Mike R NDE

Experience Description

I woke up that morning and was on my way to work at a new job. I usually have my coffee all made at the apartment, but that day I had to stop and get it, because I had been up with my new baby. I stopped to get my coffee, got back in my car and was on my way. The next thing I knew, I was in the back of an ambulance. The Emergency Medical Technicians and the Medic told me that I had been in a serious car accident and I was now being transported to the area trauma hospital. I also found out that it had taken them two and a half hours to cut me out of my car, and, being a fireman myself, I knew that the crash had been more than just a little one. Also, I could tell it was bad from the fact that I was being taken to a specific hospital, because of its being a level one trauma center. When I first woke up in the ambulance, I started fighting with them because I had been unconscious in the car and I didn't know what was going on.

It was not until they wheeled me into the Emergency Room that things started to happen. It was like they were wheeling my physical body into the Emergency Room, but, at the same time, I could SEE myself getting wheeled in. I am not sure how long after that it was, but I woke up again, this time to doctors and nurses asking me all these questions. I didn't know what to say because they had just told me I had stopped breathing, so I was freaking out. Then I went out again. This time I saw my kids playing in the park. I seemed to be watching them from a distance, like I was not really there. I stopped breathing twice that day. After about thirty-seven X-rays, Head and Body scans, the doctors hooked me up to a chest tube, morphine and the usual IV. When I was stable in the Emergency Room, they sent me to my room.

Once in my room, the first people I saw, besides doctors and nurses, were my at-the-time fiancée and one of my good friends from the apartment complex where I lived at the time. It was so surreal: it was like, ‘Did I just survive? Something that all the docs said I should not have?’ That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The next person I saw was my oldest nephew whose birthday it was on the same day of my accident. My brother and sister-in-law also came to see me. I freaked out because we couldn't get in touch with my mom. She was on vacation in Vermont, and her cell phone was off, so she really didn't know what happened until that next week. I was in for a week and then went home. When I got home, everyone was there to welcome me: friends I had, and people I knew that lived in the same apartment complex that I did. It was like, ‘Wow, guys, I didn't die, and I'm still me, but thank you!’ Then days and even months after the accident, it kept playing in my mind over and over again: the accident, the visions I had in my head, and everyone in the Emergency Room, saying I should be dead. It was like, ‘When will it stop?’ After months of rehab, my physical being is now good for most part and the mental, I think, will always be there.

Today, August 16, is the 8-year anniversary of this almost fatal day, and even though it does not affect me as much as it did back then, it still feels like it just happened. I guess you really never get over it totally. Someone was watching over me that day and telling me it was not my time to go.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Aug 16th 2004

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I had a serious car accident.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain It was when I saw myself being wheeled into the Emergency Room, and when I stopped breathing, all of that was when I was in the Emergency Room. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I think during the ambulance ride and once I got into my room.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual It seemed to slow down a lot and, right before I came back, it would start speeding up, and then I would wake up.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was more or less like it was just me and what I was envisioning, nothing outside of that. It was like they were there and things were happening, but I was not hearing or seeing that.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was just focused on my life and what was in it and going on around it.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was like the light at the end of the tunnel kind of thing. It was there, and then the visions came.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain There was my grandmom, to whom I was very close. She passed away back in 1997; she was there, but I didn't see her.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain It was a bright light when I was looking at my kids. It was through my vision, though, so I was not sure from where it was.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was mostly scared, worried, and, ‘What is going to happen to my kids if I don't make it?’

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others It was like I knew something. People always say things happen for a reason. I knew, and can now understand, why things happen more than I used to be able to.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future Business things and my career.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will It was as though I was not ready to pass yet and someone told me I have to go back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe a lot more in the God above. I never really used to believe in Guardian Angels, as I do now. Also, I believe that someone is looking down on me and protecting me, like the Angels.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was alwasys under the impression that you die and then who ever it is takes you where you need to go. I didnt know that it was more sprtiaual then that

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe there is a God, a power higher than us, who is up there telling us what is going to happen if we do this or that, someone watching out for us, in ways I can somewhat understand but I can't really explain.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No It was like my grandmom who I was very close to she was there but I didnt see her and she passed away back in 1997

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Well seeing me still being here yes and seeing all that could have happened to me though not being there yes I can say that does exist

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Well, seeing that I am still here, and considering all that could have happened to me with my not being here, yes, I can say that God does exist. Yes, I used to think, ‘What is worse than death?’ I mean, nothing can be as hard as, or more difficult than, losing someone. I lost my grandmom, whom I was very close to, so I know how it feels. Now I do, with my kids and family. I need to be there for my kids when they need me and also be as good a dad as I can be, because it may be all taken away at any time. My kids, loving them and never letting go; being there for them as much as I can.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists No

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Live for the day because you never know when it could be your last and do what you can the best you can everyday

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Yes I was thinking what is worse then Death I mean nothing can be is hard or difficalt then losing someone and I lost my grandmom who I was very close to so I know how it feels

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes yes my kids loving them and never letting go and being there for them as much as i can

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Moderate changes in my life. Now I believe more that there is someone looking down from above on us and protecting us to a point: but letting us do our own thing as well, and also helping when we are in need.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes Well, with my kids. It made me more aware that we may not be here tomorrow or the next day, and it's made me closer to my kids.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes When it first happened, I really didn't tell anyone about the visions I had. It was like, ‘Who is really going to believe me?’

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I can almost see it as if it was like the kids being born like what time it was where I was like deatils about it

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just the part with my kids. I am very close with my kids. It was hard, and it is still to this day, thinking that they almost lost their dad. Then again, I remember that I survived it, and am still here, so that makes it better.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No I have never really shared my visions with anyone, just the events of the accident.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I knew what they were but didn't really look into it until after it happened to me.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I didn't really know nor have any info about it, so I kept on wondering about it. I didn't know what it was or how it could happen.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I was there, it happened to me, and I understand it more now, so I can say for sure it happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When it rains out, because at the time of the accident it was raining, and also on the anniversary date of it.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Live for the day, because you never know when it could be your last, and do what you can, the best you can, every day. I was always under the impression that you die and then whoever-it-is takes you where you need to go. I didn't know that it was so much more spiritual than that. I can almost see it as if it were happening now: the kids being born, what time it was, where I was, all those details about it.