Robyn C NDE

Experience Description

I choked on my food at lunch and it was blocking my airway. Nothing I did, including drinking water removed obstruction. I couldn't breathe, speak, or cough. I messed around trying to clear my airway for some time but wasn't panicked. Fortunately, my boss was in next office. Eventually, I realized I needed his help so I started to take a few steps toward his office from my desk where I was eating lunch. As I took these steps, I felt my legs giving way while thinking that I must get to his office and pushed myself hard to walk. Apparently, I collapsed and fell backwards hitting the back of my head on the bottom filing-cabinet drawer. My boss heard the bang, but didn't take much notice for a minute or so. Then he called out but when I didn't respond, he came to check on me. He found me by the filing cabinet on my back with my face red and bluish colored. He was a big man and managed to pull me up and did the Heimlich maneuver on me four times before food obstruction came up.

The first thing I remember is floating up into a horizontal tunnel. There was a high-pitched buzzing sound in my ears but it didn't bother me. I felt an overwhelming sense of complete bliss and contentment and was overwhelmed by the intensity of these emotions. The closest way I can explain it is the sensation of feeling on your skin when diving into water and feeling the sensation of the water on your face. It is like complete involvement in all the sensory input you are feeling because you are in the moment and nothing else matters.

I was slowly floating forward but had no sense of time or urgency. I had only curiousity. I could see the light ahead of me and felt drawn to it but I was moving slowly and enjoying the wondrous sensations I felt. I turned my head back to look behind me and thought, 'oh, that is where I popped up into here.' It was like a white tunnel ending at the start of the tunnel.

I then turned back to face forward and became conscious of something happening to my right. I was curious but not in any hurry to check it out. It was like I was looking at the back of myself and I was aware that my body seemed to be looking at something intently. It was a strange sensation, like somehow I was separate from the me in the tunnel. It was like I was an obseveror of another me in the tunnel but the real me was a Being, feeling sensation. I find it hard to describe this as it seems quite wierd as I wasn't looking at the me that was collapsed on the ground. I was unaware of what had happened previously but was feeling interested in what I was seeing but was more interested in the wonderful emotions I was feeling. I felt that I should investigate it further but I was more interested in the tunnel and the emotions I was feeling. So, I thought that I will look at it later.

I continued to slowly float towards the light. There was no sense of time or need for hurry. It was like I could move at the pace I wanted to move at. As I got closer to the light, I became focused on that completely and wanted to get through the tunnel to the light. As I was nearing the end of the tunnel, I suddenly felt a sucking sensation and felt myself sucked back into my body.

When I came to after my experience, I wondered why my boss was holding me and squeezing my chest. I was unable to stand on my feet. I was confused, as I felt that it must have been in a dream and wondered how I had gotten to work. We never called an ambulance as he assumed I was o.k. once I had recovered. I was quite shocked and kept thanking him for saving me. Although, I was quite angry at being back in my body and thought that if I kept saying 'thank you,' that I would start to feel grateful. I continued to do my work even though I was very confused and found I had made a lot of mistakes in my work the following week. I left work an hour early and drove an hour home during which time I was able to analyze what had happened. I realized that I actually had died. I felt angry I was back and desperately wanted to be back in the tunnel to feel the bliss that I had felt there.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: May 19, 2016

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I choked on my food at lunch and it was blocking my airway.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain. I am unsure what the other body of me was looking at. It was like I was separated into two Beings. My body had feeling but the other body floating through the tunnel was thinking. I was conscious of my other self who was looking at something but I could only see the back of the head of this other body. I am a bit confused by this part of my experience. I clearly left my body and existed outside it.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It's hard to describe. It's like nothing was important except feeling the bliss and joy. It was like I was being allowed to analyze and accept the experience before I became aware of more things.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was high level of consciousness and alertness the whole time but I was gradually becoming more aware of things as the experience continued. I remember feeling very happy as I was getting to the end of the tunnel. It was like an expectancy,

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There was no sense of time, it was like it was limited to my acceptance of what was happening and I would slowly move on while becoming conscious of more and more things.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It seemed brighter and like I was visually aware of all that was happening around me.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The only sound I heard was a high-pitched sound, although I was conscious of the noise, it was just there and didn't bother me. Hearing wasn't a big part of my experience so it is hard to compare to what I hear normally

