Nicholas G NDE

Experience Description

To preface this story, I have Pulmonary Fibrosis. This is a terminal condition that has compromised my lungs, leaving me with 40% lung capacity. I get short of breath easily and suffer hypoxemia often. I have had the below experience 4 times now in the last two weeks under similar circumstances. However, the instance I will describe here is the one with the most profound dream experience. On the night in question, I fell asleep and started dreaming. Within a few minutes things took a very dark turn.

Before I realize it, I’m suffocating in my dream. In actuality, my nose had almost completely clogged up. My mouth failed to open up. As a result, I was suffocating.

Since it started as a dream, I couldn’t tell that I really was having a problem. I had incorporated the suffocation into my dream. Meanwhile, internally, I’m having a terrible time where I was trying to flag the dream people down to inform them that I needed help as I was having a hard time breathing. The most notable aspect of the dream portion of the experience was that the more my body shut down physically; the more the color systematically drained out of the dream landscape until it dawned on me that everything had turned an ashen grey color. My thought processes also started to slow significantly, until I simply couldn’t think anymore. This all took place in what felt like about 2 minutes.

Everything in the dream quite literally froze in place like a grey snapshot that felt as completely dead and lifeless as I did. Dying was as mercifully brief as it was horrific.

I suddenly realize that I had a sudden, gentle urge to look upwards at the sky. The sky was the only thing that contained any color. It was a nice bright blue. The moment I turned my gaze upwards, four things happened. I became lucid and could suddenly think clearly. I felt alive again. The dead dream landscape faded. And my human personality and ego ‘switched off’ like a light bulb; leaving me free to fully embrace myself as spirit.

The tunnel had formed over my head, drawing me into it at a high rate of speed. The only thing I focused on was the light and God. I kept repeating “God, God, God” to focus my thoughts as I traveled. The tunnel walls were pure black with a beautiful gold light pulsating through and encircling the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel was a brilliant, golden light. As I began to travel through the tunnel, I came to the realization that my body was nearing its end. Although I was still strongly aware of my body and its dire situation, I resolved to continue through the tunnel to the end of it.

Since I had experienced this scenario on two other occasions the prior week, I now felt like an old pro with regards to the tunnel. The thought occurred to me that there were only two reasons I would be going through it; rather I was already dead, or the body was currently engaged in the death process and was not long for the world. Either way, I felt as though I needed to complete the journey with all possible speed as I had no intention of needlessly hanging around earth's astral plane. The further I flew through the astral plane, the more I lost awareness of the body. I felt nothing but dread in the last moments of the dream. Yet, in the tunnel, I felt the complete opposite. I was happy and content. The flight through the tunnel was what I would describe as entirely pleasant.

I did have the dim awareness of the body, lightly flailing around back in my bedroom. I concluded it was essentially a husk and I needn’t pay it any mind. I had hoped that it would stop struggling, so I could be free. After all, ‘I’ wasn’t having any problems. ‘I’ didn’t need to breathe as that was a problem the body had to deal with, not ‘me’.

The further I went through the tunnel, the more my senses and thought processes cleared, reaching maximum clarity at the end. There was an overwhelming feeling that I was finally going home. I half expected to sail right through the light to the other side. Instead, I was instantly stopped just before entering it. It was a huge wall of golden light that looked 500 feet tall and was just as wide. It was impossible to ignore as there was nothing but complete blackness everywhere else. I knew it as the void. This was a point of no return; I knew definitively that if I passed through the veil that this body would expire immediately. There was no going back after this. For the moment, I was still attached to it. I remember thinking that it would be a shame to arbitrarily relinquish an otherwise marginally serviceable body when there’s no compelling reason to do so. Yet, I wanted to go through the veil in the worst way. I could sense an almost indescribable feeling of goodwill and Happiness coming from the other side. I also felt a massive surge of feeling explaining to me that the spirit world is a very happening place. I felt many friendly souls were just beyond the veil. Most of the things I felt were beyond description.

Be that as it may, I felt I would not only be shirking my duty to this form; but offending God by making the decision to leave the world prematurely. It struck me as the height of irresponsibility to do so. As painful as it was to leave the light, I chose to return to the world. I woke up for all of 10 seconds, and promptly fell back asleep.

Again, I found myself in the same position. My nose was still clogged, and I hadn’t woken up long enough to clear my airway. This time, I instantly looked up at the sky and once again found myself rocketing through the tunnel; as best I could figure it, the trip took 10 seconds. This time at the wall of light, I stayed for a bit longer than before. I started to get images of what was on the other side awaiting me if I finished this incarnation properly. It was nothing short of fascinating. Several images of what looked like a morphing set of clouds turning into grand halls and vistas unfolded before my eyes.

