Raven W NDE

Experience Description

School had just let out and I was spending a little extra time in the cafeteria with a friend and my mom. We were getting small candies and such from the after school sale before it was time to head home. My friend and I were lagging and my mother, who was at the other end of the large cafeteria/auditorium, called to us to hurry up. I popped a jolly rancher candy into my mouth before my friend and I decided to race to the door in order to catch up.

About halfway to the door I looked back to see how close my friend was when I suddenly hit something solid that knocked the wind out of me. I realized upon turning around/doubling over that I had hit the edge of a long brown cafeteria table. When I stood up to catch my breath, I suddenly couldn't breathe.

I struggled for several moments attempting to breathe as I watched my mother (unaware of what was happening) walk out the cafeteria doors. All I can really remember thinking was that I couldn't breathe and that I needed to call to her. I knew I needed help and if I couldn't get her attention, I was going to die.

You must understand that I was a child obsessed with, but terrified of, dying. I thought about it often enough that on the drive home from church one Sunday afternoon (a few months before this accident), I had a very visceral and terrifying vision of Hell and insisted my parents drive me back to the church right away so that I could be saved immediately. I was so insistent (and practically hysterical) that it couldn't wait so my parents complied.

At any rate, I saw my mother walking through the doors and I tried to call her but I couldn't because my voice wasn't working. It was as if I couldn't push the sound out. I started to feel more light-headed right before I did my best to make a small noise.

Then I remember falling backwards in slow motion and thinking how much it was going to hurt to hit the ground. However, before that happened I very distinctly felt a pair of hands on my back. Hands that caught me and gently set me on the ground much to my relief because I remember being ridiculously worried about knocking my head on the hard tiled floor (I had a tendency to dwell over details a lot as a child).

This is where there seems to be a skip in time or something because the next thing I knew, I could suddenly breathe again. While I remember sitting up, I don't remember seeing anyone or anything around me.

I was sitting cross legged on what felt like a solid platform though I couldn't see anything above, below or around me except a solid endless white with several floating mini-televisions that had nothing but static on them. There was some white noise from the televisions but it wasn't overly loud or annoying, just there. I felt like the platform I was sitting on was rising (like a slow moving elevator) and I was going up though there didn't really seem to be anywhere to go to.

I felt nothing. Not happy or sad or confused, just ease. As if everything was fine and this was all perfectly normal even though I knew it was all very wrong. As if consciously I was aware that something wasn't right but I didn't care. Perhaps because this is not at ALL what I had envisioned death or heaven to be like so there wasn't any alarm or thought to the fact that I was potentially dead.

Then before anything more could happen, I felt a pull. Like a dropping sensation in the pit of my stomach akin to the type you get on a roller coaster or when you fall in a dream. I remember falling and then I remember opening my eyes and sitting up. I was coughing and surrounded by people asking me if I was okay and my mom was at the center of it patting me on the back.

Then I just felt disorientated.

According to my mother, the events unfolded more like this:

She was on her way out the door when she heard something and turned to look back at me. She noticed I had stopped at the edge of a table for a moment before I suddenly 'dropped like a rag doll' to the floor. Evidently, my head bounced off the ground and that's when she and a few other people started running towards me. Being a licensed nurse, she immediately started to investigate the situation. It was apparent that I wasn't breathing and that I must have choked on something.

She sent my friend to go call 911 at the office (because common cell phones were still a dream away at the time) and to tell the staff it was an emergency. Teachers and staff gathered around us because, as it turned out, none of them had ever had any training for the Heimlich maneuver or CPR (this later turned out to be a very big deal). Being the only one with official training, she immediately began to practice the Heimlich on me and after several tries; she managed to dislodge the candy that was caught in my airway. At this point, my lips were blue and I still wasn't breathing, additionally she noted my heart had stopped when she checked. Slightly panicked, my mother began to perform CPR and after several compressions and mouth-to-mouth I started to breathe on my own.

A couple of minutes after I regained consciousness, the principle came back with my friend to see if it was a 'real emergency'. He had erroneously not allowed anyone to call 911 in the event that it was not a 'real emergency' and so no ambulance had ever been dispatched.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Spring of 1992

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suffocation from foreign object (candy) lodge in throat. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) You mean other than my own? No.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was all very much the same except for those two points in which I fell backwards from the table and 'woke up' from the experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Other than the unusual pair of hands on my back and the distinct feeling that someone caught me at the moment I fell backwards from the table (which apparently no one had), there was no one. I was alone and I was okay with that because I felt like I was on my way to go meet someone important (God?)

