Penny S NDE

Experience Description

Firstly, I learned my lesson the hard way. I am now a huge advocate for NOT drinking and driving. I received a DUI for this accident and recognize that I was very lucky that I only harmed myself.

I don’t remember my actual accident of driving into the tree and what came after that. However, what I felt, wherever I was, and before waking in the hospital was very real.

In 2017, my older half-brother lost HIS half-brother in a tragedy. My brother and I share the same mom but have different dads. John was my brother’s dad’s son. John was 16 at the time he passed. My accident happened in 2018 when I was age 21. The first thing I was aware of in my unconscious state was being in a comfortable, dark space; or maybe it was an absence of space.

I remember feeling like I was returning home. Although dark, I was felt like being wrapped in a blanket of comfort, love, unity, and wholeness. I didn’t see him, but I felt John who was my brother’s half-brother. His presence has always been huge, in life and death. There were no visuals for me in this in-between place, but John somehow met me there. He told me without words, 'Our older brother cannot handle the loss of another sibling. You have to go back.' And then I woke up in the hospital.

Instead of feelings of pity, shame, and disgust with my decisions that had led me to driving into the tree that night, I felt almost a rebirth. I knew with certainty that I can no longer live life the way I had been living. My previous choices didn’t benefit me, my life, or those of the people who cared about me most. I put my head down, healed from my injuries, and went through my DUI classes. My counselor told me that I was one of 2 of her clients that had never missed a day. I have sworn to myself since then that I will never be the reason that I or someone else is in danger. This experience has changed me entirely. I am no longer scared of death or of heaven or hell. I know now that good people are reunited with those who love them on the other side. The whole point of everything is to love and be good. I don’t know where the bad people go, but I know for sure they’re not where the love is on the other side.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 07/23/18

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident CPR given Other I was unresponsive and they said they had to 'bring me back.' I was under the influence and drove 50 MPH into a tree with no seatbelt on

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I felt things that I can’t describe. Almost a knowing? Feelings that we can’t feel Earthside. And wherever we were we spoke without words.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the dark place

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual There wasn’t really time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I couldn’t see where I was

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing everything and nothing at the same time?

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My half-brother's half-brother, John, who had previously passed

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place A spaceless, dark, floating space. I described as being covered in a huge blanket

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Complete, safe, comfortable

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe When we die, we go home.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No I was aware that John had passed

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I had to come back for the people who were still alive that loved me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes They haven’t changed per say, but my spirituality has gotten much stronger.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I didn’t know what to expect. I live very spiritually now in connection to the universe, but have never felt called to any religion. I grew up with this deep dread of death and tried hard to push any and all existential questions about it far from my mind.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Don’t lie. Don’t make selfish decisions. Be the kind of person you would look up to. I was a liar, a thief. No one trusted me. I wasn’t a good daughter, sister, or friend. I’m doing everything in my power now to be better at all of those things.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No I was shown/told that I had to go back and I believed that it was John showing/telling me

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Just a knowing that we aren’t ever alone and that we’re way more connected to the other side than any of us realize in life. Where we came from before birth is where we return to

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt a given purpose in knowing I had to come back for my family. To no longer live selflessly, but instead purposely and through honesty and love.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Love love love love. Love is the answer to everything

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes When we die, we go home.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes We as humans are meant to share life together and to support one another, through suffering and love, Happiness and hardships. We are meant to find a core group of like-minded others to get us through our most unbearable times and to truly love and be loved with no contingencies or expectations.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The answer to everything is Love

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Before my car accident, I was generally not a good person. A lowlife going nowhere and always self-destructing. I’ve always been intuitive and empathetic and often feel the energy of others more strongly than I feel my own, and this was very painful for me growing up. Now I embrace my intuition and move through life knowing that everything happens for a reason. And to put good into the universe, you are more likely to receive good back. Karma is a very real thing. Do as to others as you want done to yourself, and all that. Love fiercely.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Closer with my family. Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I don’t remember the accident itself; I was on pain meds in the hospital so I don’t remember the week or 2 after the accident very clearly. I remember the spaceless space and John more clearly than anything else going on at that time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have really vivid dreams. Also found out I have cyst on my pineal gland. My sense of Deja vú is stronger. I’ll have moments of Deja vú that I can immediately identify as 'I had a dream of this exact moment 2 years ago.' I feel my passed relatives a little more. Never visual. Always a feeling. And often this feeling is accompanied by emotion. For example, I visited my grandpa at his Mental Care Facility and felt my grandma, who has passed, in the room with us. A psychic gold light washed out the room and I felt immense joy, as if my grandma was happy we were all there visiting him. I also always KNOW the gender of baby before anyone else does.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? To live not in fear, but in love! That is Huge!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I think I finally told my older half-brother about John at Christmas 2023 when he told me he and his wife are having a baby. He is hard to read so I’m not sure what his true reaction is. I’m very open about my accident and experience with everyone so my boyfriend, parents, friends all know and they believe that I went through something very life altering. My parents have also seen me turn into a new, polished version of what I used to be so they know that whatever I went through was very real for me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I know it happened because I could still feel the experience in the core of me. I knew that the person who got in the car was not the same person who woke up in the hospital. It’s like I needed to drive into a tree to get my head screwed on right.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I’m still living selflessly and with purpose to love.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

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