Paul D NDE

Experience Description

I was 10 or 11. I was roller-skating in Central Park downhill around Metropolitan museum and coming down to a lake with an Alice in Wonderland statue that was on the right hand side. A struggling cyclist was riding in the wrong lane, instead of being on the left hand side of hill. I thought he would look up but he didn't.

For me, the accident happened in decomposed slow-motion. I woke up in a grayish-colored tunnel that also had maroon and a fancy red color. I was going upwards slightly at a 5 to 10 degree angle, yet I was not walking. I was moving slowly enough to see 8 to 10 black and white photographs of myself, hanging up like in an art museum from left and right. Although I had a feeling of 'this is the end,' it was creeping logically into my thoughts but without any panic feelings associated with it. The light was warm and inviting. I thought that these would not be the photos I would have handpicked, but then changed my mind. I said to myself that these were the exact 'extract' of my life, and represented a super-synthesis.

And then two truths were revealed to me. The first revelation was that anything I did, success and failures are not up to me because it is all written in advance. I was just executing a script. Everything to the last detail was pre-written for me. That eased my mind because I was slowly wondering if my wrongdoings like stealing a bubblegum from the store or fighting with my little brother would hurt my chances of getting into heaven.

The second revelation sort of deceived me. All people, if not most of them, go to 'heaven' including rapists, murderers, and etc. I could feel something like 1% to 3% did not go to heaven, but I couldn't understand how all the rest made it. In any case, I accepted both revelations instantly even though on earth I somehow would not have agreed with second revelation. Then I let go and accepted my faith.

I got to the source of the tunnel. It was like a no-brand star-gate, circular door. I could not see it precisely except it was some 15 meters behind the figure of light. The figure of light was like a human but taller than me. I could make out his arms and face and maybe legs, but could not see any features. I could only see light. He said, 'Hello Paul. Do you know why you are here ?' I answered, 'Yes' because I had plenty of time to understand in tunnel. I wanted to impress him and because of my impatience I wanted to get right down to business. He said something along the lines of a nod and an o.k. After what seemed like 4 to 6 seconds, he seemed to wait for confirmation like those delivery-guys with a Bluetooth phone earplug. Then he got his message and said 'I'm sorry it's not your time.'

During all that time he spoke without no mouth or sound. He spoke into my mind directly. I was disappointed because events in my life made me want to stay here. The light was so welcoming and nice. I got down on my knees to beg, 'Please, please let me in! Please!' I begged so hard that he half-reluctantly agreed to see if it was possible for me to stay. He said, 'Wait' and then he went to his left. Then I noticed that in the dark there were maybe 3, 4, or 5 other light figures some 10 to 15 meters diagonally from us. He went to them. I could not hear any sound but could see them arguing, moving their arms in wide gestures, trying to convince each other. After some 10 seconds the arms came down. They were still talking but I could feel some form of agreement had been reached. Five seconds later, he came back and said, 'I'm really sorry, it is not possible. It is just not your time. Some people still depend of you on Earth.' I started to plead again but before I could finish my first word, I was *poof* gone from there.

I woke up some 10 meters above myself, lying down immobile on the street. I could see the top of the square ambulance, and that some 40 to 50 people were all surrounding me while the paramedics were working on me. I was level with the canopy of the trees. I could feel the breeze there you cannot feel below. I started to slowly fall like a dead leaf from a tree. I was gliding left to right and down to my body. I just glided back like I had read everywhere in out of body experiences. That descent took about 10 seconds. I felt rather amused to see myself down there and be flying around. I wasn't worried.

Then I woke up and open my eyelids. I could see people above me talking but I had no sound for 15 seconds. I could only see their mouths move. Then volume came back slowly like when you turn volume up on a high fidelity radio. Then people applauded the paramedics, me, and the whole rescue. I clearly felt that 'death' is just a passage. I don't know if there is heaven or hell, or if this was some form of God, but it was clearly some form of 'landlord' that had the control of everything. I know it's just a passage.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1981

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. CPR given. Direct head injury. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Roller-skating accident.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Lofty, falling back into my body in a 20-second time span. Falling like a dead leaf from some 15 meters to glide back into my body. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was alert in that I only focused on essentials and did not question them or hesitate.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Always

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time stopped

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During experience: radiance. After: normal

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same - all experience was 'no sound', only sound in my mind when talked to

