Pauline L NDE

Experience Description

I went to bed after going to watch my husband play football, and when I got into bed, I felt a severe pain in my head. My husband told me to put a cold cloth on my head and on the back of my neck. That is the last thing I remember. I then saw my grandson, who hadn't been born yet. My daughter had been pregnant for just a couple of months, and we didn't know what sex the child was. He said to me, 'Gran gran, please go back, or I won't be born!' He held my hand and I felt the love. It was overpowering. Then he said, 'Here is my sister Emma, (my daughter has had no more children so far) and here are Aunty Shell's children.' They were two perfect blonde wee girl twins, and two wee boy twins. The bigger of the two boys said his name was Curtis. Charlie, my grandson, repeated, 'Gran gran, hurry, go back please, or I won't be born, hurry!!!' He seemed really urgent about it.

I then felt myself rushing and next I felt a thud. Then I opened my eyes and saw everyone crying. They were so happy I came back! When the ambulance had first come, they had told my kids and my hubby, 'I'm sorry, there's not much hope!' At the hospital in Livingston, before they transferred me to the hospital in Edinburgh, my kids were told to say goodbye to me. At Edinburgh, the head surgeon there told my kids, my hubby, and my poor old mum that he would do what he could, but it was a right mess in my brain.

After I woke up, I'd try to talk, but I couldn't make sense with my words; they were coming out all jumbled up. My left side didn't work. Then I heard my grandson in my head telling me to fight and I'd be okay.

I felt my daughter's tummy and said to her, 'He's a special one.' She was like, 'How do you know it's a boy?' and I told her.

When my grandson got to the 'mama' 'dada' stage of talking, I was playing with him in his bedroom one day, and he turned around and said, 'Gran gran.' I'll never forget it. I was like, 'Oh my God! (OMG)'

Anyway, back to the hospital they told me I was very lucky to be alive. They had nearly lost me on the operating table twice and the doctor said I'd be in intensive care for six weeks and then on the ward for another six weeks and then rehab for three to six months. I said, 'No I won't. I want to go home. It's day seven.' I removed the feeding tube and the urine tube myself, and told them I wanted to get up.

I did get up but I fell right down. I said, 'Please get me a walking frame.' Someone went for a doctor to stop me from leaving, but even when the doctor arrived, I said no to him. I did stay in the hospital and practiced walking with the frame for five more days. On day thirteen, I said to the doc, 'I want to go home tomorrow.' He said he would scan my brain to make sure the swelling was still going down and that there was no more bleeding. If I could do what he wanted, i.e. make toast and beans, and tea, and walk up and down five stairs unaided, OK, I could go. Then he said he had never seen anything like it; that I was in the 1% of people who survived what happened to my brain, and that he had expected a lot more brain damage. He said he's never seen such a rapid recovery, ever. I left the hospital two weeks after my brain hemorrhage, with only some weakness in my left side. This weakness makes me fall over sometimes, but I don't care about that. I've learnt to fall without hurting myself. I have short and long-term memory loss. But I'm alive, and I can't wait to meet my other grand kids! I feel so blessed to be alive and not disabled by what happened. I can still hear Curtis in my head. He told me that the twin girls will be here before next Christmas. I cannot wait!

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 26-28/6/2007

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Life threatening event, but not clinical death I had a massive brain hemorrhage caused by a ruptured aneurysm. They couldn't stop the bleeding and my brain swelled up. I was out cold for two days. They didn't know if I would pull through.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could see my mum screaming in the hospital. She told me after I woke up that this was true, she had been screaming. I saw my kids and my husband begging me to not leave. They told me that this was accurate as well. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It might have been when my brain wouldn't stop bleeding. Or it might have been just after I awoke. But anyway, the experience has been as clear as a bell in my head ever since.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Just that the darkness was very dark. But my grandson told me not to turn around. I could see and feel bright light behind me.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was like my grandson's voice was the only noise I could hear where I was. There was no other noise at all.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I knew it was behind me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place A dark space with bright light behind me, not like a hole, it felt like everything.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt love. Strong and powerful love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future See narrative above. I had been speaking to, and was shown my other grandchildren. But I won't be able to verify that what I was being shown is accurate until after they are born.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes If anything I am a stronger believer in God than before.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin My grandson spoke and showed himself to me, but he hadn't been born yet.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes rather not say

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes you can feel it you just seem to know it in ur heart there is more its safe happy and pain free

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes rather not say at this time

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes love is all that matters nothing else is important

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My family thinks I am a bit mad.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I woke up. They told me I had been dreaming and to stop being stupid. That hasn't changed how I feel, for I know that what I saw and felt was real.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real. I can't explain how I know, I just know.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When my grandson was born and when he called me 'Gran gran.'

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think everyone should have a NDE on their 18th birthday; the world would be a better place.