Robin H NDE

Experience Description

I was a Deputy Sheriff responding to an active shooter. Upon trying to stop the offender, he shot me with an AK47. It felt like a bomb had taken my leg off. The bullet shattered my left femur, femoral artery and vein. Firefighters were on scene immediately. As I was bleeding out, I felt myself above the scene, a bright light surrounded my head and all I could see was 360 degrees of blinding light.

As I was above the scene, I could hear the firefighters working on me. I was peacefully confident that I wasn't going to die, but I knew they thought I was. I could hear but I couldn't see because of the blinding light. I felt very calm and peaceful. I kept thinking, and sort of telling my rescuers, 'I'm still here, I'm still here' at that time I had 'coded out.' But then on the way to the hospital, I was in and out of consciousness.

I later spoke with the firefighters who saved my life, and they told me at one point they thought they had lost me. According to medical recordsn I coded out again before the first of several surgeries. I didn't have another NDE.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 10-26-13

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) As a Deputy Sheriff, I was shot with an AK47 that shattered my femoral artery and vein.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I was above the scene with a strong sense of what was happening below, but nothing exceptional that I could verify later. I clearly left my body and existed outside it.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I can only explain the consciousness and alertness as pure peace and a confident knowing that I wasn't going to die, even though I knew it was a critical situation.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Soon after I left my body and was 'floating' above the scene, I was extremely aware of the bright light and how peaceful everything was amongst the chaos.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. As I was surrounded by light, there was no sense of time. I knew I had been shot and rescue was with me, but time stood still. I felt myself above them and there was no sense of time. Time definitely wasn't moving fast, and I felt no awareness of time. I think I was only in the light for 1 to 2 minutes.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could only see bright, blinding light, like if you stared at the sun, but it was in the back of my head and all-encompassing.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The sounds of the rescuers working on me were more in the distance than close to me. When I was 'speaking' and saying, 'I'm still here, I'm still here' it was more in my mind then coming out of my mouth. The firefighters later told me that I didn't speak at that time. I was motionless, with my eyes fixed open. I was apparently dead at that moment.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes 360 degrees of the brightest light you can imagine surrounded all of me. Actually, I was nothing but light. I was experiencing pure, bright light. I couldn't see anything but blinding light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? VERY PEACEFUL and CALM

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Buddhist. I always considered myself 'Spiritual.' Buddhism comes closest to describing what I believed in.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I'm still a very spiritual person. I definitely feel more love an compassion for others after the NDE

What is your religion now? Do not know. The NDE left me questioning everything. I believe in religion far less after my NDE.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Prior to the NDE, I believed that when you die you are rid of all worldly drama like ego, jealousy, anger etc. and you go to a peaceful place, or possibly get reincarnated. But now I don't know. I feel like I had a glimpse of the other side, and although it was wonderful, peaceful and calm, now I'm not so sure about reincarnation. I liked not knowing, but the NDE left me wondering even more what happens after. I wish the experience had answered more of those questions.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe all the more we need to be more compassionate towards one another. I thought that way before the NDE, but it is even more important now.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes The peace I felt was extraordinary. I returned from the NDE with intense compassion for humankind that I've never felt before.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I don't think the life purpose came at the time of the NDE, but after. I have felt different since the NDE. The main meaning that I took way was the lack of compassion people have for one another. During the NDE, I felt such peace and compassion that I was sad to return to not have others feel what I felt.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Unknown Uncertain My experience has left me sad because I didn't feel a sense of life after. Just a void.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes During the NDE, I was very aware that peace is within us, we just need to tap into it. Post-NDE I often close my eyes and put my face towards the sun (to reenact the bright light experienced) and try and recapture the feeling of blissed-out peace that I felt.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain The peace and calm that I felt did feel like I was in a safe loving place, but no specific information on love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. It has been almost 5 years since the NDE and I've struggled with depression quite a bit. Part of it is PTSD but I think a lot of it is related to the NDE. I spent almost 2 years struggling with alcohol abuse, even though I've never had a problem with alcohol before. It was never an issue. I hope to learn as much as I can about the NDE and hope I can better myself and help others that struggle with depression.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'll start with the good, I adore people in a way that I didn't before. I always cared about humanity and have incredible friends and family but the NDE made me love and appreciate them all the more! I want to hug everyone (I was a hand shaker prior to the NDE). The bad news is, the new me has put a huge strain on my marriage. My husband does not understand what I feel now, although I have tried to tell him about the NDE and how it changed me, but it doesn't matter. I have also become very sensitive to harsh words, even bright lights and sound, all of which annoys him.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's hard to describe the actual feelings. It was a relief to find this website and know others are out there who understand how difficult it is to capture the awe of the experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember details of the morning before being shot which is unusual because I had been a Deputy Sheriff for 15 years at the time I was injured. I can't recall any days like I can the day I was shot. I was shot at approximately 11:40 a.m. I remember everything about waking up that morning and all I did prior to being injured.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The most meaningful thing was the renewed value that I have for everyone and everything in my life. I have such a strong knowing of how quickly it can all be gone, and we need to savor and enjoy every moment. Unfortunately my husband can't relate to how I feel. Even though he almost lost me, it didn't have the impact on him that it did on me. It hasn't brought us closer, but has pushed us apart. I'm constantly torn between a feeling of bliss and sadness. After the NDE, I became extremely sensitive to all the world and our community problems.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I only heard of NDE from movies or TV, assuming that everyone 'Went to the light' and saw deceased friends and family.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely rea.l I knew in my heart I had a NDE, I had definitely been in a brilliant place and it was awesome. I also thought that maybe I was just in shock and that's why it happened. But I knew it was real and not just my body going into shock from the blood loss.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I know that it happened. I wish it would have lasted longer, or more amazing things would have happened. But I am happy that I felt peace and know that life is precious. I have a new sense of love for the people in my life, that was the best part.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain I'm not sure what the question is asking.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not at this time, it has been really helpful to talk about it. Thank you!