjoy the life you have and the people around you while you can. Afterlife is going to be awesome.