MVC NDE

Experience Description

I grew up in a rational family with educated parents. My middle-class parents were critical of all religions. I was raised with the belief that death is an eternal sleep without dreams. In my childhood, I was sexually abused by family members. As a result of this trauma, I needed child psychiatry. I was chronically depressed and suicidal. In spite of all the concern and love of the doctors and nurses, I failed to overcome my trauma. When I was seventeen, I cut a main artery on the inside of my elbow. Blood spurted out to the ceiling in rhythm with my heartbeat. I felt lucky that at last I would sleep for eternity; never having to feel pain again or ever being a bother to anyone in the world again. I sank away into a dark depth.

Suddenly, I saw a scene from above and in a corner of the ceiling. I saw a room full of blood with a girl lying on the bed. Upon entering the room, the nurse began to scream. I couldn't understand what the panic was about. Everything was good and I felt peaceful. The doctor came in and the girl was laid on a stretcher. They pushed it hurriedly through the halls of the hospital. I floated along, like a balloon above the stretcher.

The doctor stopped in the big hospital hall and asked himself if they should immediately go to the operating room. High in the hall shone a warm golden, yellow light. Slowly but surely, I was being sucked toward the light. The doctor gently struck my face and called my name. Then I realized then that the girl on the stretcher was me. I got super-excited saying to myself, 'I'm in death, this is death!' I couldn't bear the thought that people on Earth don't understand death and that we go on living but without a body. I wanted to tell all the people on Earth that death isn't death and that there is more. But I kept moving further from the Earth and toward the light. I looked towards the Earth and had compassion for all people. I felt sorrow for them, that they didn't know. That they were ignorant as they suffered and argued on earth.

Suddenly, I felt an emptiness and anxiety. I wondered where was I going once I was in the light? I began to panic and zoomed in to the ear of the doctor. I shouted from the depths of my soul, 'Help me, I don't want to die! Help me please!' That fraction of time of doubt near the doctor seemed like an eternity. I wanted him to save my life. I knew that once I was in the light, I would never be able to return to my body.I didn't want that, because my work on Earth was not finished. Although I didn't know what my work was or how I might complete it. Something very big was with me, understood me and brought me back.

Through this experience I became convinced that there is life after death. Unfortunately, I had not fully processed my trauma. After receiving child psychiatry, I continued receiving adult psychiatry. During this time, I had anorexia, took heroin, and prostituted myself. From a fellow patient, I became pregnant with twins. I felt I would not be a good mother for my children. I felt the emptiness again; I will go back into the Light so that the world will be better off without me. This time, I took an overdose of heroin and cocaine. I was found and paramedics began trying to reanimate me after a cardiac arrest.

With great speed, I was sucked downward into a dark void. The speed slowed and I became aware that this was because I was being resuscitation while going through a great mass of unfortunate, angry and mean souls. They wanted to keep me there. But each time my heart was resuscitated, with a hard shock I was back in my body. If they stopped resuscitation for even a few seconds, I was back in the dark void with the unfortunate souls. I kept thinking, 'Please don't stop resuscitating me.'

After waking up from this hellish experience during my coma, I turned my whole life around. This experience convinced me that the soul, after this life goes to a place I had earned by the things I had done during my life. I realized suddenly that this is my life and only I am responsible for how I handle things that come my way. I didn't always choose what comes my way, but I do choose how I deal with situations.

I immediately quit all medication, drugs, tobacco, self-mutilation, and the world of psychiatry. I began studying and went to work in the healthcare sector. I've been happily married now for sixteen years with a man who adopted my twins and together we had three more children. In concluding this story, I can say that I have reached my goal. I am fortunate and try to divide this good fortune to others. I can feel and spread unconditional love, because ultimately, all we take with us is what we have given.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1995

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. Suicide attempt. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could witness what people around me were doing. I could zoom in or zoom out on the world and all humanity. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. My sense of space and time were different. I felt freedom from all the material world. I also had a natural feeling of unconditional love for everything and everyone. I can only feel this through focused returning to experience at that moment.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Yes

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Both, I could also move faster and slower; zoom in and out.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see the whole world in its entirety without physical limitations. I could also zoom in by thinking of someone or something and then my 'soul eyes' would immediately look into it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear the people but they couldn't hear me. I heard the thoughts of others in my soul.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Dark tunnel

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes. It was a warm golden, yellow light

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I knew there was something behind the light. I saw a kind of hell.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I had feelings of peace, empathy, ecstasy, loneliness, and anxiety

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. Everything was one. We on earth are limited in omniscience because we are 'trapped' in a body that limits our soul's perception.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I was sent back, but I think it's because I wanted to go back myself.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. Each religion says the same: Care about the soul, love your loved ones as you love yourself. There is life after death.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I thought there would be nothing after death. I thought I would dissolve into an eternal sleep without dreams; just being nothing.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Before the experience, I didn't think about the existence of other worlds because it didn't seem useful. Afterwards, I became 'knowing'. I don't believe, I know and now I live it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. A presence planted in my head that I was not ready to go and that I had tasks to do. Later, when I wanted to stop smoking and doing drugs, but couldn't easily quit, a hazy, Female being in a green-veiled mist ( in the same intangible guise as during my near-death experience) said to me in my dream, ' When you wake up now, you will never want to smoke or use drugs again.' I woke up and never smoked or used drugs again. Although, I did have to be hospitalized for the physical withdrawal symptoms.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes My near-death experience

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain There was a supreme being, but not in hell. Although I believe that supreme being wanted to show me hell, as some kind of warning and so that I could change my life.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Love is most important.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes. By loving one another unconditionally, everyone and the rest of the universe will grow in love.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife does exist. My own soul (all who I am in thoughts and memories) continued to exist. There were also other beings like me who were souls without a body.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Take care of each other. Only what you give, you take with you to the afterlife.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Concerning the pain, suffering, war, and strife ... as long as we do not learn to love unconditionally, we will continue to wallow in suffering again and again. We only get out of this condition by distancing ourselves from the bad and choosing unconditional love again and again.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes My empathy was immense and natural. Now sometimes, I have to bring myself back in memories to the near-death experience in order to know how I experienced such empathy.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. For many generations, I have been the first believer in the family tree.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes If I had not experienced it myself, I never would have believed it. It is something that must be experienced yourself to fully understand.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Of course, I often revert to this experience to strengthen myself in difficult moments.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain. I pray and ask for help. Everything I ask for comes true.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything. The fact that I still existed. I still felt my body as something that was and yet was transparent.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I first told a nurse when I came out of coma. She was not very enthusiastic but said, 'That's possible, I've heard that before.' People don't believe it. I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't experienced. So I decided to shut up with everyone. I tell my husband and my children extensively. It is important to me that they understand the value of love. At work I share my experience with the terminally ill. They benefit a lot from that. Often they want to hear every detail repeatedly.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes