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The Will of a Wildflower Click here to check it out Here are links to her IANDS NDE Radio interviews. https://www.talkzone.com/episodes/204/NDE111417.html and https://www.talkzone.com/episodes/199/NDE112116.html Experience Description #1
As my husband drove me an hour away to the Emergency Room, my pain was severe, but when we were almost there the pain stopped , in a weird way. The way it stopped , told me I was fading/dying. Once we got to the Hospital, I told the nurse I was going to pass out or throw up, and I think I have a tubal pregnancy. A nurse pushed me in a wheel chair down a hall.She had given me a bowl in case I threw up. I leaned my head down towards it as she pushed me, as I felt very sick and faint. Suddenly I was going very fast through a tunnel, the sound of fast wind and the speed of the sound was loud. It was like being on a roller roaster going straight up towards space. I was shot like a rocket and went very far. I was very scared , and felt afraid of where it was taking me. I knew I wouldn't know how to get back. It was clearly a feeling of leaving earth and way out to some where else in space .Then it stopped. Everything was perfectly still and quite. I was suspended in a bright light. The light surrounded me. Up, down, below and above was all light. White light. I was inside the light. I couldn't see me. I still felt like me. I didn't know what to do. I was just feeling being there, and recalling the tunnel and speed, and how it abruptly stopped and now I am here. I knew I died. At first I felt I was alone. Then I noticed shadows standing in front of me. Shadows of a panel of people .They were looking at me. I could feel them , and see an out line of them. They were all standing , except one in the middle, upfront, he was sitting. That was God. God spoke to me, and I spoke to him. I was rude and disrespectful. I was screaming I didn't want to be there, and saying I didn't want to stay. I was very angry. I told him I have young sons at home that need me. I said I won't go. Then God let me know ,through thought, that I was manipulating, and basically I wasn't the boss there. I humbled myself before him, and asked him to look in the future ,and said if my son's would be better off without me , I would stay. But if they wouldn't be, I begged to go back to take care of them. I saw then, my son's at home being raised by their dad with out me there. They were so sad and alone. He had a girlfriend and she didn't love them the way I loved them, and they missed me terribly. I was so sad and wanted to comfort them. I then asked God "Who else will teach them about you?" Suddenly I was entering my body in the wheel chair with my head still down , and the bowl limp in my lap. The nurse pushing me was now talking to another female. First I could hear, them only, then I could feel my body, first my hands on the wheel chair arm rest, then the rest of my body. Then I thought, that nurse didn't even know her patient died, because she was too busy socializing. I then thought, what the hell just happened? Then I thought, I can't think about that now, I have to focus on being alive and how I am going to survive this. I knew in my heart my twins were dead, and now I had to find a way to stay alive for my sons. The nurse took me to a examination room , and put me on a high examine table, I was shaking, freezing cold. My husband was there waiting for me. He held my knees down to keep me from shaking off the table. He had them continue getting me warm blankets .The doctor came and prepped me for a D&C. but said I didn't need it because the uterus was intact. he said I could stay over night if it made me feel better. My husband went home. I was in a room alone all night. I would feel terrible pain in my right hip bone area (tube) then I would sit up, and pass out, and wake up covered in vomit. Every time I sat up I would pass out and throw up while passed out. The nurse got mad and said I needed to use my bowl, and refused to call the doctor. She said he was home asleep and wasn't going to wake him. The next morning they took me to ultra sound (flat in my bed, because I would passed out when they tried to take me in a wheel chair sitting up.) There they saw the internal bleeding filling my entire abdominal cavity, clear up to my chest. Then they saw one baby in my uterus and one stuck half in and have in my right tube. They had me sign away all my organs one at a time to donors , then took me to emergency surgery stat. They called my whole family in and said I wouldn't survive. My mother was in charge of making the funeral arrangements.
