Richard E NDE

Experience Description

On the afternoon of September 21, 2021, I fell ill at work. I was experiencing chest pains, shortness of breath, and numbness. I tried to walk, and suddenly collapsed. Paramedics arrived and treated me and stabilized my pulse. I was transported to a hospital emergency room. I was awake and responsive.

Shortly after being admitted to the hospital emergency room, I went into cardiac arrest. The staff began CPR immediately. When my wife arrived, my body was limp and I was unresponsive. I had an intense feeling of conflict and chaos. I struggled to know what to do and had no idea of what was about to happen. Suddenly, I was lying down and convulsing. Moments later, I was feeling the chaos again. I would find out later that this was the first time I was shocked with a defibrillator.

I started to feel a peace off in the distance. It is difficult to describe. Imagine the site of morning or evening rays beaming from the clouds. That type of light and the majestic feeling that sight provides were on one side. Yet, I could feel my wife needing me on the other side. I felt torn. I felt like I was in chaos.

Suddenly, I was once again convulsing in out-of-control agony. I had been shocked a second time. Moments later, the feeling of chaotic conflict returned. It was even more intense than the first time. I could feel my wife calling for me. But, I was tired of the chaos and I just wanted peace.

I started to move towards the lights; when suddenly, Grandmother appeared before me. I asked her to take me away with her so the chaos would end. She smiled at me. She raised up her hand and wagged her index finger back and forth. ‘No, no, no, Ricky. You have to go back’. Ricky was her pet name for me. I responded, ‘I don't like this.’ She said, ‘I know.’

Suddenly, I was convulsing again. This time, I was present in my body and looking up. I had been shocked a third, fourth, and fifth time.

Oddly enough, my wife said from her perspective, there was no chaos or conflict in the room at all. It was quite the opposite. It was organized, methodical, and orderly. CPR was performed for 55 minutes. I was shocked a total of 6 times, with the last shock to correct my pulse.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 9/21/2021

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Heart attackCPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was aware each time I was shocked with a defibrillator. I knew my wife was near me. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. I felt about my normal alertness throughout most of the experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In between being shocked

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. After each shock, it was cloudy, but then became clear after a few moments would pass

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It would be loud yet muffled, then still, as if I felt more than I heard things.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I moved into what I would describe as crepuscular rays. That is where I encountered my grandmother.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my grandmother. She passed away in 2013.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes. Crepuscular rays

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place As I moved towards the light, I felt like we (my grandmother and I) were floating in some sort of room, but the walls were light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, frustration, confusion. When I decided I wanted peace and saw my grandmother, I was happy and ready to move.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. When my grandmother told me I had to go back, I said ‘Okay’,

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I spent over half of my life as a Catholic. In 2008. I tried a few other Christian churches. None of them really connected with me. I have spent the last 13 years being more spiritual than religious. I practice gratitude daily.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes In my mind, there are only three possibilities for what happened to me: 1) The Catholics have it right - our loved ones are waiting for us and we will be reunited with them in heaven 2) The universe knew exactly what persona to take on to get me to listen 3) I hallucinated I go with #2

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes Every time I have told this story to someone, I quantify with my interpretation. Whatever is waiting for me after death knew exactly what person I would listen to in the next life to get me to come back.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I was always aware of my wife wanting me to ‘Come Back’

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am more patient. I am more understanding. I strive for deeper connections with the people I love.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am closer to my family members than I had been in times passed.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is very difficult to express the feeling of being torn and directionless. I start crying everytime I describe it in detail.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember the experience far more vividly than the hour before it happened. It will always be with me. The 48 hours following the experience are blurry, with some memories. That 55 minutes is pretty vivid though.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing my grandmother again. I miss her. Knowing my wife was able to make me feel her presence was awesome!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have shared it with multiple people. Most people call me Miracle Man or Mr. Miracle now. I remember this once I became somewhat alert again. I had not yet learned to walk again. A nurse was pushing me down a hallway to go to a lab for a test. She asked If I remembered what happened to me. I told her that I did. She asked me to share it with her, and I did. She began to cry. She thanked me, and asked if I needed anything. I said that I would love to feel the sun on my face. She pushed me into a courtyard and let me feel the sunshine for a few minutes.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was there. I know it was real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I was there. I know it was real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I get flashbacks sometimes. Particularly about being shocked.