Michael F NDE

Experience Description

I was eighteen years of age, decent, tough and innocent to the ways of the world. I was in the city one night and encountered a gang of twenty or more knife-wielding thugs who wished me serious harm. I fought them off as best I could but with the odds being so overwhelming, I had to run. I fell to the ground. I had no chance to get back up because they were all over me. There were so many kicks coming at me that getting into a fetal position took some doing. They kicked me and danced on me continuously. Numerous times they tried to break me from my fetal protection. Then I felt the knives going into my back. They felt like cold icicles, then more kicks and more dancing on my body. I felt someone kneeling on my back. Then I felt knives going into my head and my neck. At this point, I felt I was doomed. I cried out to Jesus for help. At the same time, I heard a voice saying, ‘Come on, the f**ker's dead’.

Next thing I know, I am floating away from my body. I am looking down at a lot of silhouettes gathered around what I believe to be me. As I am rising away at an angle, I am wondering what is happening. After about five seconds of rising upwards, I stop. Suddenly, I find myself immersed inside a light. I found myself immersed in this all-encompassing light where time has no meaning. Space has no meaning. I have a feeling of oneness with the Universe. The pull of this light is so captivating and overwhelming that I have no choice but to completely surrender to it. It reminded me of shimmering liquid mercury. My natural instincts tell me to look left and right. I manage to look two degrees in both directions before I am instantly drawn back to the center. The attraction I feel towards this light fills me with total awe. The unconditional love, peace and happiness it exudes are infinite. Whilst still in the light, my whole life's history begins to unfold in front of me at a speed that is mind boggling. Somehow, I know, this was my life. Then in some way, I know I am going to leave this wondrous place. Realizing this, I try to focus on the light but I am too late.

My next memory is that of women screaming. I am lying in a gutter with fifteen stab wounds to my body. I felt at that moment, that I was ejected from Heaven. It took me months to assimilate this experience. I was reluctant to mention it to anyone for fear of sounding foolish. I was told at some point that I had an out of body experience. It was made to seem like a common occurrence.

Over time, I brought the subject up with various work colleagues. I learned from certain individuals who were involved in motor car accidents that they had experienced portions of their lives' histories flashing through their minds as they were trying to avoid the crash. After a time, I deduced that while these drivers were in the midst of crashing, their minds were searching through their memory to find a way to stop the crash from happening. These crashes were unavoidable because there was only one, maybe two, seconds to escape them. I was able to relate this experience to my own life flashing before me, but I was still at a loss with the rest of the experience.

Eventually I put it all together. My interpretation of this traumatic experience is as follows. As I rose from my body, the thugs that attacked me were still there in silhouette form. In a coherent way, I was thinking, 'What's going on? Did this really happen, or did my mind create an illusion to make me feel safe? I think therefore I am? Who knows?' I believe that my mind brought me to my earliest memory, that being of me in the womb. At some point from conception, I am enveloped in electric organic energy. I believe this to be the light source. I am in a state of ecstasy. Is this because I won the sperm race? I don't think so. It is because I am receiving everything my world has to offer: nourishment. In this cocoon-world there is no sense of time: who needs it? There is no spatial awareness, who needs it? A complete oneness with the universe, I am the universe. While I am experiencing this portion of my memory in the womb, I am in a state of rapture. I am in a state of rapture because when my mind is searching my memory for a way out of my crisis, it is shooting through my memories at a phenomenal speed. In doing so, the original pure happiness that I experienced in the womb is multiplied by the maximum speed of my mind. On reflection, my whole life's memory that began in the womb probably took less than one minute. When my memory brings me to events outside of the womb, the light that still surrounds me diminishes into the background.

Again, I am looking at the unfolding of my life's history at a phenomenal speed. I know it is my life. I try to slow it down but it is impossible. Somehow I know that this is all coming to an end and I know I have to leave, probably because the memory is ending. I panic and try to get back to the beginning but it is also impossible. When normality eventually comes back into my life, I feel an inner happiness and oneness with everything that stays with me always. This experience sent me on a knowledge quest. I am still on that quest. For me the 'Ultimate Reality' is love, and love is the fruit of understanding. I have come across some extraordinary claims concerning these light experiences. For example, people shooting through tunnels towards a light source, arriving at destinations where they meet people whom they know, but never having encountered in real life. I've also heard of people that were hypnotized, and while under hypnosis recalled histories that they never experienced. Is it possible that the fetus can access the mother's memories through the umbilical cord? In conclusion, I believe my interpretation of events should be used as a template for further inquiries.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1975

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. Multiple stab wounds including to the head - attempted murder

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain Silhouettes of my attackers: I clearly left my body and existed outside it I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Total awe

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Consistently throughout

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Incredible speed but experienced with full lucidity.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No difference

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No sounds during the experience at all.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Awe, peace, love, rapture

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control My past flashed before me, out of my control Full life history

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Catholic Ireland 1975

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Led to knowledge quest which resulted in atheism

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God does not exist

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? Unknown No

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love abounded in the light

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Large changes in my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's taken 40 years to adequately document the experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No