Melanie J Possible NDE

Experience Description

I have cancer. I have never known pain and discomfort as I did whilst undergoing chemo. A few days after treatment I was in pain. I couldn’t get out of bed because it was so bad. I stayed in bed to rest. It was only when I returned from my NDE, that I realised I had gone in the first place. It seemed so natural at the time.

The ‘essence’ of me was reduced to a simple thread of purple frost about 15cm long. The string stayed together without needing to be connected by string or anything, it was simply energy that held them together. The color of the strings varied in tone from pale to deep purple. The essence of me came from the center of my ribcage. The scene moved so quickly. I didn’t notice getting there but it went to outer space and I rested on a rock that was floating in a place. It has all the other purple frosts and essences of people. It was hugely peaceful. I felt so comfortable and at home there. I didn’t mind being there at all. It didn’t matter that I left my only daughter behind.

From where I was, I could see a gigantic circle of other essences - all in shades of purple, pink, and blue. No one spoke to me but after a time, I had healed enough and was sent back.

When I got back to my body, I felt a depth of awakening. It wasn’t like I simply arrived. It was as though I came back from somewhere much deeper within me. I had a new sense of not being afraid of death. I felt very connected with the universe and that wasn’t a feeling I had ever experiences before. I then felt worried that the universe was preparing me for death and had reached out to me.

A few days later, I then saw in my sitting room a massive, dark, paper thin, mirror-like window floating in the air. I could only see it from certain angles since it was flat and paper thin. It then disappeared. A few days later, I was in my kitchen in the morning (daylight) and I saw about 20 much smaller windows all over the place. They just hang in the air. I was upset that I could see something so weird. Again it made me worry the universe was preparing me for dying when I am not actually dying.

I haven’t had any issues like this in the last couple of months, but I am having to deal with feeling strangely connected with the universe. I’ve never been interested in crystals or anything like that and this experience made me search on google. I found 'reiki' and the woman had purple crystals on her website. Then I discovered reiki is about the universe, etc. I was astonished that my experience had any resonance with anyone else. To me, it seemed so baffling and weird because it was not a part of my world at all but it seems to have found me!

I actually contacted a professor of philosophy at Oxford university. He said it sounded like an NDE. After some thought, I have concluded that the chemo drugs reduced my cells through the body so successfully that my brain actually believes it’s dying. All this 'stay positive so stuff' is said to cancer patients for a reason. I believe that as my brain thinks it’s dying and starts to panic, that’s why I believe I had the experience.

NOTE: This experience is only about 6 months old and it takes at least 7 years to integrate an experience into daily life. Readers may wish to search the NDEs for people who have had cancer for more information. Additionally, Pim von Lommel, a leading dutch cardiologist, did a prospective NDE study that lasted 7 years - the conclusion is that NDEs are medically inexplicable. One section tested for psychological issues such as fear. There was no corrolation (or way to predict) as to who would or who would not have an experience based on emotions like fear. Ergo, fear is not the cause of an NDE. However, if the experiencer wasn't dead or in an imminently life-threatening stituation, then it could be that what she experienced could have come from the brain.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: November 2019

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. I have cancer and had begun extreme chemo.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Whilst in outer space, I was as a small string of energy.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision is good. My physical self didn’t go to outer space, just the ‘essence’ of me was there.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Fine.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain. I don’t know who they were. Just strings of frost as I was.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I was in outer space.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace. Love. Relaxed.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I understood humanity but can’t describe it. It was like layers of humanity and what makes us human. To love. To laugh. To find humour. To value small things.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant. I am not religious but was brought up with a Christian background.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I don’t believe in all this madness with crystals etc. I consider them crazy stuff... and yet, I had the experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I had never felt the universe before.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain. The other strings of energy were there with me but I didn’t see people.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt so unified with the universe. There is so much more to all of this that we know.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists My essence was in outer space. It has to heal before being returned to my physical body.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes There was so much love and yet I was alone.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I am still receiving treatment for breast cancer, so that has changed me too. But I think I’m more connected with the universe. It’s so hard to articulate what that actually means. I feel slightly different to other people now and yet more connected with them.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes. Divorcing my husband.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I feel like I don’t have the vocabulary to explain exactly what happened. And also to describe the layers of humanity that I felt rebuild inside me.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing. No idea why I was purple crystal

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately I told my husband. Crying because I knew it sounded insane. I am divorcing him. My experience made me get on and do things I had been hesitant about previously.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It felt real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real. Now I keep thinking did it really? But I knew at the time it had. I think I just doubt myself because it does sound so crazy. It isn’t normal to experience something like that but it affected me so much that I feel it must have been real. I had reiki healing afterwards (something inaudible never done before) I kept hearing cancer was a blessing as it took me closer to the universe. Insane I know. But it happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No