Michael L NDE

Experience Description

After having gone through about ten prior operations for debridement of my left foot with skin grafts, I was used to the procedures. So, I never worried. I always recovered quickly and without complications. However, this was an emergency operation because I was hemorrhaging so much blood from my right leg that I required a transfusion. I passed out on the gurney while being rushed down the hallway towards the operating room.

I suddenly 'woke up' floating on the ceiling and was looking down. It wasn't dream-like because everything was in clear detail. I 'felt' like my back was 'bumping' against the ceiling. I had the strong sense that if I was to turn around and look up I would not be able to go back into my body again. So I floated there for awhile and watched the drama unfold below me. I was totally calm. There were several people in green gowns who were working around my body on the operating table. I DISTINCTLY remember marveling at the thin, glowing, silver 'cord' leading from my solar plexus down to the body on the table. It was stretched very thin, that it started to wonder what would happen if it broke.

As soon as I thought about that, I suddenly 'woke up' agai and was back in my body. I was GAGGING on something as I opened my eyes and looked straight at the anesthesiologist as he did something to the equipment above my head. The next thing I recall is waking up in the Recovery Room. When I asked the nurse why I remembered gagging on something, she told me that I'd returned to consciousness when they revived me. I still had the airway tube down my throat.

I knew all the nurses there, and they were all very concerned about me. They told me about how they'd 'nearly lost me'. That event shocked me so much that I became obsessed with finding out 'what's going on?' During my final months at the hospital, I requested books on philosophy, eastern philosophy, psychiatry, psycho-cybernetics, and various religions. I then spent the next few years hitchhiking around the country, living in communes, ashrams, and seeking the truth about all questions of life. I've never been particularly materialistic, but during those years I especially shunned the establishment lifestyle, and delved completely into the counter-culture. I've never stopped searching for answers, and my life has been a series of adventures right up to today.


Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1972

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was in surgery for the tenth or eleventh (?) time of the 13 operations that I had in about ten months of hospitalization. I'd been in a serious motorcycle accident and had gangrene in my foot for four months. They kept taking more and more of the foot, trying various experimental techniques (VA hospital), because I wouldn't allow them to just remove the whole foot. I was extremely exhausted, weak, and had lost a lot of my body weight. One night, a serious blockage formed in a 'petacle flap' they had cut into my right leg, preparing to transplant it onto the bottom of my left foot. The flap filled up with about a cupful of clotted blood, requiring immediate emergency surgery. The nurses later told me that during the operation, while they were attempting to clean it up, apparently a blood clot broke loose in my leg and passed through my heart, which stopped it, and they had to resuscitate me. I guess it only took a few seconds or maybe minutes.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw and heard the doctors, nurses, and the anesthesiologist working on my body. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It seemed like I had stepped out of time and knew everything in an instant.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I was studying the glowing silver thread which connected me to my body. It all seemed to come together for me in an instant, I knew what was happening, and what I had to do (go back).

