Philippe M NDE

Experience Description

I experienced an NDE from being in an accident in Nepal, on the night of October 31, 1989.

I had left to do a trek in Nepal and try to go to Tibet. At the time this was more isolated and difficult to access at that time. I arrived in New Delhi directly from Paris. After a few days in India, I traveled by alternating train and bus to the Indo-Nepalese border. It was a difficult crossing because both countries were in conflict. I had to wait until the end of the day to take a bus to Kathmandu. It was thus planned that I would arrive at my destination in the morning, after a night of travel. I was sitting next to a French-globetrotter with whom I had become friends with during the hours of waiting at the border. The coach was old. It was full and packed with luggage all over, even on the roof. We stopped in a village for dinner at the beginning of the night. Some travelers preferred to stay overnight in a hotel on site to take another bus the next morning.

My new French friend suggested that I stay on site, because the night road was not comfortable. So he stayed, I kept going. The road was not paved and was very bumpy and difficult to sleep. We were crossing the foothills of the Himalayas, the bus was climbing to reach Kathmandu, at an altitude of 1500 meters. After a while, the bus stopped. We were told get off the bus on the side of a mountain, in the middle of the night, because the bus had broken down halfway between India and Kathmandu. After a long wait in the cold night, a consensus of fellow travelers, was for us to join a nearby minibus. I climbed onto the roof of the broken-down bus to get my bag. I hadn't noticed that the driver was tryng to restart the vehicle. When I arrived on the roof, the driver started the engine. The shoulders of the road were not well stabilized. I felt the bus started to shake and then quickly tipped over. In a fraction of a second, I realized that the bus was falling into a ravine and me with it!

When we hit the bottom of the river, I was thrown downstream. My first thought was, 'It's really too stupid to die at 25.'

Then, I had the feeling of shifting into another dimension and feeling a new perception. Very quickly, I saw my life flash before my eyes. At the same time, I had the strange impression of another perception of time, where I could dwell on the details of my life, despite everything was happening very quickly. The effect was comparable to an action scene in a film in hyper-slow motion. I was concerned about my life review, but terribly distressed at the thought that my parents and loved ones were going to be very unhappy about my passing. I was hyper-conscious with a completely different perception of time and 'space.

Then, I continued to think that it was cruelly unfortunate and terribly sad for them. But an idea, an almost sweet sensation was slowly settling in: it didn't seem so bad to die after all. I felt a powerful and unique love; a universal bliss. At the same time, I fell to the ground, after a fall of about ten meters. The events seemed to be happening in slow motion. I had time to ask myself, 'Am I alive or not?' while realizing that the bus was falling on me. Oh no, that was it!

At that moment, I saw myself leaving my body and crossing the bus which was lying on its side with me underneath. I felt a strange sensation, pleasant and familiar, as I floated above my body and seeing the scene perfectly. While being attracted by a white light in which I felt the presence of souls / benevolent beings approaching. No more suffering. It was a moment of calm and absolute fullness. I was drawn to a dazzling, warm and reassuring point of light. The movement accelerated. I was traveling in a luminous tunnel, accompanied by soul presences. I felt like I knew them well; as if they were part of my close family. I discerned a human and luminous appearance. They were beings of light.

I felt like I was returning to a place, in a dimension that I knew well, that was anchored deep inside myself. This powerful sensation of returning to a familiar place struck me. It was like an obvious fact, 'This is our real world, our home! ' I felt so good; I have never felt so good. It was overwhelming. This moment in my memory seemed both fast and almost eternal. I was gone. Attracted by the light and the tunnel, I floated in space while moving very quickly. The sensation was wonderful. Words struggle to describe this moment; these feelings of harmony and eternal love. I also had the feeling of having access to an infinite knowledge. Everything seemed simple, clear, and obvious to me. It was as if I instantly and naturally possessed a universal knowledge beyond understanding.

I was slowed down in my ascent, at the threshold of what seemed to me to be the 'entrance' to our 'real' world. It was sweet, bright, joyful and wonderful. My attention was drawn in parallel by the scene of my body under the bus which already seemed a little distant and almost anecdotal to me. Several souls / familiar beings were gathered between me and this 'entrance'. I received information, directly within me, like several clear voices, 'No, this is not the time for you, you must come back.' My vision immediately switched to the earthly scene. Then, in a hyper-rapid and brutal way, my mind returned to my body as if it had been connected to an elastic band. It had the effect of a bungee jump, upside down. The feeling of life coming back to me was abominably frightening. I had a hyper-lucid vision of the situatio. I was imprisoned and blocked. My limbs twisted and crushed between the vegetation and the heavy vehicle. I had survived, but was stuck deep in the Nepalese jungle, under a bus, at the bottom of a ravine.

