Myriam M NDE

Experience Description

I was 7 months pregnant, a gemellary pregnancy, when I was diagnosed with a severe preeclampsia (proteinuria 12g/24h). So I was hospitalized. Two days later, at 32 weeks of amenorrhea, I had to undergo an urgent Cesarean. Due to a fibroid, I had a massive hemorrhage of delivery (transfusion of 6CG and 6PFC plus filling of 2000ml).

I heard my first baby crying, they put it on my arm, then the second one, but I couldn't look at it as I felt big pain in my other arm, at the place of the perfusion. I heard the panic of the team for reanimation and surgery, 'she is bleeding, ask for a backing up team of surgery and reanimation, and go looking for blood'. Then I lost consciousness.

I felt my body sliding towards an intense light that I never saw before, white and of all rainbow colors at the same time, a beneficial light. I was also sliding towards a source of happiness, of intense love, such as I never had been feeling. I felt good, had no hurt anymore, my body was light as if I was floating, I was happy. I told myself that I should go there, let myself go towards this wonderful place, as if I deserved this, that I needed to let go. Then I started to think at my husband, my two babies, I saw them as silhouettes, and I realized that if I was letting myself sliding towards this place, I would die and leave my husband a widower and my children as motherless orphans. Then I decided to come back and I struggled, as if tearing myself away from something, this took me so much energy that it hurt, but I gave everything, I screamed and woke up.

I was in the surgical unit in a kind of heating plastic, I felt completely emptied. The medical staff seemed glad that I came to, then a lady said, 'Oh you are getting back some colors, that's good'. I myself was unable to reconnect to this world, I would like to say.

Then I was accepted in recovery unit for 48 hours, as I have a high blood pressure and a neurological irritability, which manifests by sudden reflexes together with visual trouble. At once I still had this impression to find myself between two worlds.

Once I was out of recovery and when I could see my babies, it was then that I started to reconnect.

However, following this I had a maternal exhaustion even a postpartum depression. I tell myself that maybe there's a connection, that I didn't assume this choice to come back, that it was too hard, too painful?

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 02/04/2012

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Life threatening event, but not clinical death See Description

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal On top of a perception at the maximum, I was capable to reflect about my state, my future, and to draw conclusions, then to take the decision to come back.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't really understand the question, as I lost consciousness. However, what I experienced seems so much more real than a simple dream. It seems to me that at no moment I was more lucid.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time passed as if I had been spending almost an hour in this experience, but I don't believe that I remained unconscious such a long time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was hazy due to this bright light, but, nevertheless, I knew that I saw as if knowledge was replacing my vision. On the other hand when I came back to consciousness in the surgical unit, I didn't see anything at all, everything was hazy, I was only perceiving forms, couldn't distinguish one nurse from the other.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No hearing perception during the experience. As if our senses of earth are useless in this other place, you have hyper-perception without our terrestrial senses.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Rather a gentle slope where my body was sliding, but there was a neat notion between the terrestrial world and this other world.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw the silhouettes of my husband and my two newborns. They were alive.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A beneficial, enveloping, unbelievably attractive light, as if the light was tangible, like a person. It was white, but of a white that doesn't exist on earth, and with shades of rainbow colors.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm About the light, and the feeling of intense happiness that emanated from it. Also, this feeling, this certitude of having crossed a border between two worlds.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? An intense happiness, peace, love, no bodily sensations like the weight of a hurting body

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes My sliding slope was the boundary between the two worlds, and the light was the beginning of the world that I don't know.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I thought about my husband, my two babies, I saw them as silhouettes, and I realized if I let myself slide towards this place, I would die and leave my husband a widower and my children motherless orphans. So I decided to come back and I struggled to do so, as if I had to tear myself away from something. This took so much energy that it hurt; but I gave everything. I screamed and awakened.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic J’ai eut une éducation religieuse chrétienne catholique, cependant je crois désormais seulement en une puissance supérieure plutôt bienfaisante que punifive. Et je crois a quelque chose après la mort.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic Desormais je suis sûr qu'il y a quelque chose après la mort.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed in something after death and I had the experience of this certitude. I believed in something beneficial, and this was the case. On the other hand, I believed in a tunnel and I got a gentle slope. I believed that we keep our terrestrial body, a little bit like ghosts, but we become light and have feelings.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain As if suddenly I knew like evidence, what I always knew, that this is the passage between the terrestrial life and the life after death.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life Changes that happened are that from now on I'm sure that there is a life after death.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes As it's about feeling, I'm sure that I didn't dream; however, I don't find the words to describe why. I don't have the words to explain how this light was, and this feeling of well-being which was similar to a being.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I find that this experience had the peculiarity not to fade with time, which is the case with most memories. Only the most remarkable events of my life are as precise and do not fade. On the other hand, the experience seems long, and I have no memories of the same length that did not change with time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? There is a life after death.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My husband, my family one or two days later. Without really getting reactions, as if it was normal or a dream and not to take into account.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Because the memory of this long moment I lived is not changing in time.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It is true. I never doubted it. My memory is intact, as if it was yesterday that I experienced it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No