Monika NDE

Experience Description

I took a dosage of medicine that was supposed to be lethal for a minimum of four adult men. After my suicide attempt, I was found by local firemen and an ambulance was called. Even though I do not remember anything about being found, I am taking this from the telling of people who were present. What was the most significant for me was the fact that during the intervention of the doctors, I was clinically dead twice. The first time for a longer period of time, and the second time only briefly. Afterwards I was in the intensive care unit, I do not know exactly how long, in a deep state of unconscious. The doctors informed my family that my chances of survival were 2%. I would, in any case, have irreversible brain damage and that I would be simply “ a drooling vegetable.”

My experience began with a flight through a dark tunnel that had a “certain structure.” I came closer to the light, which was all the more intense but in no way did it address me. The light was full of love, otherwise I am unable to give it a name. I found myself in a fruit orchard with the constantly pleasant light. It was as if it told me that I don't need to be afraid. It said that I was received with enormous love and no one in any way will judge me. My inner feeling was that I ended up home. It was very peculiar that it was as if I did not have a physical body. I was extraordinarily light and my legs in the grass did not touch a single blade. I was pretty confused by that because as an atheist and a person when I confront something scientifically unexplainable, I am reluctant to believe it.

A little ways away from me were three horses who were pasturing. In life, I had never seen horses like these. The size was something between a pony and a race horse, even though by appearance I know horses a bit; however, no such heavenly horses like that had I ever seen. About ten years after this experience, I was in Iceland and I saw something that shocked me because the Icelandic horses were like the heavenly horses in every detail.

In the distance and in front of me, I saw a lake. There were three figures, a woman, a man and boy about a 10 years old. I wanted to speak with them even though they were far away. Suddenly, I was standing next to the boy who was named Joshua. Simply by thought I was able to move myself there. We spoke telepathically, neither I nor Joshua used our lips for articulation. Joshua told me that they died when their yacht sunk. They were from the United States. He even told me the name and place, but unfortunately, I did not write it down. After a few weeks, it went out of my memory. Joshua was quite thrilled where he ended up as opposed to his parents who were quite confused by the where and how they ended up here.

Then next to me suddenly appeared a somewhat somber, gray house. I carefully went inside and even though from my earthly life I did not know the house, I saw that once I had lived in it. In the house, a silhouette of a dog who had tragically passed away was constantly following me. I felt constantly responsible for this death to some extent. I had let him go from the leash so that he would follow me but he suddenly ran in the opposite direction. He was hit by a car. Even though his eyes were accusing, at the same time I could feel forgiveness from them.

A little ways further I saw between open doors. A five year old little girl sat in the corner playing with her doll. I saw right way that this was me at that age, so that I could better understand but would come next. Next was the picture of my not-too-happy childhood. She told me that it was forbidden to look at this room or spot even though I am there.

It pulled me hard and probably I would have even looked there, but suddenly I was again flying with enormous speed back through the tunnel. Even in this short period of time, it dawned on me that the final judgment was awaiting me and that they would evaluate my good and bad deeds, but I had no fear of it whatsoever. During this time I comprehended that 'God', as we earthlings call him, is enormously loving and uniting energy whose essence is in each one of us.

After the second clinical death, it was rather “a fleeting flight through the tunnel.” The light and the other peculiarities, such as the incorporeal body and the telepathic ability, were the same but I ended up in the courtyard of some French castle in the period around the 15th century and waiting for me a was girl. She stood under a window and pointed to a window from which she had jumped because of a unhappy love affair and killed herself. And she added, “Don’t you do it, it is still not your time." And I flew back, once again. I even spoke with the girl telepathically in a fluent language that I do not understand.

The events after the experience were sad. I terribly wanted to return “home” but it did not happen. Doctors in the intensive care unit were thrilled and happy because they could not comprehend that my brain was not damaged. Afterwards, I headed to the psychiatry department. I was afraid to speak about my experience at all because I did not want to receive some sort of “extra’ medication.” I first spoke of my experience after a few years with my younger sister and I tried to find other explanations than that of ending up in heaven. I think that I could have easily ended up in some space-time continuum. By this I do not want to put down religion, I have studied them and a few in some detail, including the Egyptian and Tibetan books of the dead. Quite the contrary, when I strip away the different names for god, the main thing that religion wants to tell us in essence is the same. And it is not strange at all that god, a piece of ourselves, we find in a different dimension.

