Nanci D Possible NDE

 

"BACKWARDS: Returning to Our Source for Answers by Nanci Danison, JD You can read an abbreviated version of her NDE on NDERF Nanci D NDE. 'BACKWARDS relates the author's personal encounter with the being/entity we call God, even to the point of merging into its energy field. That degree of intimacy revealed that we are not separate individuals at all - our experience as such is an illusion and wonderful gift - but rather we are literally part of God's own self-awareness. That truth removes all doubt about the outcome of life and how it should be lived.'  

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Experience Description 9636:

There is a type of NDE that is rarely reported in the literature or on this website. I call it a 'meeting with Council' afterlife visit. It takes place in the afterlife just like other deep NDEs do, but the elements are very different. I have had two of these meetings. Natalie Sudman's book 'Applicaton of Impossible Things' describes her Council meeting in the afterlife. This is a description of my second Council meeting.

My second meeting with the Council of Light Beings occurred seven years after my full, deep, transcendental afterlife experience (in 1994). It was more dramatic and traumatic than my first one, where I was simply told to get started working my mission. During this one, in 2001, I once again returned to the afterlife to what appeared to be a hastily called gathering in the Light. The manifested Earth-like setting appeared more like a conference room than a formal hearing chamber. It was very ephemeral in appearance and had no solid defining walls or features. The Light Being members were settling into what might have been chairs around a crowded table when I arrived. Three Council members joined the group after I did, lending credence to my impression of spontaneity. Two of the last three Beings to enter displayed the faces of Nanci’s deceased biological parents for just a second before that illusion was replaced with their luminescent Light Being forms. My Earthly parents’ participation both thrilled and shocked me. Their human hosts had died years before this Council meeting, so I was excited to see their faces again even for a moment. I felt they had given me the wonderful gift of recognition to reassure me in advance of the meeting about to take place. The fact that my human parents were on my Council disturbed me, however, as I felt I had not respected their guidance as well as I should have while they were in the body. (I might have taken them more seriously had I known they were going to be on my Council!)

The last Council member to arrive was alive and in human form, projected a sense of rush, and remained in human appearance the whole time. He sat one check of his human body tush on the edge of the table right in front of me while I was several feet away from it. When I raised my gaze to his, he looked me straight in the eye and mouthed the word 'surprise!' And I was surprised! I recognized this Being as a still living human I know this life as Jeff, though I cannot recall now which Jeff. I have known several. An alarm went off in my mind seeing someone from my human life, as if some emergency had triggered a recall of even undercover agents.

This second Council meeting was brief and to the point. The Light Beings told me telepathically that extremely difficult times lay ahead—-times that would cause me grave suffering. The Council acknowledged my body’s illness and weakened condition, intimating my human might not have sufficient strength to recover. The Council gave me the option of staying in human life, or remaining in the afterlife right then to avoid the suffering. They made it clear that if I chose to leave human life, it would not be considered a breach of contract on my part. (I had assigned myself the mission of telling people what I experienced in the afterlife after I returned to the body in 1994. That was the contract they were relieving me from performing.) If I stayed in my human host, they said, I must endure constant suffering for the rest of her life. Despite what they told me about my future, I chose to stay in human form. My motivation at the time was that I did not want to miss witnessing what is going to happen in Earth’s future, all of which was shown to me during my 1994 afterlife experience. More importantly, I did not want to be a failure at the mission Source gave me to tell everyone what I had experienced and learned in the afterlife in 1994. I felt a duty to my fellow souls incarnated into humans to give them that information and I love them enough to stay and do it.