Background Information:
Gender: Female
Date NDE Occurred: April 1986 NDE Elements:
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Life threatening event, but not clinical death Against my own wishes, at age twenty, I had had a tubal ligation. At age twenty-five, I had it reversed, so I could conceive. The next month I was pregnant with twins. But at seven weeks, I began having pain. By the end of that week, I could barely walk. Then I began bleeding and the pain became very intense. I knew it was a tubal pregnancy but my doctor wouldn't believe me. An ultrasound at that time looked as if both babies were in my uterus but what the ultrasound revealed that day in the hospital was that one baby was actually only partly in my uterus and the rest was stuck in my fallopian tube. This had caused so much bleeding that my entire abdominal cavity was filled up with blood.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It was higher because I was so scared and begging for my life.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in the tunnel and in heaven.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I seemed to be able to see all the way around myself without having to turn around.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard God and he heard me, we fully understood each other. My voice was speaking in words, he communicated to my mind what he wanted to say, and yet I experienced it as a male voice. It was a firm but loving voice. As I write this, I still hear and feel it. I behaved like a spoiled child having a fit, kicking and screaming; he had been calm, but authoritative, letting me know that I was not the one controlling this situation, he was. Yet I felt he surely would understand how much my children needed me. I finally trusted his wisdom, and placed my fate in his hands, out of trust in his knowledge. I feel his fatherly love to this day. It comforts me. This memory, this bond, does not fade.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was narrow. Standing room only! Round and long, it reminded me of a rope or a tube attaching to space. It was like a vacuum, sucking me, pulling me, and shooting me way up and out, far away. The sound of speed and wind, hitting the sides of the tunnel as I passed through it made it noisy. It wasn't dark, but it wasn't that light, either. Like a roller coaster, straight up to space.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was a very, very bright white. It was all over everything as if I were in a room made of light. Light was the floor, the ceiling, the walls, up, down, middle, everywhere and everything. And I was inside it, floating.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was in Heaven and was talking to God. Other spirits were present, who listened but did not speak.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear of not coming back. Fear of being so far away from my sons. Fear of my sons being told I had died and wouldn't be back. Fear of my sons needing me, and that I wouldn't be there to protect them and love them. I was begging and pleading. I felt resolve and sadness when thinking of not being able to return.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I believe I saw what my sons' lives would be like if I couldn't return.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was bound against my will in the tunnel, and in Heaven. It seemed the white light was contained in a room, meaning it did not go on forever. It was more as if we were in a private meeting room at the entrance to Heaven. I sensed I would move on further, if I were to stay.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was at a point of no return but was allowed to return. I was originally supposed to not go back. God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am more spiritual than religious now. I believe in God and I pray to God on a deeper level. I don't need to confess to a priest or to repeat rehearsed prayers. I talk to God and he is there. I go by how things feel for me; it's not so much about the physical world with its objects and things any more.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I never imagined that I would go to heaven and tell God off. I never thought you went kicking and screaming.I thought that fear of death was before death, and once your in heaven it's all bliss and happy .I didn't know you could ask to come back, and that some people come back, I had never heard of near death expierences when I had mine.I did know from being catholic, that God is omnisent,that he can see in the future, that's why I asked him to.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I used to believe in God; now I KNOW there is a God. I used to pray to someone far away, now I pray right in front of God.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I saw God. I spoke to God. There were other people there, standing in a row behind him. God was sitting up front and center. I saw their outlines and sensed them all. (Imagine it is dark and you see that people are there, but it is too dark to make out who they all are, but you recognize the one in the middle of the front row as someone you know well.) Only it was all white light instead of dark.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes God could of been Jesus,I refer to God when I speak of who I was talking to, and who was talking to me, but I question if it was Jesus,or if it matters.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I told God that i knew he could see in the future and see if my son's would be better off with out me. i asked him to look in the future, and see, and if my son's were better off without me I would stay. He allowed us to look at the future,if I didn't ret