Although I left again, I became frustrated that I wasn’t allowed to cross over yet. This time after I woke up, I made sure to clear my airway before getting up to contemplate everything that happened over that last week. I’ve gone through the entire range of emotions from moroseness and depression from not being allowed to cross over, to extreme Happiness that I finally know what happens to us when we die. A few days ago, I was given knowledge that I was supposed to undergo this experience now. I completely lost my fear of death. Indeed, I excitedly look forward to when my time finally comes. An aside, I was flipping through Pinterest and kept coming across a repeating 'encouragement' card which stated, “It’s worth it; your patience will be rewarded.” No matter how far I scrolled down the list, it was the only thing that was a constant repeat. It serves to reassure me that I made the right decision, however disappointing it was. I look at it often to remind me of why I came back.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 10/16/2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suffocation Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Suffocation due to nose clogging up and mouth failing to open to compensate

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My consciousness expanded to the point where I could feel everything happening on both sides of the tunnel. I not only felt this body rapidly expiring, but I also felt and experienced everything going on just beyond the wall of light.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I reached a state of maximum alertness and clarity the moment I reached the wall of light at the end of the tunnel.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Save for my dim awareness of the body, reminding me that linear time was still passing, I alternately had a feeling of complete timelessness. Everything was existing in the "Infinite Now"

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was second to none while in spirit. In the body I use Bifocals to see everyday objects clearly.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was enhanced, I heard the colors as they (and I) flew through the tunnel.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was made of pure darkness which rippled with a golden light that was alive, constantly shifting and surrounding the tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I felt many helpful souls that were just beyond the veil with a collective feeling of goodwill and caring beyond knowing being transmitted to me. They were preparing to welcome me. I know they will be waiting when my time ultimately comes. I could feel the life emanating from the veil.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It appeared as a massive 500 foot tall and 500 foot wide wall of light. Yet as I looked into it, it appeared more like an infinitely delicate veil that would have been easily pierced if I had so chosen to enter it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I did not enter the 'Spirit World' proper, but hung around on the outskirts.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Everything from dread to elation, joy, and intense Happiness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life It was the only prudent decision to make as I felt I was not yet done with corporeality. The prospect of upsetting God also did not appeal to me. I was given to understand that crossing over would have been a big mistake as I would have been committed at that point with no possibility of going back to the world without going through the whole process all over again from scratch under similar circumstances to reach the point I'm already at right now. In short, I would have wasted a LOT of time.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Buddhist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Buddhist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes We are all one... I've known this for years actually through my numerous other OBE's. No matter the circumstances, I've felt oneness on the other side.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt that beyond the wall of light was literally 'everything'. The physical plane really is an incredibly dense state of existence where all of our innate abilities and memories are suppressed to give us the illusion of separateness from God so we can be free to either accept or reject him of our own free will.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes What I experienced has answered the question of "What exists beyond death" for me in no uncertain terms. I now know exactly what awaits me when I finally cross over. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to fear death. Unfortunately, without an NDE of their own, most people will never truly lose their fear.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes We are ALL loved unconditionally and infinitely.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I have an expanded awareness of things. I have become very close to God now. Closer than I have in the past even with my other OBE's. He truly is as near as you believe him to be. I sense him guiding me in all things now and preparing for when my time comes.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I now know that God is guiding me towards fulfilling my purpose on earth so I can return with a job 'Well Done' and a proper welcome.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? As I stated earlier, I no longer fear death at all. If anything, I'm looking forward to it when I've completed my mission.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my best friend the morning after it happened. I've discussed things like this happening with him before, his reaction as always is acknowledgement and acceptance at what I tell him with encouragement coming from him. I did NOT discuss this with my wife as I don't wish to upset her.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have had several OBE's over the years which I would be happy to share if you would like. I already have one of them posted here from 2019.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real This is about as far as one can go without actually crossing over.. Everything was profoundly real to me and I now know without a doubt what happens to people when they die. We should rejoice for them finally returning home instead of being sad, knowing that we will one day soon join them.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Meditation and replaying the events in my mind have yielded up more visions on what awaits me once I return, and feeling more connected to the spirit world in general.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I was given the impression from them that this method of dying is what is going to ultimately kill me. These experiences were "Dry runs" for the lack of a better term, to prepare me for when it's finally my time. I asked God to meet me outside the light the next time so I'm not left to my own devices and to ensure that when I do complete the journey again, I'll have his blessings to go through the veil.