When I awoke again inside Nanci immediately after making the decision to stay, I was certain the meeting had taken place. Yet the amnesia of human nature robbed me of the memory of whether the choice I had made was between suffering for the rest of Nanci's life, or, living through the most severe part of the transition in epochs (which I saw in the vision of Earth's future during my 1994 experience). All I know for certain is that my choice was to “go through with it.” The “it” part is now clear because Nanci and I have suffered greatly, physically and emotionally, since then.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2001

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I had extremely low blood sodium levels, causing convulsions. I was enough better after I died and went into the afterlife and came back to dial 911. I was in the hospital for 3 days.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Everything in the afterlife is a zillion times more real than anything in human life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All of it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. We see with our minds in the afterlife, not eyes. Human eyes restrict our vision.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was nothing to hear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw the faces of Nanci's deceased parents for a couple of seconds before their appearances reverted back to just Light Being appearance. I also saw a living friend named Jeff.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, ecstasy, thrilled to see Nanci's deceased biological parents, concern about the meeting, surprise at seeing a living human in the afterlife, shame, guilt, a sense of duty, resignation.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life See narrative.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated I was Roman Catholic before my first afterlife visit in 1994 but have been spiritual but not religious since then.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated See above.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was aware of such Council meetings because I had had one before this. I haven't submitted an account of it because I don't remember much.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There were maybe a dozen Light Beings at this Council meeting, all speaking to me telepathically.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I had special knowledge of Nanci's future.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes My purpose is to tell anyone who will listen what I experienced and learned in the afterlife during my 1994 transcendental afterlife experience.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I already knew this from my 1994 afterlife experience. At this Council meeting, the Light Beings informed me that I could stay in the afterlife, which confirms that there is continued existence after the end of earthly life.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was told that if I stayed incarnated into Nanci that I would suffer greatly for the rest of her life.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I have suffered greatly, just as the Light Beings said I would if I chose to come back to human life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember everything in detail -- although the scene was not in any way detailed -- except exactly what I agreed to.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing the appearances of Nanci's deceased parents, even though it was just for a couple of seconds. I had missed them greatly and still do. So it was nice to have those few moments with them.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I don't remember.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had my first NDE in 1994 and have had many since then.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The facts were later verified by medical personnel and life experience since then.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real See above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Some afterlife experiencers accept a mission to perform back in human life and their progress is monitored by a Council of Light Beings. There were different Light Beings present during my two council meetings. I think people should be made aware that this is a type of NDE that is rarely reported. A good example of this type of NDE is Natalie Sudman's book 'Application of Impossible Things' and Ron K's report on this site.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? My interest is in what happens during crossing over and entering the afterlife, not the impact the experience has on human life. I would delete a lot of the questions about the impact and replace them with questions seeking information about the non-human events that occur and the Knowings one acquires in the afterlife.

Experience Description 9232:

There is a subcategory of NDE that I call 'the council meeting.' Natalie Sudman describes hers in her book 'Application of Impossible Things.' This account details my second meeting with my council following my transcendental, full-length NDE in 1994. In this subcategory of NDE, the typical elements of a tunnel, going into the Light, and other elements may be missing and the soul may go directly before the council.

Earlier in the day I had been in the Emergency Room with a splitting headache that resisted my efforts at treatment. I do not have migraine headaches, but that is what I was treated for and released.

Later in the evening, I experienced mini seizures or body-wide tremors with nausea, chills, and a general feeling of being sick for hours. I had no idea what caused these symptoms, but I was bed-ridden with them. I could barely stand up because I was so weak. My efforts to stop the tremors were useless. I kept trying to sleep it off, but turning from side-to-side in bed made me more nauseous.

At some point I left my body and went into the afterlife. I went directly to a meeting with a group of Light Beings who were on the Council of Light Beings monitoring the mission I had accepted at the end of my full-length NDE in 1994. The luminous Beings were hastily sitting down around a typical rectangular wood conference table, which I knew to be a manifestation for my benefit. The room itself was only partially visually detailed. As I waited at the end of one side of the conference table, I saw my parents come in. For just a second or two they donned the human appearance of my body's mother and father to greet me, and then resumed their luminous Light Being appearance. They had both died years before, so I was thrilled to see them again. Then, I had the thought that if I had known they were important enough to be on my council while they were alive, I would have treated them with more respect. The last to arrive was in full human form and dress. I was surprised that a human could attend a spiritual meeting like that. He sat with one haunch up on the end of the table and looked me right in the eyes, and mouthed the word 'surprise!' And I was surprised. I recognized him from my current life! He was Jeff, though after I returned to the body I could not remember which Jeff (I knew several). My thought was: 'Holy cow! I must really be in trouble if they called in the field agents.'