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes God did exist , I saw him, talked to him, argued with him, begged him, reasoned with him. He allowed me to return.He let me know I needed to settle down, and that I did not run things there, he does.The others were obeying him by allowing him to speak to me without their interuption.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Knowing what God felt, and feeling he knew what I felt. There was no stumbling with words, all was open communication and well understood.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Apparently promising God to teach your children about him allows you to come back. I asked him who else was going to teach my kids about him, and I was returned instantly.Apparently nobody else was going to do it.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I was told I did not control my dying or living, it was up to God.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life At first I just thought inside myself about what had happened, and was afraid of what people would think about me if I told them about it. Years later when I would talk about it, I noticed people didn't seem to believe me or even care. In the last several years, and the more as I get older and wiser, and I care less what others think, I marvel at the experience. I remarried when I was 36. We adopted nine children, after I had fostered 60 in 16 years. My husband listens to me, and I know I can be open to him, and he knows I am honest. He believes my experiences, so it allows me to explore them without judgment. When I pray now, I take myself to that light in heaven, and pray from there, face to face with God. I happily tell my story, and people can hear the truth and believe or not, it is up to them but they have been told. I do not fear death now that I have raised my sons, and I feel such appreciation for my life being given back to me. I have brought my husband and adopted children into the church, and am more spiritual now than religious. I do feel I have healed people physically, emotionally and spiritually, because I think I brought a little bit of the light back with me. I have a little ESP and I feel that I levitate if I talk about God and heaven or spirituality long enough. I step out of my body a little. That was scary at first, too, but I have learned to not fear it, to just stay there and feel it. One time, someone close to me died, and I touched them, I communicated with them, and explained things to them.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes No Years later, I had another tubal pregnancy. I knew the signs, and my doctor learned his lesson to listen to me, and we caught it early. But as I laid there before surgery, I looked at my (now ex) husband, and told myself, 'The next time I am on my death bed, I will have a different husband; one that cares.' We divorced soon afterwards. God led me to my current husband, and we are soul mates. After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The first time I told anyone was months afterwards, and it was my husband I told. While telling him, I shook uncontrollably, just as I had at the hospital upon waking up. I was so freezing cold from my experience. Now it seemed as if there was a struggle going on about getting it out of me, my body, or the fear in my mind, was fighting my soul's need to express itself. I was afraid he would laugh at me, think I was crazy, and tell everyone I was nuts and a liar. And, more importantly, I had my own fear of remembering it. Earlier that same day, before he got home from work, I had just started allowing myself to remember it. I couldn't seem to really understand that it could have actually happened. But I KNEW it was true, and I had to tell someone. When I had finished telling my husband, he said he believed me because of the way I looked when I told him, and because he knew me. After that, each time that I got up the nerve to tell someone, I shook, but less each time, as my fear gradually went away. These days when I think about it, I'm no longer afraid. I mostly appreciate that I was allowed to come back and raise my sons. I don't fear death now, and I will accept God's will for me when it comes, because now my sons are grown. I KNOW there are Heaven and God, and there is nothing to fear about death. It is just our body that dies. We live on! I have such gratitude to God!
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I have never forgot it, the memory has never faded, nor the feelings I felt.It is simular to PTSD, strong emotional memory, but it is a good memory and makes me feel good, I love talking about it, and I control when I recall it, it is not intrusive or out of my control. But it is as vivid as PTSD memories.Detailed and emotional.Life changing.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had it before, but dismissed it. Now I recognize it more and I use it without fear. I see it as a gift from God now, and nobody else needs to accept it or believe it. It is helpful to others and me. It provides depth and wonder to my life.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I know that God is as close to me as I need him to be. If you are afraid, open your hand and hold his. He is there. If you need an answer, pray and listen; it will come. If you hear his voice, it is a blessing.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was months before I told anyone, then only a few times with those I thought I could trust to tell. It turned out that nobody wanted to hear it, so after that, I didn't tell anyone. Now I tell people if something about death comes up, but first I say about it, 'I will tell you if you want me to.' And usually they don't. My husband and kids hear about it anytime I feel like talking about it, now.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No When I first told my husband, Oprah's show was new, and she had had it on that day. I stood there in front of the TV, stunned, all alone, saying aloud, 'It's real! That's what happened to me!'
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real. I said, 'What the hell was that!' to myself as soon as I was back in my body, but I told myself to push it aside for the time being, because I had other things I had to focus on, like staying alive. Not until I saw the Oprah show could I even begin to put it in words and try to explain it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real No doubt whatsoever.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Ask if they ever attempted suicide to try to go back. I did once. I wanted to be with the babies I lost, after my sons were grown. God and heaven are so real after an NDE. It can look like just going on vacation, to go back. It is just through the wall.