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Tunnel was darkish, maroon/grayish but felt like lavishly red silk and cozy.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Light was radiant, white and warm, inviting, almost an entity. It conveyed messages, absolute truths. It was omnipresent. It was soundless sounds also as a wavelength.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Like some pass-by frontier room without seeing the walls, except for the light behind Master, which appeared some 15 meters behind him.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, wanting to pass. Knowing this is just a passage. That everyone goes there except a handful, and that all is written and we just execute script. Not responsibilities for successes, failures, or anything. Pure determinism.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understood it was all a game, way beyond what we could understand. Purpose was living/passing. Trying.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Had some seven or eight pictures of me in B/W hung like in a museum, as I was moving upward in the tunnel. Some I recognized right away, others appeared to be taken from unknown sources like some peeper behind a tree, without my knowledge.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Passage light door behind Master

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I stopped going to church or feel obligated to go as religion was sold to me. I, on the other side, became more a believer. A total one :)!

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic Don't believe in God as such

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience All was a surprise. None was exactly consistent. It was not like the Christian Catholic stuff I had learned. It was generic-brand, and all light. Also, I did not think it existed really, beforehand, to be honest. If it did exist in a candy-coated religious instruction, that more or less half would go to heaven and half to inferno. But there was no heaven, just a main passage for 98% of people, a passage with niceties, peace and joy but maybe not heaven as depicted.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe anything. Sometimes people doubt my kindness 'are you for real?' I feel I can see through people immediately, although I cannot act upon it to my advantage (ethics).

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin A human-like tall figure talked to me through my mind. We had around five exchanges. I could not see features; it was made of light. It seemed very nice.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Don't know whom the man was, felt like some God, but maybe not a certain God, was like the 'master' or close to it.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Only connection awareness I felt is that whether you do bad or good, we're all treated the same in this kind of passage.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I wouldn't call it God, maybe Creator or Master or close to Master.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Special knowledge: don't be afraid of dying. It is better than life, but one of the purposes on Earth is just to live it so do not be impatient. All comes at the right time.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Purpose is: there is none. Or if there is, it is the Master's expertise. I wanted to ask but I felt somehow that the unsatisfactory answer made sense then.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Just was sent this message, as evidence. Passage on Earth is just a passage. There are others. Elsewhere, somehow. Everything is meant to be as such.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was told none of it is our own doing. It is all pre-written down to the last comma.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I felt Master, or close-to, has love for the grand, grand majority, even worst criminals. Everybody.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I try to be open and tend to believe everything anybody says to me - up to the point where I cannot distinguish lies and might appear 'simple'. I also feel more lost than before, although I am not worried about dying or trying to be meaningful anymore.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Some things I cannot live with: hypocrisy.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There is, first, the difficulty to detail an experience with simple interactions, although these happened. Also, there is the whole knowledge input with no words describable. A bit like those sci-fi movies where you could learn a whole language by direct data input in 30 seconds.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. What struck me was the simple-ness of everything. The vulgarity of this existence as logic I always refuted.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can read people instantly like in the TV series 'lie to me' but without gimmicks and instantly. It seldom looks like it because I have a physical blockage to act upon it.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Well. It helped me to calm my daughter who is same age as I was when it happened and is worried about dying and same for my old mother, I told her 3 times but she never remembers it, lately she seems to be listening more.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared with family, one co-worker, and anonymously on IRC chat [Internet Relay Chat]. My family erased it from their minds. My co-worker felt sorry she asked me the question. On IRC, most people were going crazy or trying to pull this to some religious/anti-religious side. When for me, it was anti-religious although had mystique. I'm sure it's generic. I'm sure you don't need to believe in God to live the exact same thing. Either there are no Gods or there is just one, for all religions, everywhere and through time. A superior being and beings (lest not forget the little group to the left of the passage).

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I studied neuro-physiology for fun around 20s and graduated into artificial intelligence. I understand the controversy of the skeptics. I cannot believe it was not happening though. Even with the neurobiology knowledge, I have now. Synaptic remembrance only strengthened my idea of 'magic' later.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I felt it was real, I know it was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I just want to share. Tell others that they are not crazy and should not be ashamed of having this experience, on the contrary.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? See above, remove allusions to God or at least add 'Superior Entity' to multiple-choice questions. Again, I was going to church and catholic upbringing, if there was an ounce of religion in the experience, trust me, I would have been aware of it. It was 'as if' but only to the point where the stories/lessons learned at church were all wrong with sacrifices, etcetera. It could have been more to do with superior aliens than God. I don't want to speculate as to what it was, but I do know what it was not for sure. It was superior; it felt like some ultimate God, but not the god you learn about in church.