Morgan M Probable NDE

Experience Description

I was 7 years old. My family and I had gone to my cousin's house to go swimming. While we were swimming, my 14 year-old cousin tripped and fell. My brother laughed at him. But I didn't realize that he had tripped and fallen. My cousin thought I had laughed at him, so he got angry with me and wanted revenge.

I went to dive off of the diving board and into the deep end of the pool. I decided to see how long I could hold my breath. Once I hit the water, I decided to stay in the deep end of the pool while I did it.

My cousin began swimming towards me after about a minute. After he reached me, he gripped onto my hair to keep me from pulling my head above water. He stood on the corner of the shallow end as I began to struggle. I was unable to find any way to get out of his grasp. The shock hit me so suddenly that I immediately started screaming underwater, letting out any air I had left in my lungs. Surprisingly, didn't hurt; I just felt a pressure building in my chest. Most of the pain I felt was from my cousin gripping onto my hair.

My vision was covered in the air bubbles releasing from my lungs. But when my lungs were empty, all I could see was white. I couldn't feel any part of my body because everything was numb. I focused on the white light, trying to make out any shapes or objects that I saw. But, all I could see was white. I felt relaxed and gave up trying to focus on going back to reality.

The next thing I know, a family member is pulling me out of the pool and my cousin is nowhere to be found. I began coughing up what felt like gallons of water. I felt pain and dizziness as my entire body felt weighted to the ground. Even though I was in pain, I couldn't cry or feel anything other than tired. I later learned that my cousin was sent to his dad's house after I was pulled out, but I couldn't remember seeing him. My family said I wouldn't even look at any of them until I began coughing up water and coming back to reality. I don't remember the rest of that day, but the out of body feeling I had and the image of pure white nothingness from that day is something I can't forget.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: August 2009

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drowning. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It felt as though all of my senses were suddenly heightened, and then my body went numb. I could feel and perceive everything that was happening to me. Then all of those feelings stopped.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Right when I started seeing the pure white void and started feeling my body going numb.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time felt as though it stopped altogether, and then the next thing I knew I was conscious again. The drowning itself felt very quick, but it had to have been at least a few minutes of being held underwater for me to lose consciousness.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision for a majority of the time was obscured by air bubbles, but once I only saw the white void, my vision was heightened as I tried to search for anything in it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was pretty normal, but once I started feeling my out of body experience, I couldn't hear anything until I was being pulled out of the water. I couldn't hear my own screaming.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes All I could see was pure white

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt panicked and then suddenly relaxed, as if a switch was activated and sent a jolt of relaxation throughout my entire body.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. Ever since then, it felt as though I had a heightened sense of consciousness. It felt as though I had been asleep for my whole life, and then after that I felt awake. I realized in my life that I have been able to come to conclusions about myself and who I am quicker than my peers. I know what I want to do with my life, I have a sense of purpose, and I think I am incredibly self-reflective. I am able to recognize my flaws quicker than most and I realized my sexuality, career path, and preferences for certain things in my life quicker than most of my friends or people I've met. I also think I've become more observant and introspective, becoming more fascinated with other people's experiences, theories of the universe itself, and how people cope with the inevitability of death.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was not devout, but I believed what my parents had told me about it. I had no strong opinion on religion, though

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I believe that my brain made me see a white light to reflect my desire to believe in the afterlife. But it also didn't show me any form or shape to reflect my doubt of an afterlife.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My religious beliefs changed after a few years, and I held life to a greater standard than I did previously and not wanting to take it for granted.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists Yes During my experience, I saw a white light, and at the time I believed it was heaven, or the beginning of heaven. However, after reflection and learning new things about the human brain, I am convinced that my brain made up false images of heaven to calm me down while I was dying. I have gone through different traumatic experiences throughout my life, not involving death, and each time there are moments where I can't remember the most unpleasant parts, or where my brain goes numb, like when I had my near death experience. I believe that because I believed in heaven at the time, my brain decided to show me visions of heaven and send pleasant chemicals throughout my body to comfort me while I was dying. I believe this because I cannot remember any unpleasant part of the experience, not even the pain, so I think my brain blocked out those moments to protect me and comfort me while I died. I know this is something the brain can do, and I am convinced that I saw a white light because my brain wanted to comfort me, but I didn't see any visions of God himself because I still doubted his existence at the time.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life. I became more aware of my surroundings and who I am as a person

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I barely remember anything before my experience, and I can hardly remember anything after it until the age of 12

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I find the part where I saw nothing but white very significant because it feels as though my brain didn't know how to comfort me during death, so it tried to show that heaven was both real and not real at the same time.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most people find it interesting, but can't glean whether or not what I saw was proof of an afterlife or not, so they feel pretty confused. I never hid my experience from anyone, and I was never sensitive to the topic, though the way I retell it is much different than when I first started telling people it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real because my family witnessed me being drowned, and confirmed that I seemed really calm and unresponsive until I began coughing up water, which is when I regained consciousness.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My family can still recall it and my story has stayed consistent when I ask about it with people I told when I was younger

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Obviously with my cousin, I cut off all connection with him and have not talked to him or his family since.