The Council told me that Nanci was dying and I had a choice to make. I could come home and stay, and I would not be considered in breach of contract for failing to perform my mission. Or I could return to Nanci. They warned me that if I returned to Nanci's body she and I would suffer for the rest of her natural life. They did not specify the suffering, but I understood some of it would be illnesses. I felt terrible that I had not fulfilled my mission. It was a matter of honor to me to keep my word, and not be a quitter. So I chose to return to Nanci's body. And we did suffer together for decades afterwards.

Once I returned to the body, I felt the need to get out of bed. I walked through the dining room to the kitchen, but had projectile vomiting in the dining room that spread out several feet. I knew that was a bad sign of serious illness and decided I needed to go back to the Emergency Room. Before I called 911, however, I got a mop and mopped up the vomit so that the acid in it would not eat through the finish on the wood floor. I got dressed and called 911.

By the time I got to the ER, I could feel that I was pulling out of the body again. I could barely make Nanci's mouth move in order to tell the doctor my symptoms. I told him about that sensation as well as about my earlier ER visit. He ordered blood tests and an MRI. When I was rolled on a gurney to the MRI room, I had to wait outside the room for another patient's test to finish. Nanci's body was lying flat on the gurney, but I sat up out of the body while remaining inside the hips and legs. I looked around the hallways on both sides and noticed a doctor running. I could see him through the walls of the hallway as though they were not even there. He ran up to me with an infusion bag and IV kit and started the IV. He told me that my blood sodium level was so low that I could die. (I thought, yeah, been there, done that.) I was admitted to the hospital for two days to bring my blood sodium level slowly up to normal.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I was before the Council of Light Beings

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I know from this and my earlier NDEs that the consciousness we experience while incarnated into humans is very limited in comparison with what we have in the afterlife.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was losing vision while in the body, so my vision in the afterlife was clearer and crisper.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no hearing involved. Communication in the afterlife is telepathic.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Yes While I was in the hospital after the NDE waiting to go into the MRI room, I raised up out of my body and saw through hallway walls that the ER doctor was running toward me. That was verified by the fact that he showed up at my side.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? A little fear because it felt like the council meeting was called hastily, like for an emergency, and I was concerned about what that meant for Nanci's life. I felt joy at seeing my parents again. I felt resolve when I decided to return to Nanci.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I saw that there were several Light Beings on my council monitoring my mission.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Nanci's human parents. Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I could tell I was in the afterlife from the presence of the Light Beings, the content of the meeting, and my previous experience with NDEs.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I was told, and could see, that Nanci and I would endure years of suffering.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes The fact that I had been in earthly life, returned to the afterlife for the council meeting, and had the option of going back to earthly life proves to me that there is life after death.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? Yes My own purpose was to fulfill the mission I accepted at the end of my 1994 transcendental NDE, which was to tell anyone who would listen what I had experienced and learned in the afterlife. The Council of Light Beings was monitoring my progress and trying to keep me on track. This was my second meeting with them.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? Yes I was told that if I chose to return to Nanci's body we would both suffer for the rest of her natural life.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? No

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? Yes I became aware that those souls who have a mission to fulfill are monitored by a council of Light Beings so that they don't wander too far off track. Other souls that do not have a mission are not monitored. A soul can tell whether it does or does not have a mission if during an NDE it comes before some type of group of beings and the soul feels like that group is passing judgment.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes I knew my purpose was to tell anyone who would listen what I had experienced and learned during my 1994 full-length NDE.

