Melissa B FDE

Experience Description

When I was 25 years old, I was driving home from work one night. I lived in Los Angeles at the time. I was driving on Sunset Boulevard heading west towards my apartment in Brentwood. For those who are not familiar with the area, there is an expanse of Sunset Blvd, near UCLA, that is very curvy. It is 2 lanes on either side with no shoulder. It was 8:30 on a Saturday night, so there was some traffic. I was driving along and all of a sudden about 50 feet in front of me I saw a car but I was looking at the passenger door. A car had spun out of control and was perpendicular in my lane. I didn't have time to stop. I looked to my right and saw there was a car next to me so I had nowhere to go. I instinctively turned my car all the way to the right anyway. Once I had cleared the first car, I spun it all the way to the left, still trying to avoid the second car.

While all of this was happening, I remembered a time with my mom at Disneyworld when I was 3. This is not a memory I have ever had. I vaguely remember parts of that trip but this memory was not one of them. I realized then that my life was flashing before me and I was going to die. I had never been so sure of anything. Every part of me knew I was about to die. I started screaming, to this day I don't know if I vocalized anything or it was all in my head. I yelled 'No, no this isn't fair. I'm not done yet!', all the while swerving all over Sunset Blvd. I suddenly stopped my car and I was now perpendicular in the opposing lane of traffic.

I looked around and there was not a single car anywhere. It was like everything had been wiped clean. I put my car in reverse and proceeded home. I did not see a single car the rest of the way. I was only 5 minutes away from home at that point but Sunset Blvd on a Saturday night was completely empty. I got to my apartment and parked on the street. I didn't see one person. While walking to my apartment I came to the conclusion that I had died and because I said 'No,' I was stuck in some limbo.

I had never wanted my roommate to be home so badly, unfortunately she wasn't. I called one of my best friends and said, 'I need to ask you some questions. Please just answer me and I will explain after'. I asked her my name, my age, what city we lived in and the date. Obviously she was very alarmed. I explained that I thought I was dead and I wasn't sure I was really on the phone with her. She tried to convince me that I was alive and that everything was okay.

There was no way mathematically to escape it. There was nowhere for the car on the right to go.

This moment has haunted me my whole life. There have been times when I have questioned my existence. I've wondered if my 'life' since has been a very detailed death trip and I'm actually lying on Sunset Blvd bleeding out in 2004.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 10/2004

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Other I was fine. I completely escaped it. I was almost in a terrible accident that there seemed to be no way to escape.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was very aware of how slowly time was moving. I had absolute certainty I was going to die. Everything in my body, mind and soul knew I was going to die. I had never been so certain of anything.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? After my life flashed before my eyes.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual Every millisecond felt like an hour.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember any change in my vision.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't know.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I was in the same place but it was strange. It felt different. All other people disappeared, I felt completely alone in the universe.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Terror, anger, sadness I wasn't ready to go

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I had a memory of a trip to Disneyworld with my mother when I was 3. This is not a memory I had ever had. It was brand new.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Now I am more Buddhist than any other religion. Meditation has become a daily practice for me. Being a kind person has become my number 1 priority in this life.

What is your religion now? Buddhist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was brought up Catholic so what happened did not fit into that box. I was just starting studying metaphysics so my mind was opening up to new ideas. Though I was raised Catholic I have always believed in reincarnation, for as long as I can remember. It was never a choice. I've always thought that is how it works, even as a child.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes As I said earlier it changed how I saw everything. My place in the world was turned upside down.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I realized nothing worked the way I thought it did. It changed my perception of everything.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember every detail of that experience so well, it's like it happened yesterday. Besides my job and roommate at the time, I don't remember the daily details of that time in my life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I said 'No'. I had no idea my will to live was so strong nor did I realize that sometimes we have a choice about dying.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few people I told immediately. I'm not sure if they believed me or not. I know that they believed I believed it. I find more people believe me now. There is an awakening taking place and a lot of people are far more free thinking than in 1994.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Not any personal knowledge, though I had heard others' accounts of NDEs.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It haunted me. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was desperate to understand why I didn't die that night, what saved me from that fate.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Now I believe in quantum physics so I think I jumped to a parallel existence and actually did die in that timeline.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No