Pamela M NDE

Experience Description

I have a story. Mine is not the average story but I'm willing to share.

I had a very abusive boyfriend and was trying to end the relationship with him. I had just gotten home from the hospital from having meningitis (which I later found out, can be caused from blunt force trauma). He spent about 4 hours straight kicking me in the head and punching me like a punching bag. I had two black eyes. When I was in the hospital, I was actually very happy to be there, to be away from him. The doctor said had I not gone in that day I would have died. When I got home, I had enough and was willing to die as long as I didn't have to be with him any longer. I was willing to die. I hated him for being so cruel to me. That's when it happened. I told him it was over and, before I knew it, he had both hands around my neck and was griping with everything inside him. I tried terribly to get a breath of air but I couldn't. The worst feeling I can describe is to want to breathe and not being able to. I began to panic and tried to scratch his eyes out. I just wanted a breath of air.

All of a sudden, air didn't matter. I began to fade away into this warm bright light. The light was so bright and comforting I wanted to stay forever. The light didn't hurt my eyes but all I could see was the brightness of the light. I could feel myself floating or rising in the light. Suddenly, as if someone pressed rewind, I was sucked down out of the light and back into my body.

When I awoke it was him smacking me and me taking a breath, but I didn't feel the smack it was like in slow motion. I took the deepest breath ever and began coughing, my face and shirt were wet, and I asked what was going on. I couldn't really remember everything. He just kept saying, 'Oh my God. I'm sorry. See what you made me do?' He said I was out cold for 3 minutes and was not breathing and he thought he killed me. He was trying to wake me up by pouring water on me and smacking me. I did end up leaving him, and now I'm not afraid to die because whatever you are suffering from it stops when the white light comes and it's beautiful.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2005

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was being choked to death.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I would say I was more alert than normal, because I had no stress it's like nothing else mattered. It was just the light and me. I wasn't really thinking of anything else at the time. I know it doesn't make much sense but, that's how I can describe it.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It is odd, but when I when into the light, I was very alert with what was going on around me although it was like slow motion or another speed of time, I can't really explain.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was visually sharp the light was beautiful warm and bright, but you had no depth perception, you are not really thinking of anything you're just happy and you feel good and protected; there's no fear, no thoughts at all.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Sound is super clear. I remember hearing someone say, 'Pamela', you know how when you're coming out of anesthesia at the hospital, that calm voice, but I didn't see anyone or recognize the voice but it was soothing and sounded like it was right above. I remember looking to see where it came from.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No The only time I was aware of the tunnel was when I was being sucked back into my body, because it went from white light to a black tunnel that was kind light with bands of light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes All I can say is this is a bright soft, warm light. It's really bright but doesn't hurt my eyes. It feels like the best hug you have ever had in life!

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Nothing but Bliss!

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I have never been a church going person but always believed in my heart that God is real and it is something of a higher power than we are. I don't know if his name is Jesus it might be Paul or Linda! All I know is that it exists. I'm sure once we cross that line of no return we will get the inside on that.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I dont really get this question, all I know is that after I got sucked back into my body I wasnt sure what was going on with my human body and was pissed that I was actually back in it all the weight and negativity was all back and heavy on me.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Not to fear death because its actually beautiful and peaceful and you do continue on to another place.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes yes I felt alive on so many levels, and like I was about to recycle sort of speak.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes I felt at one with it all connected to the light the unfamiliar voice, even with the feeling of floating through the light, sounds silly but I cant really explain it.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain All I can say is spiritually I can feel there was something way bigger than me!

