Michelle H NDE

Experience Description

I was driving to work. Not speeding. In an instant, the truck was on its side sliding along the soft dirt shoulder of the road. My vision simply faded to black like in the old movies. All sound stopped. There was no feeling in my body. It was dark. I was not in a body. I was AWARE I was in the dark. I was aware that I was observing and actually thinking. I thought, 'Huh, that's it huh.' I experienced only a moment of fear before I faded back into a body full of pain.

There was a witness to the accident. He said that it was like watching an invisible kid play with a toy. The truck lifted straight up, turned side-ways and slammed into the driver's side. The truck slid along, and then flipped twice across to the other side of the road. Then it flipped over from back to front until it was upright. He didn't think I was alive he said.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: September 1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' Fluid build-up in the brain and broken neck.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal From the beginning to the end.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the beginning to the end.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no time except before I was in the dark.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I knew I was in the dark, in what I know to be a void. I was aware of my being there without a body.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nothing loud or soft, no sound but awareness of thought.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? None really, as if I were a just an observer.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes It solidified my experience that God did not have my best interest at heart - if he has a heart. I had a visitation by an angel in the first twenty-four hours after the accident and although comforted by it, on the other hand, I was hurt and felt unfairly abused.

What is your religion now? Liberal NONE

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It solidified my experience that God did not have my best interest at heart - if he has a heart. I had a visitation by an angel in the first twenty-four hours after the accident and although comforted by it, on the other hand, I was hurt and felt unfairly abused.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain In a way, I considered there was no order or purpose.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am closer to my husband and mother but distrustful of anyone else. I am more resentful and avoid people when I can.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That it was so fast. That the experience itself led me to the idea that in fact, the dark was all there is with no God or heaven or light or meaning.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared with a few people. Their reaction was mostly disbelief or just pondering.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had ushered a woman out of her body once. She was very light when I picked her up to give CPR but once I told her I couldn't help her and it was okay to go home, her body was too heavy for me to even budge.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Angry. Afraid. Hurt. Despair.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still suffer physically from the accident so it is a reminder daily what I had lost before the accident and what I have lost since then. The experiences during the first twenty-four hours only confused me and I felt resentful, unfairly chastised and doubted a God had no particular interest in helping me as a person. I am still ambivalent.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It took from me more than it gave - just as life does no matter how kind and loving in intent.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Be more open to the many of us of whom the experience has done nothing particularly good for their lives.