Rachel S NDE

Experience Description

I was in terrible, shocking pain for two days. Unknown to me, my fallopian tube was bleeding internally. My general practitioner told me to get to the Doctor's surgery. I could barely walk or stand up. I should have called an ambulance but I was young and naive. I sat and waited to be seen. Then my mother said, 'You're deathly white. Is the pain really bad?' I replied, 'It's so bad, I want to die'. Then I nearly fell from my chair. The receptionist helped me to a back room and I sat there with my Mum. Then I turned toward my mum and although I had never ever said so before, I felt I needed to say, 'I love you Mum.'

Then the pain stopped completely and I was above both of us looking down. I remember seeing the kidney shaped medical tray and scissors on top of the wall cupboard. I didn't go through a tunnel, I just remember that I had no body or sense of what I was anymore. I was 'feeling' a sort of decision-making crossroads, thinking, 'I can't die now because my husband needs me.' I'd only been married for two months at that point. I wasn't at all scared and I heard no voices. I didn't see anyone. I only had this sense of what would happen next was within my control.

Then I was in an ambulance, being given oxygen and the paramedic was trying to keep me talking. The pain was acute again. I found out I had lost 7 pints of blood and my veins had completely collapsed. If they'd not gotten me the oxygen and rushed to the hospital where I was operated on as an emergency, I would have been very soon dead.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 27/11/1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Internal haemorrage from Ectopic Pregancy rupture Life threatening event, but not clinical death A hemorrhage was occurring (unbeknownst to me) due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my Mum and myself in the chair below me and I saw a kidney shaped tray with a pair of scissors in it on the top of a wall cupboard. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Not sure if it was any different throughout.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I don't know how long I was 'out of body.' It didn't feel like all that long.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was the same as normal

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There wasn't any sound of which I was aware.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It just seemed to be in a place of nothingness. I cannot remember anything there at all just like being in a blank white space with nothing there at all.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Just a strong 'pull' to 'return' to myself and to be with my husband even though prior to the event I was in agonizing pain.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I just seemed to feel differently than before the event.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I have already said that it was my decision to return to life because I was worried about how my husband would be without me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I wasn't sure if there was a God, as such, just a Universal life force, which I think, might be in us all.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No I am uncertain if God exists

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I understand I was only minutes from clinical death so I felt that just before that, I was removed and then I was out of my physical presence. I am certain if I didn't want to return, I could have chosen not to return. So I think I would have moved into another plane.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt love for my family and for my husband and was deeply worried about leaving him, so the strength of my love seemed very strong.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I love to help others more. I became a Social worker. I went on to have two children and have tried to be a good Mum and understand them and all my family and friends. I see the good in everything, I appreciate every second of my days, and I fit in far too much, because I never forget I probably shouldn't be alive at all.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My marriage broke down with my first husband, as I don't think he really understood the different me.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It is as clear today as it has always been - crystal clear in my mind - it is a pivotal moment in my life that stays with me always. I can't remember much of the detail of the rest of my life at that time, however.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have had premonitions and strong feelings about world events such as the 9/11 bombings, and generally seem to know what's going to happen by knowing what's coming in advance.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just that it changed me radically, forever, and I think I am a much nicer person now.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I asked my Mum about the kidney dish on the cabinet top. I didn't tell anyone else for about 15 years and I don't generally tell people in case they think I am a bit mad.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was quite ill afterwards having lost so much blood, and so I didn't really think about it and tried to forget it happened, as it made me feel quite anxious and a bit crazy as there wasn't much understanding from my close family about anything like that.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Because the kidney dish was there, I found out later and I had to nurse my husband back to health as he nearly died a few years later, himself so I think that was why I was needed.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No