Matthew D NDE

Experience Description

On February 17, 2000, I was traveling with my family to go on a weekend vacation. Our car hit a patch of ice on the highway and rolled over numerous times. We eventually stopped rolling and were upside down in the center of the highway in the grass median. In this first accident no one was hurt, the car was totaled and upside down, my mom was trapped in via the steering wheel but we all checked in and everyone was ok.

I was in the rear seat on the passenger side. I was dangling upside down. I remember when I unhooked my seat belt that I plopped down on the driver's side rear window. I found it so strange to be standing on the glass. We were in a Chevy Tahoe and I remember crawling over all the stuff in the back of the car and through one of the broken windows in the double rear doors. My last memory is just ducking my head through the door and hearing the crunch of the broken glass made under my feet.

Another vehicle traveling on the highway in the same direction we were going at this moment lost control on the same patch of ice we did. This car, however, did not roll and just shook from side to side. The car then migrated towards the center median where it regained traction. The car then on its wheels with the cruise control on, followed the same path our car had taken. It struck myself and my brother who had just crawled out of the car. Then it crashed into the car that my parents were still in. I was the only person to lose consciousness.

I do not remember making it outside the car. I cannot tell you what it looked like after this accident. I do remember crawling through the window. I cannot remember anything around me when I crawled out. When I visualize it deeper, it feels like I'm crawling through a dark hallway and outside the broken rear windows of the car is this brighter place. The light is so bright, I need to close my eyes because it is blinding. I do not feel heat, like if you were to look up at the sun. The light is so bright. that I need to close my eyes and I turn my face slightly.

When I re-open my eyes I am in a room. It is not instantly clear where I am because the light was so bright. When I can finally focus, I can see there are no walls and the edge of the room is like an endless void. I know that I am in this room and there is and edge to it even thought I cannot see it. I feel the confined space of it. It is not a tight feeling, it just feels like there is an edge; almost like a glass room. I am seated at a desk; the top of the desk is glass and clear but I cannot remember if I can see through it. Across from me is a man. I cannot picture his face but he is middle aged and wearing a white suit. Everything is white. I cannot remember his hair other than he was well-groomed.

This place is calming. I do not feel fear or sadness. It almost has the feeling of a warm blanket around my body. The man across from me speaks. I cannot hear his voice only my own in my head as I recount the story. He said that I was in an accident but this was not my time yet. He said that I need to go back because I had to do something important to do and that I will know when I need to do it.

Then I heard something like a screaming noise with incredibly loud ringing. This fades into voices starting to talk and then beeps of the hospital machines. I am traveling downwards and moving fast. I travel through the light, above my head on the hospital table, and back into my body.

It is dark. Every feeling comes back and people are talking to me. My eyes are closed and I feel pain that is indescribable. Every inch of my body hurts inside and out. Words become clear and I am now talking to a nurse. She is asking me about Star Wars, she is saying something about Luke Skywalker and princess Leia getting married. I am almost flabbergasted by this and am talking to her like what are you talking about they are siblings. I open my eyes and I am looking to my right, there is a person in the bed next to me. I can see it is a man. I am reaching out my hand and calling my brother's name but he does not turn his head. He just looks forward. I then passed out.

I remember waking up again and this time I am in a dark room; it is a hospital room and I can barely speak. I am just whisper and groaning for water. I am trying to speak and nothing comes out other than a little noise. The man next to me calls for a nurse and lots of people come rushing in. I remember sitting up in the bed with people all around me, when I just started to uncontrollably vomit blood all over the place. I pass out again.

The next time I wake up, my memory and timeliness in my head go back to normal recollection. The man that was in the room with me sounded like a frog. I think he was a smoker. It was the ICU of the hospital. He was a cowboy singer named Mike. He came back and left me his cowboy hat, a pair of gloves and a card that had his cartoon on it. Inside he wrote, 'Ride this one out, a good bull won't hurt you.' I do not remember seeing him again and I have not been able to find him. I am very good at searching for people online. I think I came close but can only confirm with a police record search I do not have access to. I want to go back to that town and find him.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2-17-2000

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Accident Direct head injury. Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness being in that room felt normal. waking up in the hospital was a daze.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was more alert when I woke up the 2nd time. And threw up blood. The first time it felt like everything was slow, painful and in a daze. The 2nd time was still a daze but sharper alertness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I don't feel like there was time. we had a conversation and then I was sent back

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was asleep when the car began to roll. By the time we has stopped moving I was awake and I can remember very clearly everyone was calm when each person said I am ok after the first accident. in my recollection of everything that happened in the accident and when I was in the room with the man the visuals are the same. When I awoke in the hospital my eyes felt like a first morning wake up with a crusty hazy feeling.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I cannot remember the noise of the accident. the man in the room part hearing was regular. coming back into the emergency room was like the roar of a train passing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I can visualize crawling through the back of the car and coming out of the broken window, this is a physical thing that actually happened. I cannot remember stepping outside in the snow but I do remember going through this dark tunnel and coming into the bright light. It’s like I make it to the doors of the car and then I crawl through another tunnel into a bright light that was not the sky or sun outside.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I know what a sunny day in February feels like. Looking into that light has a feeling of warmth on your face, this light was not warm just bright but not uncomfortable. I closed my eyes and looked away more because it was annoying, not because it was a problem.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm This is a hard choice because the room was unfamiliar and strange. The way it was built and looked nothing like it exists, it would be impossible