What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience My beliefs had already been completely changed by my 1994 NDE. This experience was consistent with those new beliefs.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: None. My life changing NDE was in 1994, seven years before this one.

My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I put a short description in my book published in 2009, eight years after the experience. I do not recall any response specific to this particular NDE.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had a full-length transcendental NDE in 1994.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I had a prior meeting with my Council of Light Beings a few months after my 1994 NDE.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I believe this subcategory of NDE deserves some research attention. From what I have read, it seems to have its own set of common elements that differ from those where the soul crosses over due to death.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? No The questions are geared to the common elements of the just died type of NDE and do not fit the meeting with council type of NDE as well.


Experience Description 5458

© Nanci L. Danison 2007 All rights reserved.

My near-death experience was unlike any I have ever read about. It was far more intellectual: filled with 'knowings', understandings about the 'truths' of the universe, and insights. And I delved deeper into life after death than I had thought possible in an NDE, ultimately evolving through higher levels of existence beyond anything I had ever dreamed possible.

My body's death on March 14, 1994, was occasioned by some type of reaction to a needle-localization procedure designed to show my surgeon where to cut to remove three potentially cancerous lesions in my breast. The procedure had taken much longer than expected, and had to be repeated in order to get the wire marker deep enough into the breast tissue. It was painful, and emotionally traumatic for my body. I was alone when I died, because the radiologist and radiology technician both left me to perform other tasks, including getting their eighth set of mammography films developed.

The early stages of the NDE were fairly standard: I left my body, went into the Light, experienced overwhelming unconditional love, peace, joy, and acceptance, met Beings of Light, and had a life review. What was dramatically different about my NDE was what I learned during these stages, as well as what happened to me during and after the life review.

When I first entered the Light, I saw nothing but Light, heard nothing, and smelled nothing. I was alone with my own thoughts. Those thoughts, however, were dramatic revelations. Chief among them was the realization that I am not a human being; that what I had been calling my soul is in fact who I really am. And who I really am - is not human, but rather a separately existing spiritual being who only inhabited a human animal's body. Moreover, the human animal I had inhabited has her own life, thoughts, emotions, and personality, and is perfectly capable of living out the rest of her lifetime without me inside.

Many more 'knowings' invaded my mind while I was in the Light, filling me instantly not only with knowledge in the academic sense, but also with the deep understanding that only personal experience can give. I 'experienced' these truths as deeply as though I had lived them. One of the topics deposited into my mind was about how time does not exist in the universe at large, but only for beings that mark time, like humans do, by measuring intervals of experience.

At one point, I observed my body, still sitting in the chair in the radiology department mammography suite, at a distance below and behind me. I saw it out of the back of where a head would be on a human body (like having eyes in the back of my head). Seeing it, and feeling no attachment whatsoever to it, made me question for the first time whether I had died. To myself I said: 'Nah, I can't be dead. I didn't go through a tunnel into the Light, and I'm definitely in the Light.' Immediately I was surrounded by an earthen works tunnel in vivid, vibrant color and detail, with the proverbial light at the end. Though the tunnel was just as real as anything I have experienced on Earth, I knew that I was not in a tunnel. So I wasn't fooled by its appearance. Upon realizing that I wasn't 'fooled,' a flood of 'knowings' about manifesting reality inundated my mind. I realized that we all constantly manifest what we call physical reality just by virtue of our thoughts, and that the only reason we are fooled into believing it is real is because of the limitations of human senses. You can imagine how flabbergasted I was by this information, and why I was not inclined to believe it. So I experimented with consciously manifesting some more to test its truth. I proved to myself that we do indeed have the ability to manifest what humans perceive to be physical reality by focusing our attention and intention on doing so.