I felt totally desperate and terrified. I had nothing left to do but scream when I heard voices. I could no longer see anything with my eyes. But I contemplated the situation as if with a third eye, qne as if I were levitating. I felt that people were above me. They had been able to enter the bus that was lying on its side. It was as if I saw them with a sort of 360° vision. I knew I was stuck at a window of the bus and that there was a chance of getting out. They had to break the window and I needed to free myself by cutting the vegetation (branches) that cushioned my fall, with a saw. A Nepalese engineer and a Belgian traveler who were on the trip took over the operations, under my instructions, to try to free me. They were helped by locals.

It took a long time. I managed to give instructions to people who seemed much more panicked than I was. I had a very clear mind and tenfold vision of the situation. My rescuers were a little lost, hesitant, certainly impressed, and in a state of shock. At one point, it even seemed to me that they were going to give up because the situation seemed too complicated to them.

I felt extremely lucid, determined as never before. I knew exactly what I had to do to get out of it, I had taken charge of the operations. With my face crushed, my mouth full of earth and mud, I spoke loudly and confidently. I had a knowing that I was certain to get out of it. After several hours, they finally managed to extract me from the space under the window by breaking it. I was slumped inside the bus, lying on my side. They wanted to carry me. But it was impossible because my condition did not allow me to. Once again, I gave instructions, 'Take apart a seat bench and use it as a stretcher to get me out of there.' They finally carried me onto the road. I began to realize that I was in a lot of pain. I was amazed when, lying on the ground, I saw dozens of faces of Nepalese farmers and passengers standing out against the blue sky in the early morning. They smiled at me and applauded. It was a wonderful feeling and I was very touched. I was crying and knew I had made it. I was then transported and taken care of in the Japanese hospital in Kathmandu.

I was supported by two wonderful people, the consul and the doctor from the French consulate. Despite severe pain, I quickly learned that I had 'only a few broken bones' and nothing really irreparably broken.

In my hospital room, I first experienced a moment strange, unreal, my mind wandering between the feeling of my near-death experience and my return to real life.

I felt good, helped a little by the opiates prescribed to relieve the pain and by the incredible feeling of having come back from very far away. Then, in a few days, I completely regained my senses. I was certainly encouraged by the many people who came to visit me (caregivers, expatriates, other patients).

The story of the accident spread. Even in Nepal, getting out alive after being crushed under a bus is not very common. I was perhaps seen as a kind of 'miracle'.

I stayed almost a week in Kathmandu before being repatriated by a doctor in Paris. I was completely recovered in a few months. I then resumed the course of my life as if nothing had happened.

During the first years after the accident, I still talked about it when my friends who sometimes asked me to tell others about my 'adventure'. When I told my stories, I minimized the NDE phase, because I could see that it was difficult to be understood, or even to be taken seriously. I almost harbored a slight feeling of shame about it. For everyone, and even for myself, I was very lucky. What I felt, experienced, was only a hallucination, a manifestation of my brain, certainly bombarded with endorphins to cope with the shock and pain. That's what I thought, not being very spiritually inclined, I almost forgot what happened to me for 33 years.

Deep down, I have not completely forgotten. I sometimes wondered what my life path must have been, that if I had been 'spared' it was to do something in this world. Even if I put it aside, the spiritual dimension of my misadventure was nagging at me more deeply than it seemed. I didn't find any meaning for 33 years, and I felt a bit like I was missing out on something. I always felt a certain guilt and a nagging sadness. And on the other hand, I always felt a bit like a spectator in my life, not always 100% involved? I realized, a few years ago, that this posture must be linked to what happened to me in Nepal. Indeed, I remember that before my accident, I was a little more in touch with the outside world, less detached, more involved. Nevertheless, in the eyes of others, I am perceived as someone resolutely optimistic and positive, sometimes bordering on excess. Then, at the end of October 2022, my wife read an article about the release of Dr. Christophe Fauré's book, 'This life and beyond.' Strangely enough, despite my torments and my adventure, these subjects did not particularly interest me. I considered them rather as part of somewhat esoteric practices. Without really knowing why, almost on a whim, it seemed obvious to me that I had to read this book. I bought it the next day, the day it came out. Once the book was in my hand, before going to the checkout, I realized that, to the nearest day, it had been just 33 years since I had my NDE. As soon as I started reading the book, I felt a little strange, completely connected to what I was reading. I was very moved by the testimonies and above all, I had a kind of revelation, a shock.