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm, peace, at rest

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic Considerable time has passed since my accident until today and I have fallen out of faith with Catholicism. I would say that I was raised in the Catholic church but I would only go to a mass today if it was for a family members sake of for an event. I relate more towards Christianity now than any other religion. Internal my heart tells me to be more spiritual than Christian but the framework and institution of religion is set up through Christianity so it is the easiest medium to visualize. a very long answer to say I am not catholic anymore; I believe in a god and use Christian faith to relate to it only because it is familiar.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I am unsure how to answer this, I was just along for the ride

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I was so young when it happened I was not able to fully develop as an adult. I have never feared death after it and have walked into harm's way more then once since. I am looking for that important thing but cannot find it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin As stated earlier I was behind the glass desk and I both spoke to and saw the man on the other side. He looked like a man and he said that I was in an accident, that it was not my time and I had to go back because he needed me to do something important and that I would know what it was when it happened.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told that I was going back to do something important and I would know what it was when it happened, no other details were given.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was told I needed to go back to do something important and that I would know what it was when it happened.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
43a
Before: I was still a child at the time so I went to church and believed in god
After: I believe in a higher being, not sure if it is the Abraham god but in some sort of creator.

44a
Before: I was still a child at the time so I went to church and believed in heaven
After: I am uncertain. I know there is something but what I cannot tell you.

45a
Before: I was still a child at the time, I never had that conversation
After: , only the loss of time to do things

46a
Before: I was still a child at the time, I thought of children things.
After: I feel like we make the best of what we have, I also feel that some people are more meaningful and better than others.

47a
Before: I was still a child at the time, same as above there is not a lot of good and bad
After: For those I deem worthy of my compassion I bend over backwards and give to the point of loss of time, income and Happiness for me. For those who I do not, they are nothing to me.

48a
Before: I was still a child at the time, I did child things
After: I am not fearful of my body or living on earth, I am nervous that others will ruin my vision of what is right and just.

49a
Before: We went to church every week as a kid and ate it up
After: I do not believe in organized led religion. If I want to have a conversation with the higher creator I can do it direct and without the help of others. There is never an answer, sometimes I feel like they listen, other times it's just me talking to myself. I have never had a prayer answered, never have been given a sign in the moment nor have I had anything that is cause and effect.

Things have lined up on a spooky level with times, dates and feelings in a way that feels good and connected. But no church or organized religion has ever given me that.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience memories come in chunks from that time but it is all pretty clear including what happened during that experience. I have questioned over the years did that happen or not but when I listened to the Theo Von podcast and Dr. Jeff began to describe what people feel. I was instantly moved to tears, it was not a feeling of sadness but just incredible emotion that came out in tears and sobs.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have official ADHD (2021) and unofficial autism (2023) I see patterns and feel like I make very good future predictions. I can look at mechanical and spatial things and take them apart in my head and spin them around. My brain is a map and I remember all directions.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The part where I was told to go back because I had to do something important and I would know what it would be when it happens. I have been looking for this and ready for this for years. I have built my life around being prepared and ready for an emergency and for being that person that can be there for someone else. The man in the hospital room with me has always been on my mind. I see the hat here and there. I keep it in my basement, it used to be in my closet. I have never found him; I have never forgotten him.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I woke up I said this is what happened to me, my religious aunt knew and a few family members who visit knew. My aunt said something about talking to god. Other people just nodded and acknowledged but said nothing. I went to therapy for it later in life and I felt like I talked about it and moved on but did I really? I think about that message often and it is like a little itch that’s there. I don’t talk about it in therapy (we did once and moved on). I bring up the accident here and there but I feel like I had a good release after years of build up. I have told a couple partners who I had relationships with. They seemed to be more focused on the trauma of what happened and were like… wow that’s a crazy story. I have not truly told anyone how much I feel about not knowing what my mission is. I do feel like I am 'lost' but not lost in the way that I don’t know where to go. I am going where my life takes me, I don’t know what I am supposed to do but I am ready for whatever it is. I have thought about what if I need to trade my life so someone else may live, I would do that. I don’t want to donate a kidney because my heart is telling me that all of me and my strength is needed for whatever my mission is. I have never really shared it, I keep it more to myself.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real description of other people’s experiences on Theo’s pod cast in the first 10 min I stopped everything to write this down so I would not have any basis in my writing. It felt so real and fresh.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real see above

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes This is not related to the experience I had but my accident in general. I have seen the x rays of my body after and I remember seeing many zippers on me in them. I was told that a bunch of people pulled over and stopped to help. There was a snow plow driver who stopped and was the person who got on the radio fist and gave me his coat. I had a massive cut on my head and everything was covered in blood and ruined. I was told that man then got in his truck and kept plowing the roads. He stopped radioed in, said they were coming, gave his coat and kept plowing. The hospital was in the direction he was going. There are many times in my life when I have shown up to someone in need and they are like damn where did you come from. I get great joy from helping and then just disappearing when they are like let me get something to thank you. wmt3nr

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No. thank you for creating a space for me to share this. it is a heavy topic but it feels like a burden has been lifted in a way.