My mother, sister Teri and brother John walked down the hill from our house to swim in the pond along SR 7,on a hot sunny day. I went over by myself to get in. I waded in to where I could still touch, because I couldn't swim like my 4 older siblings, I was the youngest of 5,and could only dog paddle. I dog paddled awhile, then came across a board floating in the water. I laid on it and used it as a raft. It worked real well, it didn't sink. So I used it to paddle clear to the center of the pond. I was so pleased with my accomplishment, that I had to yell for my brother John to look at me. he was 7 and a good swimmer. John quickly swam out to where I was, and grabbed the board away from me ,and took off using it himself. I sunk. I was kicking and screaming, trying to get my head above water. I was swallowing water, and choking. Suddenly I looked around under the water, and didn't know which way was up anymore, I didn't know which way to kick towards. Up ,down and sideways all looked the same. The water was dark, I couldn't see light anywhere. I was afraid of going deeper, instead of towards the top, or going side ways and never making head way, and I would drown. As I tried to think, I noticed I was now able to breath. I wasn't gulping water any more. I was fine. I thought my parents lied to me. They always said if I couldn't breath under water, and I would drown. I felt I hadn't drown, because I was fine, I could breath under water just fine. In fact it was wonderful. I was fascinated by it all. The water became beautiful, a shiny transparent light green. I saw fish swim right in front of my face. I looked closely at their fins, their mouths opening and closing as they wiggled along in the water. They bumped into my body, as it was suspended under the water. I was confused because us kids would try to catch fish with our bare hands when dad was fishing, and we could never be quick enough to get a hold of them. They always got away. Now they acted like I wasn't a threat, like I was a object in a fish tank, just something else in there to swim around. Then I felt my self rising up in the water. I reached the top. My vision was different. I could see under the water or over the water if I wanted. Like dipping a white egg in Easter egg coloring, 2 views of scenery at once. Or I could go up higher. After awhile I decided to go up higher. It was like I had choices of what I could see. I went up in the sky, and felt that was far enough for now. I could see my mom and sister Teri who was 8 or 9 at the time, sitting on a bed sheet on the bank talking. I was very angry that they were so unconcerned that I had drown, I felt "I am dead and they don't even care!" I was jealous of there closeness and of not being included in the conversation. I then saw on the opposite side of the pond from them, my brother John, on my board! I was so angry. Anger that I never knew as a child, anger that a grown man might have, it was a rage. The next thing I recall, I am waking up. I am hung over my brother John's right shoulder as he is caring my body to the house. I see, as I am hung upside down, my mother and sister Teri walking up ahead, walking close together, and talking quietly, secretively. John says "Mom, can I put her down now?" She glanced back at him, and saw I was vomiting water down his back. She nodded yes, as she grabbed her chest in a sigh of relief, and turned back around and continued walking with Teri, crossing the train tracks ,and heading up the hill to our house. End of memory.
Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1966 NDE Elements:
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I drowned.
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes While my body had to have been underwater, I was above it, seeing what my family was doing, and seeing the pond from a bird's eye view. I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Children don't feel that kind of rage and are not able to judge a situation like I did. We certainly can't be suspended in water and enjoy the view without oxygen, nor choose to suspend ourselves in the sky and look down from that viewpoint without being on a limb of a tree or something.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in the sky overlooking the pond and my family, because of the rage I felt that I had died. I felt rage because my brother had caused it and they hadn't even noticed or cared. I felt they should have been watching me. My brother knew I couldn't swim yet he took my board for himself, and I drowned without it.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My ability to see life from different views than we can while alive was different. I was in such awe of the view underwater, it felt like seeing a miracle there.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall hearing anything, I was just seeing, feeling, and sensing the contentment of my family members, which caused me anger.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place Not heaven, I was just was out of my body, in a different place, not a place of the living but a place of the dead.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt fear, then I felt lost, then confused, then calm, then wonder/happy, then opportunity, then observation, then sadness and jealousy, then anger, and then rage.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood I was not loved or cared for by my family. I hadn't known that before. (And it became more apparent as I got older. Zero concern for me, still.)
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Even though I didn't recall my drowning until I was grown, at about the same age as the drowning, I recall being in pre-Sunday school, and suddenly bursting into a strong feeling of the spirit. I started singing real loud and praising God! The other kids covered their ears and begged the teacher to make me stop. I had been very full of the spirit during that whole Sunday class, and I just couldn't contain it. My teacher told them, no, I was full of the spirit, and to let me be. (That was a one-time event.)
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was only 5, I did not think you could still be alive under water. I did not know what it was like to leave your body, or that you could, or that you could see and feel things hovering over a pond.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Almost twenty years later, after I recalled it. But it did not change me much until I had the second NDE when I was 25. The two experiences together have changed my life a lot, the second one more than the first.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I could feel others thoughts and emotions,I didn't need to hear what they were saying, I coud feel what was on their minds.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew their feelings.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I saw that we live on without need for a body. Without our body we can go where we want, and are able see people for who they really are.We can sum up situations, without need for maturity of age.We can go places and marvel at parts of life that we are fo
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I saw there was no love for me by my family, and it was a feeling of injustice that I drown and that they did not even care.