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No I knew that I was an important part of the whole world's equation.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes i felt like life was a journey or trip and I was going back home.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I was very aware that life did not end it was like moving on to something better.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I believe we are all here for a reason, even if its not world changing , maybe it was to make someone smile for a day, maybe to save a life with just kind words, we all belong and fit. for some odd reason it kind of feels like when you travel through that light once you pass the point of no return your actually being re-born like a baby passing through the womb tunnel, and when we give birth someone actually passed throught the light pass the point of no return and is being recycled and given back to us in another life form...I did not think of anything all I did was hear the voice and process it and look for it, but everything I say felt like is because I was at one with it , it just was, and I understood without thinking about it.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was aware that in this light none of life's hardships, challenges or difficulties mastered and were not even thought of.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Yes thats all I could feel was positive feelings, warmth, comfort, beauty, because the light is beautiful, everything felt so good and happy. = love to me

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes When people speak of random things like ghosts or UFOs, things of that nature, I listen with an open mind. If my story is true then maybe theirs is as well. You never know.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can connect with people and can feel a person's energy; like if a person is a bad person I can feel it, I can sense things. I have also said things were going to happen and they did. For example, I have been feeling uneasy about something, but did not know what it was. I was watching the news last night and I saw a crashed car. They said a person had died in the crash immediately. I panicked. I knew that I knew the person, but the car and nothing else was familiar to me. I found out hours later it was an ex-boyfriend of mine. Then the uneasy feeling I had been feeling for days was gone. I actually thought it was another ex of mine, it wasn't the right ex but it was definitely an ex. That's what actually made me come across this site. I cried because I won't see him anymore. He was shot in the head and drove himself to the hospital. He crashed into the hospital and was pronounced dead when they came out. I know at some point his suffering stopped and the same white light that I was embraced in embraced him. He is at peace and in a better place than I am. But he crossed the point of no return and is probably being re-born right now in another world perhaps or maybe even right here.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not really; it was all good except for when I came back. I hate to sound like I don't appreciate life because I do but, it just felt so much better in the light.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No Because I kept my abuse a secret from everyone. I was ashamed that I was that weak and did not have inner strength to get out of a bad situation at the time. Besides, when you share a story like this you are called a liar or crazy.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The feeling of wellbeing was one I have never felt before. It was so powerful you can't even dream of it because you don't know about it until you're in it. It was an experience of a higher power.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know it was real because I long to feel that comfort that I felt that one time. It's like a feeling you will always chase but will never get here on earth. Everything is still pretty vivid to me in detail. I'm sure I have forgotten some of the detail but will never forget that feeling.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes The only thing that reproduces part of the experience is when I see a sun set; the pretty pinks, blues, and purple tones of the sky and you see that golden bright light of the sun peeking over the horizon. Maybe that's why some people are in awe of the sun setting.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes in my everyday life, I don't have much of anything, but I make it a point to make a positive impact on someone's life. I speak to strangers passing by; I listen when my friends or people in general have problems. I try to help people find the good within themselves. That's a gift that God has blessed me with; to help others find inner peace. I lived in a bad neighborhood at one point. A Caucasian man had been stabbed and tried to flee in his car and crashed. There was a crowd of about 50 people standing around looking at this crashed car with a human life in it and not one person went over to help him, not one! I was the only one and they yelled at me while walking over to the car saying, 'Pam what are you doing? Don't touch that car your, prints are going to be on it and they are going to think you had something to do with it.' It did not matter to me. I saw a human life in the car that needed to be comforted so he did not feel alone. I looked at his white t-shirt that was now covered in red from his blood, and I said, 'Hey you're doing great! Hang in there. I can hear the ambulance coming right now.' What made me say that I don't know. I heard no ambulance, I just saw a crowd full of heartless people. But when I said that he muttered and tried to talk and tell me something. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I told him, 'Save your strength, the ambulance is almost here and yes, I will tell your family you love them if you can't, ok?' And as soon as I said that he took one last shallow breath and stopped breathing and died. If that gave him comfort in his last moment then my mission was complete. I cried as I walked home for a complete stranger, that had I not been there would, have gone through death alone with 50 people watching like he was an animal. I still think about him and wish I could tell his family he was not alone at the time of death to make it easier for them. I never even knew his name (but that's why I'm here on earth. It's not life changing but my kind words and gestures make a small difference, and I'm proud of it.) I have nothing but I do have a heart and that is priceless.