Peter F Probable NDE

Experience Description

After four years of fighting cancer. my wife passed away on June 10, 2021. The next day while talking to my kids I started crying hard and got choked up. I could feel my throat constricting and breathing was becoming more and more difficult. I think my eyes where closed because I don't remember seeing anything at the time. When I couldn't breathe anymore I just gave up and found myself in a void.

There were no sensations at all, nothing to see, hear, feel, etc. I had no thoughts at all, just the deepest and purest sense of peace I ever felt. I had a vague sensation of going somewhere but had no way to tell where or how. I had no perception of time so I can't tell how long I was there. That was all there was in the void: a feeling of complete inner peace and vague movement to somewhere.

At one point I started to hear my kids crying from afar and begging me to come back. I could feel them hugging me. The sounds and sensations started very faintly and got stronger and stronger. Eventually I came to and started breathing again and I found myself on the floor with my three kids covering me, sobbing and hugging me.

I felt like I made a choice at that point to stay in this world for my kids.

I also lost any fear or worry I had about death. I look forward to it but for now my kids need me and I am on a mission to understand what happened to me.

My wife was the love of my life and we spent 15 years together. I always had the thought in the back of my mind that if I ever lost her I would die of heartbreak. I wonder if it was wish-fulfilment that I did die. Of course, I can't confirm I was clinically dead but it certainly felt like it. I've also done many psychedelic trips before that (cannabis, psylobin, extasy) and have never had an experience that intense.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: June 11, 2021

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Heart break after my wife's death. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) My wife died the day before. When I had my experience I stopped breather and gave up on life

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes before coming back to this world I heard and felt my kids I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I had none of the distractions of living (sounds, emotions, thoughts)

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? when I was in the void

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I had no sense of time at all. No idea how long it lasted.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. there was nothing visual to see

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. there was nothing to hear

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain don't remember how I got into the void or out of it

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? no emotions, only a pure sense of inner peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Spiritual, I believe in a higher self and that this reality is one of many we "live" in and that all my selves are connected to my higher self.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had expected either ceasing to exists or go somewhere... I did not expect a void.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I confirmed to myself that there is something after death

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience the experience is burned into my memory, mostly I think because I keep thinking about it. The rest that happened just before on that day and the months after are a blur because I was I don't really want to remember them.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? that it is possible to love someone so much that you can die of heartbreak

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes several months. He believed me and encouraged me to learn more about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes From various sources: books, films, articles, etc. I am very curious about all subjects. I don't know if it affected my experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real as something real that happened

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm %99 sure I was dead for a while.. but it could have been my brain tripping, who knows?

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes once, during a period when I was smoking cannabis every day, and while meditating I found myself in a void. But in this case I still felt a vague attachment to my body and I could think and feel. I could think of any question and the answers came to me. I had no sense of time.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? all good