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Once I realized what was happening, it seemed to lose meaning.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I 'sensed' what I couldn't see. I knew that there was a boundary behind me as I was looking down. I knew that I could have passed through the material ceiling but crossing that 'sensed' boundary would have meant leaving my body permanently. I don't recall focusing my vision on anything except that silver cord. Everything else was there, and I saw it clearly. But somehow not as 'real' as that tightly-stretched glowing silver cord. That was more real to me and more important to me, than anything else. I was almost completely focused on not breaking it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I recall hearing the voices of the people below me, but not focusing on the words at all. It (they) just didn't seem that important to me. It was all about that cord.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt awe and wonder. Then at at the end, I felt concern that I might break the cord and not be able to return, which I very much wanted to do.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. In the instant just before I returned to my body, I felt like I knew everything about everything, and why I had to return.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I felt like the decision was entirely my own, and no other person, entity, or force would be used to influence me. But whatever I chose, it would be final.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths. Raised Catholic from 5-12, Mormon 14-16, but undecided from 16-21.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have spent years researching religions, philosophies, and belief systems through books, films, travel, and experiences. My spiritual beliefs have been in dynamic growth ever since that event.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. I believe all religions are man-made dogma and rituals that I don't require. I make my own as I go and find spiritual teachings everywhere in life. It's all about the evolution of Consciousness.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. During the war (Vietnam '69-'70) I had already been through several extremely traumatic events and NDEs. I had already experienced the 'Slow Motion Syndrome' associated with OBEs. Plus, I had used LSD on two separate occasions with a friend, during downtime in a safe environment,. At which time, I had a glimpse of what I learned later that many people call the Akashic Record, or a glimpse of the Universal Consciousness. So two years later, when I was in that VA hospital, I had pretty much already formed a belief that I had been spared during the war for a specific purpose, and thus it was then multiplied.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Material issues meant even less to me than they had before. Immediately afterward, I was focused on my spiritual life 70% and my material one 30%. That changed later, as I took on more responsibilities (leadership roles in business, family, etc.) but since retiring two years ago I'm now pretty much there again.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain It may have been included in the 'burst transmission' that I received during that single instant of 'knowing' that I experienced. I know that I certainly became interested in researching that topic, and others, after this experience and have never lost interest.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I saw that there is a Oneness to the whole universe, but I didn't hang around outside my body long enough to learn more.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt like I 'knew' everything for just an instant. I realized then that God is 'Knowing'. That's the only way I could have described it at that time, but I knew with my whole being that a Supreme Force of some kind existed.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes During the experience, I knew for SURE that I had a special purpose for being alive, and that it was vitally important that I not allow that cord to break.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I believe that I was given a lot in a burst transmission, but it was left up to me to continue to research the information in more depth later. I have devoted my whole life to doing just that.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. When I 'saw' that silver cord stretching from my navel down to the body on the operating table I realized exactly what was happening, and that all the stories about life after death were true. I was completely calm, and at peace with the situation as I watched the drama unfolding below me. I 'remembered' many things at that moment and I KNEW. Then I 'sensed' the barrier behind me, and I saw that the cord was stretching very thin, and that's when I realized that I had a choice to make. I made it instantaneously, without hesitation, and instantly returned into my body.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain I believe that I was given a lot in a burst transmission, but it was left up to me to continue to research the information in more depth later. I have devoted my whole life to doing just that.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain I believe that I was given a lot in a burst transmission, but it was left up to me to continue to research the information in more depth later. I have devoted my whole life to doing just that.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I believe that I was given a lot in a burst transmission, but it was left up to me to continue to research the information in more depth later. I have devoted my whole life to doing just that.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I became obsessed with 'Walking My Path' and 'following the signs' that I was being shown in my daily life. These things would guide me to meet the people I needed to meet, and to have the events occur that I needed for spiritual progression. My entire life became an adventure, a quest for truth and truth-seekers. That has not changed in forty-six years. I still feel that I owe it to all my comrades who didn't make it back from the war to live as good a life as I can, in search of truth, and helping others along the way.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I searched my heart to find how I really felt about the people in my life, and became more focused on the people that I loved.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was more 'feelings' than words. It was just a sort of 'knowing'.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Although short-lived, I recall my OBE more clearly than anything in my life, except possibly for the times during the war when I had 'Slow Motion Syndrome' events (very near death) occur. They all seem to have the same clarity.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I started seeing synchronicities everywhere in my life, and became much more perceptive of people, almost as if I could read some people's thoughts at times.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I always marvel at the memory of that glowing, silver, energetic, umbilical cord stretching from my 'astral' body down to my physical one. I can still see in my mind's eye the scintillating light from it, almost like sparklers.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told a few of the nurses at the time, but they didn't really treat it seriously. After that, I only mentioned it to people who I know hold beliefs similar to mine.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had a 3/4 ton truck roll over the top of me in Vietnam. I was riding in the back, standing up behind the cab. The canvas had been removed and I was holding onto the wooden arch slats. We rolled off a blacktop two-lane road, which was built up above rice paddies on either side. I was flung out into the rice paddy and landed on my back in a foot of water and mud. Then the truck rolled over me. For the seconds it took to do that, time had slowed for me almost to a stop. I was absolutely convinced that the truck had come to rest on top of me, and I could feel myself mentally preparing to die. I screaming inside my head, 'It's NOT FAIR!' Then the truck rolled just a bit more, and I was freed. The wooden slat and the mud had saved my life. I'd had my first 'Slow Motion Syndrome' event of my life. I was to have more in combat actions before my motorcycle accident in 1972. I don't know if my (4) NDE's prior to my OBE affected my reaction during it or not. Possibly, because I know that I accepted the situation almost immediately, AND I knew immediately that I very much wanted to live.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. The astral experience was more real to me than my pathetic excuse of a body at that time was. I was almost sorry that I had returned, on more than one occasion, during the following months of operations and rehabilitation.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I have no doubts whatsoever that the experience was real, because the memory of it all is clearer than any other memories I have, and they don't change.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I'm extremely glad that it happened because prior to it I had been in a confused, PTSD-induced, guilt-ridden state of mind. Depressed from months of pain and suffering in three hospitals, with no visitors at all (by my own wishes), and I probably would have spiraled out of this life within a year or two. That event changed my life so drastically. It gave me such a grand mission and a reason to go on living, which eventually became the focus for the rest of my life.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I could provide the details of my (3) other NDE's, which may relate to my eventual OBE.