Experience Description

I died when I was little, but can't accurately remember how old I was. I might have been 8 or 9 years old. I do remember that I was in grade 2.

It was an accident. My brother and sister put a pillow over my face and smothered me. They didn't see it as bad. At the time, they were trying to stop me from winning a game.

I remember clearly and I felt in such peace. I was suspended on the ceiling, which seemed higher than the actual ceiling. I watched them below and realised that I better go back because they might get in trouble if I didn't do so. I did wonder if I should stay, but decided to go back.

I sat up and told them what happened. They never believed me and nor does anyone I tell to this day.

Since that day a lot of strange things happened.

I am at peace with all the horrific things that have happened to me since this experience. I have this strange understanding that it's all for me to grow as a spirit, to learn what I can, and teach others in a non-direct way. For example, I feel I need to guide and teach people about good because when they come back and they've been evil, a long and scary life awaits until they learn how to be spiritual.

I am now 52 and although I still struggle emotionally and spiritually, I am consciously aware that I have purpose. I know there are spirits around us. I know about making a white bright light protection bubble around myself and those I love.

I didn't go to 'another place' when I died. But I know I was dead and I knew of the other place, the real place. I chose to come back by myself. Although nobody can confirm that I died, I know I did.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1975

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Accident Other I died and then came back on my own

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard my siblings panicking. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was 'older' and 'wiser' during the experience but a child again when I got back. Our bodies are vehicles.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Immediately when I died. I knew about all that was around me and I remember it vividly but forget parts of my childhood

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There is no real time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Before my experience I was an ignorant child. During the experience I was mature, but I couldn't tell how mature because there is no time.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear everything. My siblings panicked when they lifted the pillow and that's when I went back so they wouldnt get into trouble.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It felt like if I stayed, I would go 'home'

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, calm, love. I wanted to stay.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. There is no such thing as universe or multiverse etc. At the time I felt I understood. I had to go back and I had to complete some kind of mission. I am still not sure what it is

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No. I lived before in different bodies

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future. I saw myself as a teacher. I am not a trained teacher but I enjoy giving lessons, helping and guiding others.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I wanted to stay, but decided I better go back and finish what I must do. I also knew that my siblings would get into trouble if I didn't go back and I didn't want them to be upset or get into trouble

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know. I had no religious beliefs at all

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I'm often in communication with my spirit self and I'm always aware that those who have passed may be nearby, whether they know me or not. Also I am often aware that I have timely help from spiritual realms

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I believe in the Source

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I knew about religions etc. but was not even surprised that I was aware there is actually no real religion. There is the source who is part of us, there is love and that is all you need.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Despite being abused, being bullied, being poor and struggling, I believed and still believe I am not fully alone and I am protected and loved

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I've existed many lifetimes, too many to detail.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I don't recall anything like that, but feel there is some connection between some people but not all people.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There is a 'Source' and it exists aside and among us, with us. The source can be reached through discussion in your mind or verbally or just through emotions

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew I had to go back and chose to go back. I know I need to learn everything I can and share what I learn.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I had to go through experiences (unknown at the time) to find something I need. I cannot say what it is or if I have found it or what it is

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists We live forever. Our spirit/soul/essence lives on forever as we gain experiences that feed our spirit/soul/essence. Time isnt really there and we are all special and amazing and learning always.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We are all here temporary and if we don't get what we need spiritually, we will be back in one form or another

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt warm and enveloped by what can only be described as the purest love

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Many hardships which resulted in me being confused but confident, caring, compassionate, wanting to help, believing people are more wonderful and special than they know. I have recently become vegan and I believe it's the right thing. We should not harm. We should love

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I remained loving throughout all abuses. I realize nothing lasts forever and people don't mean to be jerks.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Not anyone believed me and people still have problems believing me today. I was made fun of

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Like it just happened

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I'm extremely perceptive and sometimes even prophetic

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I wasnt aware of any body parts. I was a thought, or idea or spirit

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not a single person took me seriously and I've been made fun of

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I knew it was real and tried to tell my family but everyone made fun of me and said I was lying

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It was as real as me filling in this form

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No thank you

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Simplify your questions. Don't use red and green - it is distracting. Keep your explanations short, I skipped over the long ones. Other than that, its fine. Again, good to tell someone