Randall M NDE

Experience Description :

There is a blank spot, after I hit my chin on the marble counter. Everything was black, but I could hear every word of the three to five people in the area. I wondered why I couldn't see, then realized my eyes were shut. I opened my eyes and looked down from the ceiling at a scene of mayhem. Someone was lying on the floor - I couldn't see whom - and three people, two females, one male, were on their knees around the person. A nurse ran up with a push cart. Someone was calling out blood pressure numbers; the last set I heard was '35 over 15'. I got bored; it looked like a TV show. I turned around (on a horizontal axis). That was when I realized I was 'floating', because I wanted to go forward and turn left down a hallway, where they had told me my room was. I tried 'swimming'. That didn't work, but just thinking I wanted be someplace got me there. Not instantaneously. I just moved through the air without effort. The hallway was short. There were only three doorways; two on the right side, one on the left.

Straight ahead was a lead-paned, partial stained-glass window that looked down on a courtyard with a fountain and pond. After looking in my room, I looked out the window on the fountain and pond in the bright sun light, thinking my daughter would like to sit by it with me and talk; I didn't have a daughter at that time. I had no children. I also thought the area should be better taken care of and cleaned up, and that I would donate some money to do that. That was when it went black again, and I felt like someone jerking me backward. I got angry. I was very angry when I opened my eyes and discovered I was on the floor. It felt very cold and hard. The attendant who took me to my room, asked me where I went. This was out of the blue, because I hadn't said anything. I was too angry. I told him, and told him about the window and courtyard. He said, 'So, you've been in this hospital before.' I said 'No. I haven't been in a hospital since I was born.' He said, 'They bricked over that window in the 1940's, during the war; it let too much light out at night.'

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 07/25/68

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Criminal attack Direct head injury I had been hit with a blackjack on the right side of the head several times, breaking the orbit of the eye. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was without heartbeat and respiration for nearly 5 min. 30 sec.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Very much like my best days. Totally alert, awake, but relaxed.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just about all of it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Neither

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither It was different - that's all I can say, different.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Neither

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The sun was very much brighter. I kept expecting it to be glaring and hurtful, but it wasn't. I heard and saw everything around me, but could filter and center my attention better.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Don't know. I wanted to go out the window to the courtyard. Even though we were on the fourth floor, I felt totally safe to do it.

Did you see any beings in your experience? Neither

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes They were unclear, and I was self-absorbed and uninterested. They were at a distance, even though they were only four to five feet away; they were unclear.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain THE LIGHT???? I don't know. Light, yes. Everything was very normal, but there was sense of rightness about everything. Everything was as it should be.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Neither

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace (I know it's not an emotion), joy, anticipation (not an emotion), a sense of power, control (not an emotion), uncertainty (not an emotion) anger.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? United, one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither

Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither I just know certain 'little' things about my life, and others' lives. There is a deeper awareness of others' emotions even when they are covering them, and better reading of non-verbal communication.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? Neither

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist I was a non-service attending, but deeply believing Roman Catholic.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I don't think it's so much because of this. I probably was headed down this path anyway.

What is your religion now? Liberal I am Buddhist/Christian. I practice the eight fold way, and occasionally got to a Christian church.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I don't think it's so much because of this. I probably was headed down this path anyway.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Neither

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes But I lost it when I came to.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Afterward, yes. I became more accepting to others feelings, and more open to them.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I don't know if my sense of future (as simple as 'Don't turn down this street, take the next one. And there's a traffic tie up.) is psychic or good intuition.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not really. It was the sense of peace, and togetherness that was important.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only four people. It was easily twenty years before I spoke of it. One person was actually a discussion group of five, but I was speaking to only one. The three individuals are my wife, and two of my children. It just never seemed to be something appropriate to talk about. Reactions were mostly disbelief, I thought, or shock.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real. I didn't know what had happened. I did not accept my dying. I thought I maybe had got delirious and gotten off the gurney and was walking around and they had to bring me back, and they said I was 'gone' to be polite.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It has never faded or altered in my remembrance. It is very real, and I feel that where I was very close, but I can't reach it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is real. Some things changed. My handwriting totally changed for about a year. I became quieter, more detail oriented, and analytical.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Writing in two dimensions cannot adequately describe the experience.