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I was five, so I don't know what I had thought either before or after my drowning. The memory came back to me in my early twenties, then I was mainly curious about the facts surrounding the event, and making sure it was real. Now that I am older, I have assigned meaning to it. It reaffirms my belief that the soul does not die, but it does gain powers and abilities after it is free of our bodies.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Before I lost my twins due to a tubal pregnancy (and NDE) I was pregnant with them on Easter Sunday. It was a beautiful sunny day, after a long winter and a lot of rain. We had purchased property, and my husband and I were standing on the spot where we were deciding to build our house. Our three little boys were playing in the woods, and they were near the creek. Suddenly my six-year-old Matthew screamed, 'Mom! Jeremy!' We knew by his scream something awful happened to Jeremy. We could tell his scream came from the direction of the creek. My husband ran. Instinctively I knew, there was no time for me to run, I had to be there now. I stood frozen in fear, refusing to go see my son dead. I prayed to God, that he take my twins instead, and not my baby Jeremy. I said in my mind to Jeremy, in a prayer, 'Calm down, put your feet down, stand up.' I knew he had fallen into the water, deep from all the rain and that he had panicked, and was drowning. But it wasn't that deep. As I stood in the bottom field, crying and praying, I saw Jeremy come up from the creek, walk right past his dad, who had just reached the edge of the bank, and walk straight towards me, as if in a trance. His big blue eyes looked up at me and he said, 'Was you worried about me, Mom?' I said, 'Oh my God, Jeremy, you are my baby!' I knelt down, hugged him, and thanked God. Soon afterwards, I lost the twins. When Jeremy was an adult, I told this story for the first time. Jeremy was having a New Year's Eve party at his house. I was telling his friend and cousin about it. Jeremy overheard me telling it and he said, 'I remember that!' I looked at him. I was shocked. I said, 'You do!?' and he replied 'Yes, when I was drowning, I heard you praying. I heard you tell me to not panic, to put my feet down.' He said, 'That's what it was, the water wasn't that deep, but I panicked and thought it was a lot deeper than it really was, so I was trying to swim instead of just walk out of there.' His friend replied, 'That is a mother's love, right there!' After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I did not remember this at all, until my early 20's.One night I sat alone outside and looked up at the stars in the night sky, to relax and get away from a stressful party at my in laws house.Suddenly I was very relaxed and amazed at the beauty of the night sky,then suddenly this memory crashed into my mind. Soon after wards I went to my moms house,and asked her about it. had I drown when I was little in that pond? She looked at me oddly, as if she forgot all about it, and recalled it herself. She said yes I did, and said she thought another one of her kids died that day. I wanted to know how they found me, was I floating or what?She couldn't reacll. I went to my sister house, she recalled it as well, but couldnt recall how they found me. I went to my brother's house, he said he remembers he got in alot of trouble that day.Still he couldnt tell me either how they found me.The memory has not faded for me, ever since the day it came crashing into my mind.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I recall being around five or six and being punished by my dad by having to sit on the toilet all night long until everyone got up the next morning. The ring from the toilet seat on my butt was getting sore, and I was bored. I wished I could go out the small window high up the wall, at the edge of the ceiling that was above the toilet. I wanted to sneak outside and go play. Then I did and later I came back to my body. I saw my spirit climb out the window, and after a time, climb back in. I couldn't recall what I did while I was out there. Then when I was sixteen, I was kidnapped and raped. I knew my family would really hate me now for what 'I' had done. I wished I were not even in this world, on this earth, because nobody on Earth loved me. Suddenly I was out in space, among the night sky and stars, looking at Earth from a distance. There was a light shining on Earth. It looked just like the globe looks, blue for the water areas, and land areas; a circle, suspended in air. (Just like our souls are after they die.) Then I came back to my body and the rape was over. I did not have to experience that happening to my body because of this gift I feel I have been given, this ability. Of course, I didn't understand it as a gift then, it was a wish-come-true then. When I got older and no longer feared recalling the rape and kidnapping, when I could talk about it without guilt, I understood it.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The rage surprises me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After I recalled the drowning, I discussed it with my husband and mother and the two siblings involved. I have told some people since then. Mostly people look at me like they think I am weird. I guess they think I am lying, even though I am known to be a very honest person.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definately not real I assumed that it wasn't real at age five, and I dismissed it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know that memory is real, it came out of nowhere. It was very vivid and detailed and has not faded with time. If I had not recalled it, my family would never have told me about it. We are not close.
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