In a few hours, I quickly felt that a part of my mind, my 'external' consciousness was present and connected. I discerned that it was a little dissociated from my mind/spirit. The end of the book mentions post-materialism and the notion of universal consciousness, which I had never heard of. Suddenly, these notions seemed very familiar to me, it was obvious. Since then, I feel like I have had a liberating and pleasant experience, which has connected me a little more to others and at the same time been more in tune with myself. Oddly enough, I feel like I have been 'awakened'.

As soon as I finished the book, I began to explore the subject and discovered an abundance of literature, studies and scientific experiments. I read books on quantum physics, as well as more popularized works, even a little sensationalist. However, I found the work of Sylvie Déthiollaz in 'Voyages aux confins de la conscience' particularly interesting and quite serious. Her approach seemed really sincere to me. I began to feel this form of external consciousness, more or less strongly. I developed my intuition, although I previously thought it was an invention and that everything we experienced was just a coincidence. I believed that we were alone in our minds and that we were only connected to others out of interest, and that feelings were only chemical manifestations linked to our survival.

Operating as a kind of self-analysis, these discoveries also made me understand that I had a tendency to victimize myself, to lock myself in certainties a bit mortifying. What is most surprising in this awareness is the ability I have developed to better understand and feel others. I do not read them, but I am better able to understand their intentions and know where they are in relation to themselves and their peers. I have already been able to see a positive impact in my professional life, a better ability to concentrate, more sustained attention and a better capacity for work. As a matter of course, I am convinced that we must help people who are suffering following an NDE, the loss of a loved one, in palliative care, or who are living bad negative experiences through altered states of consciousness. The most disturbing thing is that it seemed to me as a kind of evidence, a bit like an outside voice was guiding me, 'Philippe, you should do something, you must put your skills at the service of these suffering souls.'

I am convinced that I need to take action. It is not easy to do it alone in my corner, even if I have the methodological expertise and the technique to establish a roadmap and set up a successful project, I need to bring together a community. Driven by this new energy, I decided to bring together a community of experts (and/or aware people) to drive a project, as a kind of platform for resources, sharing and exchanges. This platform could undoubtedly be useful for the scientific community and certainly valuable for the many people who are suffering. Also for people who are looking for answers to what happened to them (during an NDE or altered state of consciousness), like those who need to exchange, share, grieve, try to understand.

2024:

Since then I have testified on a video platform https://youtu.be/8wEo3oc8uBY?si=yk9F12CdVaMbFZJH

I created the site emiste.com

I created the podcast: 'why die and come back': https://emiste.com/podcast

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 10/31/1989

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Life threatening event, but not clinical death. A bus accident in Nepal. I was stuck under the bus for several hours before being rescued.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I felt that people were above me, they had been able to enter the bus which was lying on its side. It was as if I saw them with a sort of 360° vision. I knew that I was stuck at the level of a window of the bus and that there was a chance of getting out: that I had to break the window and free myself by cutting the vegetation (branches), which had probably cushioned my fall, with a saw. A Nepalese engineer and a Belgian traveler who were on the trip took over the operations, under my instructions, to try to free me. They were helped by locals.

It took a long time, I managed to give instructions to people who seemed much more panicked than I was, despite my position. I had a very clear mind and a heightened vision of the situation. My rescuers were a little lost, hesitant, certainly impressed and in a state of shock. At one point, it even seemed to me that they were going to give up, that the situation seemed too complicated to them.

While I myself felt hyper-lucid, determined as never before. I knew perfectly well what had to be done to get out of it, I had taken charge of the operations. With my face crushed, my mouth full of earth and mud, I spoke loudly and confidently, knowing that I was certain that I would get out of it. Then, after several hours, they finally managed to extract me from the space under the window by breaking it. I was slumped inside the bus, lying on my side, they wanted to carry me. But it was impossible, my condition did not allow me to. Once again, I gave instructions, 'dismantle a seat bench and use it as a stretcher to get me out of there'.