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I should clarify that while there was WHITE all around me, it wasn't bright as much as it was blank. It was light in the aspect that I could clearly see my surroundings and myself but there wasn't a specific light source (or much to see for that matter). Nothing was overly light or glowing or bright at all.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was in a white void with random televisions sets but it didn't seem like a separate location as much as it seemed like an elevator or place of passage.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Perfect calm, I didn't really feel anything at all. Not happy or sad or confused, just ease. As if everything was fine and this was all perfectly normal even though I knew it was all very wrong. As if consciously I was aware that something wasn't right but I didn't care.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate I had recently (just a few months prior to the accident)converted to Baptist Christianity. This included having a baptism before the accident.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain This experience did not have any part in my loss of faith. At the age of eight I decided that if (according to my religion) someone as good as Gandhi could go to hell for an eternity, then I was clearly believing in the wrong thing. I became skeptical of all organized religion and slowly began to base my belief system off of what seemed like the right and good thing to do. As mentioned before, a cornerstone of my believe system is that there is an afterlife and this experience helped mold that aspect of it. Naturally there are other elements that factored in as a result of the experience as well.

What is your religion now? Liberal I am a Mystic following a Universal religious structure.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain This experience did not have any part in my loss of faith. At the age of eight I decided that if (according to my religion) someone as good as Gandhi could go to hell for an eternity, then I was clearly believing in the wrong thing. I became skeptical of all organized religion and slowly began to base my belief system off of what seemed like the right and good thing to do. As mentioned before, a cornerstone of my believe system is that there is an afterlife and this experience helped mold that aspect of it. Naturally there are other elements that factored in as a result of the experience as well.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I became very in tune with when loved ones pass away. An overwhelming urge to talk to or see a loved one (family or friend) will suddenly overcome me and I will almost always find out later that (within minutes of this feeling), the loved one passed away. Because I was so young I'm not entirely certain if this started before or after but I started seeing things no one else could see (spirits, auras, energy, etc.). Eventually a variety of other 'gifts' (I lose this term loosely) developed and became more prominent over time.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not in the way you might think. I base what I believe in off what I know and when I lost my faith in Christianity, I held tight to the idea that there is an afterlife. One of the cornerstones of my loosely defined belief system is based on this single experience. Because while I cannot quantify what other people have seen or feel, I can certainly examine my own experiences and what I know to be real. It helps that I have a photographic (and particularly strong sense) memory which has burned these images and experiences quit clearly into my mind for the rest of my life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my mom what happened almost right away but she didn't seem to care much so I didn't say anything until five years later when I told my step-grandmother who took me very seriously. After that, I only talked about it with, perhaps, five other people who varied in their reactions. I'm a skeptical person at heart so I don't like sharing these things because I know exactly how I would react to the story.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Being a child, the reality of what happened never fully sunk in until I was much older. My family didn't show interest in discussing it with me past the initial happening nor did they have me seek any kind of therapeutic or medical attention after the event. It was as if the entire situation was an embarrassment on their parenting skills and they didn't want to expose that to the world. As far as I was concerned, the whole ordeal was just another experience in the list of strange events that had happened in my life.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real As stated above, I have a photographic memory combined with a very strong sense memory. As in, I am very clear on what I feel (emotionally and physically) as well as what I see, even years past the experience. More so if the experience is traumatic in any way. What I felt and saw during that time is logged into my memory bank as something real and concrete. Or as real and concrete as any other memory I possess. My feelings on it is that it happened and it reshaped me in ways that I didn't realize until I was much older. I base what I believe in off of what I know and when I lost my faith in Christianity, I held tight to the idea that there is an afterlife. One of the cornerstones of my loosely defined belief system is based on this single experience. Because while I cannot quantify what other people have seen or feel, I can certainly examine my own experiences and what I know to be real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Not really. I feel like everything I wanted to say, I've said.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You should probably have a question regarding the person's state of mind before and after the experience.