Nicky NDE vs Drug Experience

Experience Description

I was an energetic, emotional young man battling depression. A friend had purchased 50 ecstasy tablets and left 42 in my flat. I took 2 with the desire to escape my thoughts. They seemed not to have the sufficient effect so I took another 2, then another 2 and out of frustration and a reckless desire to escape took the remainder. Roughly 45 minutes later, as I was lying on my bed I thought, 'Oh wow, what have I done?' I felt an extreme physical and psychological reaction and got a little scared. I laid back and noticed my stereo system looked extremely far away. It was only 3 feet in front of me, but looked like it was 25 feet away. I closed my eyes several times to try to focus. But found myself, looking down at the stereo from the ceiling. I was above my body and could see my legs and feet. I don't recall seeing my torso or head. I was still fully conscious in my thoughts and remember thinking, 'Oh God, I'm in trouble here.' In the blink of an eye, I was traveling along, what I can only describe as a purple quilt-like background. I can't describe it as a tunnel; but it was definitely all I could see. I was still able to think as me, so I assumed it was a dream-like state.

As I traveled along I remember thinking that I was dying because this wasn't a dream. It was like I was being told information without actually seeing or hearing anyone. I spoke and said, 'I'm not ready to die.' I continued along this journey on the purple, quilt-like background. It was strange. I was floating but also felt like I was moving along, as if on a raft or aircraft. In my consciousness, again I recall thinking, 'No, I don't want to die. I need to stop this.' So in my thoughts, I asked God to please let me go back to my body. I apologized for some of my life choices and said if I can go back I'll do better and be a better person.

Almost immediately I woke up. I was back on my bed and my vision back to normal. I was naked which I hadn't been before the experience. I was unable to move anything but my eyes and slightly raise my head. I was extremely worried because I'd realized I'd overdosed and my body was not working as it should. I noticed the time and it was 17 hours from the time I'd taken the drugs. I fought my body for almost an hour, just move an arm to my phone that was only inches away. I have to say, this was extremely frightening.

Eventually, I managed to call 999 and asked the kind lady for help. I could barely muster a voice and she was amazing. An ambulance arrived about 30 minutes later. By which time, I had thrown myself into the floor and dragged myself to the door to open it. I still could not use my legs and had to fight to unlock the door to allow them entry. I was rushed to hospital and put on an IV drip. I told them what I had taken and was met with complete disbelief. They pumped my stomach and bits of about 15 tablets came up. Seeing this they started to listen to me and later advised me that I should be dead.

Other than to my closest friends I've never shared this experience as I was ashamed of my actions. It's very difficult to put into words how it felt. I should have been unconscious or dead, yet I was completely clear in my thoughts. I can still picture what happened to this day fairly vividly. I've watched numerous NDE accounts and some are similar but none quite the same.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1997

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Life threatening event, but not clinical death I'd taken an overdose of ecstasy tablets.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I felt like I was talking to the environment and that I could either change, control or discuss my situation. It was more than just an environment. I knew it could hear me.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Just prior, my vision was out of focus; almost blurry. During the esperience everything was extremely clear, vivid and vibrant.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No change as I didn't hear anything externally; only internally, in my mind.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain My environment was all around me but I didn't see a beginning or end it. It didn't feel round; more like it was a whole, all-encompassing area.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. Only the purple, quilt-like environment

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, anxiety and a feeling like I was helped.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I felt like I was judging my previous behaviors and decided to do better.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events I remembered some of my poor choices in life and made a conscious decision to do better if I could go back.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic Na

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated Na

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Na

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe life is an experience on a larger journey. Previously, I felt like our current life was the main purpose of living.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt like there's something greater than us/me who decided to allow me to return to my life. I don't know what it was but it was greater than anything I can describe in normal life.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I knew if I came back life would be difficult. But I wanted the chance to take on the challenge.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I'm a better person

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Definitely improved all my relationships, as I am calmer and more considerate of others.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes As stated, it's hard to explain that an environment was listening and even able to communicate with me and alter my path

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have a strong sixth-sense for people's thoughts and feelings. Once I was in work and had an overwhelming feeling I had to go to my grandparents' house. I went and my grandfather had passed away, 5 minutes prior to my arrival. He wasn't ill nor had anyone contacted me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I feel grateful for the ability to come back to my life unharmed

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was more real and vivid than anything I'd experienced or have since

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. See narrative above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No

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