Murray P NDE

Experience Description

I was in a motorcycle accident on August 10, 1986, on a highway between Kamloops, British Columbia, and Merritt, British Columbia. I failed to negotiate a turn and crashed into the side of a mountain at approximately 119 miles per hour. It was above 90ºF. at the time. It occurred at 4:00 P.M.

In the ambulance, just before passing out, I heard one attendant say, 'You better step on it! I don't think he's going to make it.' I felt like I was experiencing a respiratory arrest at that time. Then I must have passed out.

I felt a floating in a darkness. A white light appeared to approach. As it neared, it became more intense and whiter. Then I was inside the light. It reminded me of a Swedish globe only much, much brighter, almost too bright to see and yet, it wasn't hurtful or unpleasant. On the contrary, I had the feeling of an intense love and acceptance and that everything would be all right. Next, I heard a very deep, majestic male voice ask, 'What have you done with your life?' I saw my life as a panorama while being able to see it in its entirety simultaneously. I didn't feel too good with what I saw. The voice, once again asked, 'What have you done with your life?' This time it sounded more stern and angry. All I could say was, 'Nothing.' At that point, I was no longer in the light, but rather I was floating in an upright position over a gently hilly landscape. I was barefoot and I could feel the short soft velvety grass brush the bottoms of my feet. It was very soothing. The grass was black and felt like velvet. The sky was a beautiful orange color and I could see the silhouette of trees against the sky. I came to a small log bridge with two small knolls. On my side was a man dressed in a dark suit (contemporary dress) and on the other side of the bridge was a man dressed in a white full length robe. He had long flowing silver hair that extended to the upper part of his back. He held a staff in his left hand and held up his right hand motioning for me to stop. He said, 'Go no further, you have much to do.' I knew that either I could choose to return to my body or I could cross the bridge. I knew, though, that it would be a mistake to cross the bridge. When I realized this, I felt myself falling (sliding) through a multi-colored tunnel that was spinning around me as I descended. I saw myself about ten feet above my body, my friend was holding my head, and saying, 'Come on back buddy, we can't lose you now.' I then regained consciousness in my body.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: August 10, 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Motorcycle accident with several severe injuries, including a compression fracture of the L2 vertebra and excessive blood loss. One foot was nearly severed. Later, in the hospital, I regained some degree of consciousness and asked a nurse who was taking a blood sample, what she was doing. She said she was taking blood tests to test the blood/gas level because I had lost an enormous amount of blood. I asked her how much and she said that they had to put 8 pints in to get me conscious.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm not sure of what you are asking. Physically, in a corporeal sense, I was completely out of it. However, my essence seemed to be extremely aware.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed that time ceased to exist and that unnatural phenomena were quite natural. In addition, these oddities did not seem out of the ordinary or of an unnatural realm at the time

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall any sounds other than the voices, which seemed to be telepathically communicated. There didn't seem like there was any need for any other sounds. For the most part, I was in an extreme state of euphoria.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes On my descent as stated in main narrative.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I did communicate with them but it seemed to be on a telepathic level. I didn't know any of the beings.

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A white light growing from a point to an all-encompassing bright white globe that I was in, totally surrounded and immersed as stated in main narrative.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

What emotions did you feel during the experience? However, I felt an intense love, fright, calmness and since great depression and distress whenever I think about this experience and, regrettably, I think of it too often. I can feel it depressing me as I write these lines.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that I had treated the people closest to me pretty badly. I think I am a more caring and generous person today. I know that my feelings of love toward my children and grandson seems extremely intense and when in a relationship, I seem to be more intensely in love than I was previous to this incident.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes For a while I adamantly defended the existence of God and an afterlife. My position on these points has since become more skeptical (?). It should be noted, as above stated, that this experience has caused severe distress for me, whether it was real or not. I am trying to deny its existence and the existence of an afterlife and God, as some unknown biological anomaly that will eventually be scientifically explained. Perhaps this dissonance is the cause of my distress -- I don't know.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was confused at first and didn't understand what had happened. The reality of the experience and the stimuli seemed too expansive (?), extensive (?) to describe.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was the feeling of love, acceptance and serenity. The worst part of it has been the living with it afterward and every day it seems to get worse.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My very close cousin and her husband. I believe they were affected by my experience, but I'm not sure. They may have just thought I was nuts. You would have to ask them.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Even though, at the time, this was a very deep positive experience for me, it has since become a curse for me.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I wish I could understand it myself. I know that the so called dead ones are the lucky ones, not us apparently living ones.