After I realized I was dead, I looked outward again for the Light, for at this point I was back to the belief that we must go into the Light to enter the afterlife. I had forgotten that I was already in the Light because the strength of my belief system overpowered my sense of where I was. I then saw five Lights of different hues in the distance. I thought to myself: 'Oh this figures, I'm supposed to go into the Light and I get five of them and have to choose the right one.' A voice not my own entered my mind with the words: 'Just pick one and follow it.' I instantly understood that they all led to the same destination - the Source of our universe. As I looked again at the Lights, five Beings of Light appeared to have come forward from within them. I recognized these Light Beings as my most cherished and beloved friends and soul mates, and knew for certain that I too am a Being of Light, and that I was HOME. These friends communicated with me by mental telepathy, and primarily in emotions. Their emotions could be interpreted into English as: 'Welcome home.' 'We ran ahead of the 'rest of us' because we couldn't wait to see you.' 'Tell us everything [about human life].' And, of course, they communicated intense unconditional love, joy at seeing me, and acceptance of and curiosity about my adventure into human life. My sense was that they were extremely anxious to observe my life as Nanci. In response, I replayed every single second of Nanci's life events and sensory input all at once for them, not for myself. These Light Beings actually entered into my life events, as me or others around me, and lived those events as though they were actually me doing it. I thought it odd at the time, but later learned how normal this is at higher evolutionary stages.

While my friends enjoyed my life review, memories of my eternal life filled my mind. They included hundreds of physical lifetimes, in humans and other species, as well as thousands of what we would call years spent living in what I was calling 'Light Being society,' and what might also be called 'life between lives.' I was astounded that I could possibly have forgotten all of it. 'Knowing' informed me that when a Light Being like me enters into a human as its soul, only part of its total Energy does so. The rest of the Being's Energy stays in the Light and continues to evolve as it observes the soul part's experiences. The reintegration of my memories as an eternal being with those of my just passed human life completed my transformation back into my natural state as a Being of Light.

Soon, I realized that I had access to all of the knowledge of the universe (what I call Universal Knowledge) just by focusing my attention and intention on what I wanted to know. My thought processing was accelerated so greatly that I was able to absorb phenomenal amounts of information instantly. I wanted to know the answers to all my most pressing spiritual questions. So I searched Universal Knowledge for the answers to: what is Source/God? What am I? How was the universe created? Why? What is the purpose of life? Of life as a human? What does source expect of me while in human form? Where is heaven? Hell? What is the correct religion? The answers fill my first book, Backwards: Returning to Our Source for Answers. Upon receiving 'knowing' on all these topics I was very upset that no one had told me before how simple life and death are. I wanted to know why religion had failed me in this regard. In response, a 'documentary' of the development of religion among humans over the course of three Earth epochs, the third of which constitutes mankind's future, played out in my mind. My manuscript entitled Backwards Beliefs sets forth what I remember of this documentary.

After receiving my fill from Universal Knowledge, I realized that I could enter into my Light Being friends and live their eternal lives as they had just done my life as Nanci. So I merged my Energy into theirs as we formed a collective being of six. I could at one and the same time experience myself as the personality I had always known as 'myself,' as well as experiencing one of my friend's lives as though I were my friend. Or I could experience what it was like to be a collective being. I understood at the time that living in this manner was an evolutionary stage beyond that of Light Beings, whose lives we would perceive to be as discrete, individual beings with spiritual bodies. At this stage of awareness there was no 'beingness' - only a mental or conscious existence.

Ultimately, my soul mates and I decided as a collective being to rejoin 'the rest of us.' I understood this English term to mean the Source of creation, the entity humans call 'God.' For the first time during the NDE I experienced movement similar to how we feel it as humans. Up until this point, everything seemed to transpire within my own mind. But now our merged entity of six seemed to move forward deeper and deeper into the Light to rejoin Source's core. As we neared it, I understood more and more about the universe and our place within it, as well as my own nature as part of Source. It became excruciatingly clear to me that the whole of our universe transpires exclusively within the mind of Source. There is only one being in our universe - Source. All things that we perceive as physical reality are really thoughts manifested by Source within its own Energy field. And, most importantly, none of it ever leaves the Source. So, I intimately experienced the 'knowing' that I am literally part of Source's thoughts, and the illusion that I am separate from it is a gift from Source to itself in order that Source might fully explore its own personality and creativity.