I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. My level of hyper consciousness was such that I also had the feeling of having access to an infinite knowledge, everything seemed simple, clear, obvious to me. As if I instantly and naturally possessed a universal knowledge beyond understanding.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I began to be caught up in the tunnel of light

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. This moment in my memory seemed both fast and almost eternal, I was gone. Attracted by the light and the tunnel, I floated in space while moving very quickly. The feeling was wonderful.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. 360° view

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember it particularly

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Described below

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain No people I could formally identify, but extremely familiar people. More familiar than in my own family.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At that moment, I saw myself leaving my body and crossing the bus which was lying on its side with me underneath. Strange, pleasant and familiar sensation, I was floating above my body, seeing the scene perfectly. While being attracted by a white light in which I felt the presence of souls / benevolent beings getting closer. No more suffering, it was a moment of calm and absolute fullness. I was attracted to a dazzling, warm and reassuring point of light. The movement is accelerated, I was traveling in a luminous tunnel, accompanied by presences, souls. I felt like I knew them well, as if they were part of my close family. I discerned a human and luminous appearance, beings of light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I felt like I was coming back to a place, to a dimension that I knew well, anchored deep inside myself. This powerful feeling of coming back to a familiar place hit me, it was like an obvious fact: 'This is our real world, our home! ' I felt so good, I have never felt so good. It was overwhelming!

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, immense unconditional joy, but above all the very strong feeling of going home.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I also had the feeling of having access to an infinite knowledge, everything seemed simple, clear, obvious to me. As if I instantly and naturally possessed a universal knowledge beyond understanding.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events I had a fairly quick life review, did not dwell on it, especially the feeling that I was judging myself.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Several souls / familiar beings were gathered between me and this 'entrance'. I received information, directly within me, like several clear voices: 'no, this is not the time for you', 'you must come back'. My vision immediately switched to the earthly scene, then, in a hyper-rapid and brutal way, my mind returned to my body as if it had been connected to an elastic band; the effect of a bungee jump, upside down.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I do not believe in the dogma of religion which for me is a cultural filter between our incarnation and the afterlife. However, I am convinced of the existence of the other dimension, to which I feel connected (in a very succinct and incomplete way). As if we could access this dimension, like an energy field. I also understood the meaning of our life. Living by loving others, connected to our world and to universal 'consciousness'. I feel very peaceful, happy to live and want to help others.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had no beliefs before my accident, and about life after death, for me we were born from nothingness and left in nothingness. Unconsciously I may have had a premonition but it is difficult to say today.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin , I was traveling in a luminous tunnel, accompanied by presences, souls. I felt like I knew them well, as if they were part of my close family. I discerned a human and luminous appearance, beings of light.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Specified question 32, As if I was absolutely convinced that I had already lived in this place, or rather as if I were originally from this place. Our 'real' home

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes very clearly. This place seems to be both inside us and outside. I quickly had the feeling that we were restricted and that access to this place was infinitely richer than our earthly life. Without limits, of time, of space, we travel at the speed of thought. It is an incredibly gentle, benevolent, luminous world, words and adjectives are sorely lacking to describe it.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain Rather a kind of group of lights, beings, souls of consciences. Not necessarily a particular being but like a council of souls that come together in an entity. something supreme yes,

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes As I was saying, what amazed me the most in the experience was this feeling of knowing this 'place' better than our life on earth, it was incredible. As if I had already lived in this place, or rather as if I were originally from this place

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain As if I had acquired infinite knowledge about everything. Very strange feeling of having all the data, explanations, knowledge about everything and that it was enough to focus my attention on a particular area to know everything in real time, without even asking a question

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain Yes clearly because I had to return to my injured body injured under the bus, I immediately understood, brutally, that I must have a mission to do something, but I did not understand for years, before integrating the experience 33 years later.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I suffered psychologically (mild chronic depression, loss of bearings) for 33 years before integrating my experience. Since I realized it, I decided to turn to supporting others, I left my job, trained in the profession of coaching. I wish to support people who suffer from experiences of altered consciousness, specifically NDEs I also created the site: Emiste.com and a podcast: https://emiste.com/podcast

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes See detailed testimony

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A greater sensitivity to others, intuition, I anticipate the reaction of others more easily, sometimes I observe phenomena of clairaudience and clairvoyance.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes At the beginning I started telling it. But in 1989 in France no one was ready to really hear this type of experience. The most important thing is that my accident was incredible, I was called the miracle survivor and what was remembered was more the circumstances of the accident than the experience that I did not tell because I saw that people were not receptive. Since I integrated it in November 2022, I talk about it easily and people are more receptive

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I felt embarrassed, because as soon as I talked about it people reacted quite badly, either they minimized, or did not listen or took me for a 'crazy', so I stopped telling it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I always thought that my experience was real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes, after my NDE, for about ten years, I experimented several times with many drugs: MDMA, LSD, Cannabis, opium, Morphine. It is important to emphasize that for me, having experienced all these different altered states of consciousness, there is ABSOLUTELY NO RELATIONSHIP WITH AN NDE.

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