I still want to mention that when the doctors were still lowering my chances for survival, my Roman Catholic grandmother had a mass said for me. Whether it helped at all, I do not know. I was also taken aback that I did not see my grandfather, a strong and wonderful person, who had died two years before. Later, I came to know that the people with whom I met were merely in the waiting room of the great light where the newly dead people and the Icelandic ponies were.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: duben 1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal There was unnecessary thoughts, telepathic thinking and conversations with others. I could transfer in space by a mere thought. I had the capability to comprehend “signals’ from the loving light.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? For the entire time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It was clear to me that during clinical death, it could have been tens of seconds or a few minutes, even though this experience seemed to last a lot longer.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Better color perception, I saw very well even without glasses even though I am near- sighted.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Considerably better.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The flight through the tunnel was tremendously quick. One could compare it to the speed of a rocket and perhaps even faster. Although, I perceived that the tunnel had a certain structure.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My dog, the Americans Joshua with his parents who allegedly died in a yacht accident, and three Icelandic horses.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was loving, forgiving, and very clear but not addressing me, which was a huge difference when I woke up in the intensive care unit and a light bulb was shining on me. The light bulb was so bright that it was literally cruel.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was very peculiar how light my body was, to speak to people telepathically, by thought to be able to transport myself in space, and everywhere around me was the warm light. As an atheist, I was very confused and surprised.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt unbelievable happiness and beauty, that I can only describe poorly.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I spoke with my younger sister a few years after my experience. I tried to find a different explanation other than going to heaven. I think that I could have landed in some other time-space continuum. By this, I don’t want to put down religion. I studied a few of them in some detail including the Egyptian and Tibetan books of the dead. Quite to the contrary, when I strip away the different names for god, the main thing that religion wants to tell us is in essence is the same. It is not strange at all that god, a piece of himself, we find in a different dimension.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I try to meditate. I very much like to read the books of the Dalai Lama; it is a caress for the soul.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths nejbližší je mi budhismus, ale i ostatní víry považuji za možné a neodsuzuji žádné náboženství. Podle mì "bùh" (já bych to spíš oznaèila jako láskyplnou energii) je jen jeden a kousek z nìho je v každém z nás. Tak jsem to pochopila BÌHEM svého zážitku

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Bylo velmi zvláštní, jak mám lehké tìlo, s lidmi mluvím telepaticky, myšlenkou se pøesunu v prostoru a všude kolem to høejivé svìtlo - jako ateistka jsem byla velmi velmi zmatená a pøekvapená

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have studied a lot of religious books and have gained a lot of knowledge and wisdom. I am not afraid of death and try, within the realm of possibility, to share my experiences with the people closest to me. I want to help them not to fear death and also that “great unbearable worries” on earth are absurd and irrelevant compared to the afterlife.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Myslím si, že jsem se klidnì mohla ocitnout v jiném èasoprostoru. Tím ovšem nechci deklasovat náboženství, studovala jsem jich podrobnì nìkolik, vèetnì egyptské a tibetské knihy mrtvých. Ba právì naopak - když si odmyslíme rùzné názvy pro Boha - to hlavn

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Pouze uvìdomìní, že bùh je urèitá energie a každý èlovìk v sobì má kus té energie

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain nevím, jak to pøesnì vyjádøit, ale tím, že mi bylo øeèeno, že mùj èas nenastal, vyplývá mi z toho, že každý má nìjaký trochu pøedem daný osud smysl a úèel - opravdu tìžko øíci, pøijde mi to jakoby duše - èást boha èi energie - je "vyslána" k pozemskému ž

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Prostì jsem to náhle vìdìla, okamžitì mi to došlo, bylo to jako bych se vrátila domù

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Ano, že je to to nejhlavnìjší a taky nejcennìjší, co mùžeme dát nebo dostat

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Even though I am not a Buddhist, Buddhism as a religion, seems more realisitc.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain Material things for me are less important. I want to spend more time with the people closest to me.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Kousek ode mì se pásli 3 konì. V životì jsem takové konì nevidìla. Velikostnì byli nìco mezi poníkem a dostihovým konìm, vzhledovì i když se v koních trochu vyznám, mi prostì nepøipomínali žádného "pozemského" konì. Dlouho jsem si myslela, že to byli nìjací "nebeští konì". Asi 10 let po tomto zážitku jsem jela na Island a uvidìla nìco, co mì šokovalo - ti konì byli islandští konì se všemi detaily, vše pøesnì odpovídalo.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? A little ways away from me were three horses who were pasturing. In life, I had never seen horses like these. The size was something between a pony and a race horse, even though by appearance I know horses a bit; however, no such heavenly horses like that had I ever seen. About ten years after this experience, I was in Iceland and I saw something that shocked me because the Icelandic horses were like the heavenly horses in every detail. After the second clinical death it was rather “a fleeting flight through the tunnel” . The light and the other peculiarities such as the incorporeal body and the telepathic ability were the same but I ended up in the courtyard of some French castle in the period around the 15th century and waiting for me a was girl. She stood under a window and pointed to a window from which she had jumped because of a unhappy love affair and killed herself. And she added, “Don’t you do it, it is still not your time. And I flew back, once again. I even spoke with the girl telepathically in a fluent language that I do not understand.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Eight years later, I confided to my younger sister. The story really intrigued and excited her, even the possible explanation that my soul landed in a different time-space continuum. I further confided in my psychologist and her reaction was also positive. Owing to the predominance of atheists in the Czech Republic, I really do not want to confide in anyone. Believers say that no proof is necessary.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Simply it was a completely clear reality, just like I am sitting at my desk and entering these answers into the keyboard.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Simply it was a completely clear reality, just like I am sitting at my desk and entering these answers into the keyboard.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It would interest me if physicists were able to give us proof about “that” world, like how it relates to a worm hole, the weight of a “soul” (Certainly, it could not weight more than a neutrino) and to catch its flight through a worm hole. Perhaps a lot of atheists would achieve another perspective on the world or perhaps stop the wars caused by religion. There is only one god despite many names.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No