Sometime during this process, I decided that I 'could do it better.' I could live Nanci's life better and give back to the experience more than I had before I died. And, I passionately wanted to share with my fellow Light Beings in soul form the truth of who we really are, and the simplicity of life as part of Source. These emotions apparently impelled my return to the body in a traumatic process of leaving the Light. But as I whirl winded back into human flesh I did my best to remember as much as I could so that I might share it with others in my books.

Background Information:

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes I had either a severe vaso-vagal response or an anaphylactic reaction to a local anesthetic.

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My normal alertness level while in the body feels like I'm stuffed into a too-tight wetsuit made of cold, hard, clay, in comparison to that experienced during my NDE. I feel dull of intellect and slow in thinking and responding. As we used to say when I was a kid: 'I couldn't think my way out of a paper bag' with this level of alertness.

My normal level of consciousness while awake, not including meditation states, is one tiny little slice of the consciousness I experienced during the NDE. It feels like I have forgotten who I really am. More importantly, the level of consciousness we experience while in the body operates at such a slow vibration that we actually perceive human life as reality, which I now understand is an illusion.

Also see answers to questions three and four.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I have to answer that in two parts. First, my level of alertness did not change after it expanded dramatically once I was thoroughly infused with the Light. Second, my level of consciousness continued to evolve through higher and more expansive levels until I was about to fully merge into Source/God. At that point, I felt as though I had the same level of consciousness as Source/God, which is the level of awareness/vibration necessary in order to merge directly into it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Shortly after I entered the Light I was bombarded with 'knowings' on all sorts of topics. One of them was about the human concept of time and how it does not actually exist outside the human experience of it. As I understand it, once we resume our natural state as a spiritual being, time and space no longer exist. I did note that huge amounts of what we would call 'time' transpired during my NDE - far exceeding the amount of Earth time that I was dead. In other words, the length of time a person is absent from the body has no correlation to how much can happen in the 'afterlife.'

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? When I first entered the Light I did a medical 'review of systems' (review of the status of all human physical parameters) to try to diagnose what had happened to me (e.g., did I faint, hallucinate, etc.). At that time, I had the sensation that I could 'see,' as we do in human form, in a 360-degree field of vision. Later, when I met Beings of Light, I could still perceive colors, brightness, and depth as I did while in human form, but the intensity was dramatically enhanced as compared to human vision. After I completed the transformation into a Being of Light myself, the human perception of sight dissolved. As I understand it, the sensation of vision is part of the human experience, the effects of which wear off once you make the transition to higher levels of consciousness in the Light.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I only experienced 'hearing,' in the human sense, once during my NDE. That was when I was consciously manifesting physical Earthly environments. At those times, I could hear what I would expect to hear in human form. There were no other audible sounds during the rest of my NDE.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes No, not to get into the Light. However, I must have been aware of the tunnel concept before I died, because I actually thought to myself, after I saw my body at some distance away from and below me: 'Wait a minute! I can't be dead 'cause I didn't go through a tunnel into the Light and I'm definitely in the Light.' That thought alone was sufficient to 'manifest' the Earthly environment of a tunnel with me inside it. The tunnel felt as real as anything on Earth did, but I was not fooled into believing it was real because I knew for a fact that I was not in a tunnel. 'Manifesting' is the word that popped into my mind as the explanation for the phenomenon of creating what humans perceive as physical reality just by thinking it. I subsequently manifested other Earthly environments to test the validity of that 'knowing.'

