Rachel R STE

Experience Description

When I was about 17 years old, I went to bed one night after begging God to let me leave this life. I had been experiencing depression and anxiety for several years and was miserable. I had also been experiencing heart-related symptoms, such as racing heartbeat and angina.

After falling asleep, I suddenly left my body. The next thing I knew, my spirit was hovering above my physical body that was still lying on the bed. It was the most freeing feeling I have ever had. Being in spirit form felt so light and airy as compared to the heaviness of my earthly body. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I had the thought that I should look for a way up, where I might find a tunnel or something more. I lingered in my closet and looked for a hatch. No hatch. Then as I bobbed back out into the main room, I was met by a group of 3 to 4 spiritual beings waiting in the corner. They were glowing brightly. I recall they were wearing white clothing, somewhat like tunics or robes. They were wearing sandals. But I could not make out their faces and did not know who they were. We were all about 3-4 feet off the ground.

In a moment, a far brighter Presence came forth. The light coming forth from it was so overwhelming. As I drew near to it, it wrapped me in its love and peace. This feeling was like nothing describable here on Earth. It was so reassuring. It left me feeling as though nothing I had ever done in the past or would ever do in the future could weaken it. I also came away feeling that this Presence loved all people, that one's religion did not matter, and that religion was only meant to be a tool to become a more loving person.

While being absorbed into the Light, I knew there was communication going on between us. There were no words, only spirit to spirit communication. However, I cannot tell you what exactly was said. I understood at that moment that I was to return to my body because my purpose had not yet been fulfilled.

When my spirit reconnected with my body, I shot up in bed. I was clutching my pounding heart. I kept wondering if that experience had really just happened. But it was the most 'real' thing that had ever happened to me and I could not deny it.

After that, I started reading books on NDEs and was surprised to find similarities between my experience and those of others. I only told a few people who happened to be part of my church. I was told to be careful, as Satan can masquerade as an angel of light. So, after that I kept my experience mostly to myself.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. Death wish before going to sleep. Other: It happened while I was asleep. When I came to, I shot up in bed and my heart was pounding. I had heart-related symptoms due to anxiety and depression at the time of my experience.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I just felt more alive, more perceptive to extra-sensory communication, etc.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was embraced by the Light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I had no sense of time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Normal vision, but everything was more illuminated.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Normal physical hearing, but during the experience communication was non-verbal.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes So bright and beautiful. So peaceful and loving. Embracing. Absorbing. Bearing all knowledge and totally unconditionally accepting.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first, I was unsure of myself and what to do. But once the beings entered the scene, I felt reassured. Once the Presence of Light entered, it was awesome and indescribable.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I was told it was not my time, that I must reenter my body because there more for me to do.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Had been attending a fundamentalist Christian church for a few years at that time.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I church-hopped for a long time, and never could find a place that contained that same spirit of loving acceptance that I had felt. So I have been disappointed and go through periods of no church at all. They just don't get it.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. I'm still a Christian, but am extremely open-minded about life. I find it difficult to attend church anymore. I am currently not going.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was consistent in that what I experienced (if it was God or Jesus or from God) was unconditionally loving. But it was inconsistent in that it contrasted with fundamentalist Christian ideas that only Christians get to experience this acceptance. In my experience, it was understood that religion was just a tool, which conflicts with claims by certain religions/churches that their way of thinking is absolute truth and adherence to doctrine is required for salvation. How the spiritual beings in the corner were dressed did remind me of figures from the Bible (wearing tunics/robes and sandals).

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe that God does not judge us by our chosen religion. I now understand religion to be a tool rather a source of ultimate knowledge about life and the afterlife. I had compassion before my experience, but it was reinforced by my experience.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin 3-4 spiritual beings that were glowing as well as the main spiritual Presence that was totally encompassed by light. All brought positive feelings, but those from the main Presence were overwhelming.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I was aware that the main Light (aka Presence) was either God/Jesus/etc. or from God.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew that the Light had communicated with me, but I do not know what was imparted other than that I needed to return to my body. But it felt like there was a deeper message placed deeper within me that was veiled.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes Yes in that when I was sent back to my body, I was told that it was not yet my time. My time meant to me that life continues on after bodily life on Earth is ended.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That love was for everyone, not just people of a particular religion or faith tradition. That it was unconditional, not based on what you had done or not done.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I am much more open-minded about people's faith choices. I don't claim to know it all, and don't believe any one religion is right. I also believe that some things considered negative by some religions are much more benign than is taught. My experience did help me get through life with more hopefulness than I had had before it, and I often look back on my NDE during times of difficulty. I am not afraid of death now, only of pain that might surround it.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The Light (aka Presence). The love and peace were beyond words. They were eternal and perfect.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It was the most real experience I have ever had, and I retell it in detail from time to time. Something like that just sticks with you.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The unconditional love of the Light and the lightness of the spiritual body. I can't wait to bathe in that love again and lose this anchor of flesh.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few days. It was not received how I had hoped. I was told that Satan can appear as an angel of light and to be weary of such experiences.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. For a few days I was just in shock and kept wondering if it had really happened. But it was unlike anything I had ever gone through before and just could not put adequate words on how I felt. But the more I read about the experiences of others and reflected back on it, the more it made me realize that this most 'real' experience did actually happen.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real After those first few days, I have never wavered in my acceptance that it was a real experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am so grateful to have had it. We have so much to look forward to, and when life gets rough down here it is quite a comforting recollection.

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