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met five beings that I mentally called Beings of Energy, or Beings of Light, as they are more frequently called. I recognized these Beings of Light as my closest, dearest, most beloved friends - my soul mates. I knew none of them during this human lifetime. They were my eternal closest friends.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Saw it. Felt it. Was completely infused with it and the love, acceptance, joy, and peace that come with it. And, I lived in the Light for a long while as I evolved into higher and higher forms of existence.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The only 'locations,' in the physical sense, that I visited were those I consciously manifested myself. I did, however, evolve through numerous 'levels' of awareness/consciousness/beingness until I was no longer a being at all. Nothing was identified to me as a 'dimension.'

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I experienced the full range of human emotions - except fear. In fact, I was surprised by the fact that I could still feel anger, disappointment, indignation, and other so-called 'negative' emotions. I had always assumed they would not be possible in the afterlife.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I did have a life review of this human lifetime, but it was apparently conducted more for the entertainment of my Being of Light friends than for my own benefit. I also recaptured all my memories of all the hundreds of other physical lifetimes I had enjoyed, as well as life in the Light between physical lives.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was so surprised that my experience was nothing like what my religious training had led me to expect that I accessed Universal Knowledge on the subject. What I got was sort of like a documentary of the development of religion on Earth, which documentary included the future. I only remember a few things about the future because I didn't care - I wasn't coming back here! It was later that I decided to return to human life. Then I desperately tried to remember as much of the future as I could while I was being sucked back into the body.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes As a result of viewing the history of religion on Earth, and accessing Universal Knowledge about life and death, I can no longer subscribe to any religion's tenets.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes As a result of viewing the history of religion on Earth, and accessing Universal Knowledge about life and death, I can no longer subscribe to any religion's tenets.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes All the above. It was my understanding that I had total access to the universal database I call Universal Knowledge. In addition, once I began merging into Source/God, I was imbued with a complete understanding of the universe and the purpose of life. Most of my first book is devoted to this information.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I left my law firm specifically because of the changes in me attributable to the NDE. And, I now have more NDEr friends because they are the only ones who truly understand me and what I have been through.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No The greatest gift I have been given by this experience is the ability to express much of it in words, often through analogies. I believe one of the reasons I personally had this experience is because I am an attorney, and have used words to communicate difficult concepts and emotions as part of my work.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes One gift is the ability to write books in words given to me while I sleep (and which I have to type out before I'm awake enough to loose them). There are others as well.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was all so incredibly significant and meaningful. It literally changed my life, both here on Earth and in my eternal evolution. The part that still makes me cry after thirteen years is having been on the verge of total merger back into Source/God, and understanding fully that I do not exist as a being separate and apart from Source, and being allowed to make the decision to stop the process and return to Earth in order to share what I could remember with others, who, like me, have been struggling with understanding life. The depth of Source's love, and understanding, and willingness to allow me to continue the illusion of separation, astounds me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS) groups and at two Universal Light Expos. Also it appears in Part III of my first book, 'Backwards: Returning to Source for Answers'.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was convinced that it was real - more real than anything I had ever experienced in the body. But my doctors told me I had hallucinated it all. I wrote the first draft of my NDE story in 1994 to show to my doctors to try to get some understanding of what had happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It is my understanding that what transpired during my NDE is the 'real' reality. Life as a human is more like a dream, role in a play, virtual reality game, character in a drama, etc. though these words fall far short of actual explanation. It is further my understanding that all Beings of Light who are serving as souls to human animals will have some or all of the same experiences I did when the human dies, depending upon the individual's evolutionary level.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I have had spontaneous memories of individual events from the NDE, a second life review, two meetings with my council of Light Being advisors, and snippets of memories of other lives. I do not use mind-altering medication or substances. In fact, like many NDErs, I do not tolerate chemicals, especially drugs, very well.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is far too much to cover here. I suggest that anyone who is interested in more detail should read my books, the first one of which will be published in October 2007 and the other three over the next three years.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? While I understand that the mechanics of an NDE are of interest to scientists, I believe the 'knowings' NDErs gain are far more important for a non-scientist. I would hope that in the future you would include questions to elicit what NDErs learned about the purpose of life, who God is, who we are, how the universe was created, etc.