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

The experience included: Passing into or through a tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I felt myself pop up and into a a tunnel but it was a horizontal tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an Unearthly light? Uncertain. I just saw a light at end of a tunnel but it was inviting. I felt that I would see more once I got to end of the tunnel. It was like seeing brightness at the end of a tunnel that is darker than where I was heading. I was heading to that light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt extreme bliss, contentment and peace like I have never felt before. I felt completely loved and protected. It was like being in a bubble or cocoon where nothing could hurt or touch me. I was happier than I have ever felt before. This has been the hardest to deal with as I long to be back there. Reality on earth seems so bland in comparison.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. It was a sense of knowing but nothing specific.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion pror to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic. Previously I had been Christian, but over a period of time, I became agnostic around.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have a completely different view of God and religion

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Unknown

What is your religion now? Do not know. Since my experience, I have been more certain there is a God but this is different to what I had believed as a Christian. It is more like a force/energy/spirit.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Prior I had come to conclusion there was no hell as it didn't make sense that a loving God would punish us for being inferior. But I had moved to an agnostic view that God might exist or was unknowable i.e. somewhere else in universe. Now I know he /it exists in a different form to us and we are part of God but completely different from what I had been taught. It's a sense of knowing though I can't prove it

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes prior I had become agnostic but now I feel definitely there is a God but not like I had been taught. So I looked more into new age things and had a desire to know more about spiritual matters. I know I will go back once I die and look forward to it. I will complete the journey this time and welcome meeting, reconnecting, or merging with God in whatever form it takes.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain I just have a sense of knowing that life continues on. I had already believed this as a Christian previously but it's more a knowing there is a God but not in the form of what I had been taught. I know there is no judgment or hell. I just know whatever form God takes he loves us and welcomes us.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I just came back with a feeling that we are all connected on some level

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I could sense there was a force or God or energy and that was where I was heading to

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain just came back with a feeling that we come to learn

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists. It was a sense of knowing there was no death but life continues on in a different form

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Unknown

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I have brain injury after the event. Mostly, I don't care about life and don't feel emotion. Brain injury is taking a long time to heal so I'm not sure how much it affects my present perception. I had a lot of bad experiences in life prior to this so I am angry to be back here. I did not want to come back. I long to be back in the tunnel and complete the journey. It has been very hard to adjust and I think about what I experienced emotionally in the tunnel every day. I was always caring about people to an extreme. Now, I realize my life is about me and I am not here to be everyone's slave like before. I didn't want to be back here so I have a if I have to be here it's on my terms. I feel I have come back for a purpose but not sure what that is so this is frustrating. I don't react to things the same way because I have a detached attitude to life and feel that maybe we live in a simulated reality as life no longer seems real or important. The doctor was worried I might kill myself, but I explained I don't want to be sent back again. So although I am detached and long to be back in the tunnel, I know my time here isn't up. I am back for a reason, even though it makes me angry. The brain injury has made work difficult and I can no longer cope with the travel and staying away from home that I used to do. My job is harder as I have trouble reading and been diagnosed with neurological problems from concussion and hypoxia which makes my brain process information slower and react slower. My family says I am different but they accept me as I am even though I am detached from them and life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Prior I was always helping people to my detriment as wanted to be liked. I know now my life is my own. I am not here to be a slave but to learn. I still help people but not to same extent. I am more balanced and take time for myself. I know what people have done to me in past is their problem and not mine. I have understanding of their frailties so got over a lot of past issues and am not affected by them. I am not the same person I was.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was completely different from what I have experienced before or after the event. The intensity of the emotions was so much greater than what I have felt before. I try to liken it to things I experience here like the sensation of water on my face but that makes people think it was like swimming but it wasn't. It like trying to describe something that is not experienced here by comparing it to sensations here which are nothing like the experience

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was more real to me than anything before or after. Life itself fades into insignificance in comparison

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The knowing there is a God in some form and that life continues not because of a belief but because of an inner knowledge and something to look forward to. I want to continue on that journey and see what I didn't experience when I died this time

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with everyone who stood still long enough to listen. People were amazed and encouraged.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes. I had read a lot about it as I was interested in subject. I was surprised at the tunnel because it was horizontal and I expected a vertical tunnel. I was disappointed my experience wasn't as involved as some peoples NDEs, like I didn't get to the light but my experience is what it is and has changed me profoundly

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I can't explain how I know it was real. Some people say it was due to changes in brain when I was dying. But my answer is I was there and you weren't. I'm not saying that the brain doesn't release chemicals and etc. but I was more alive there than here so I know it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Nothing has changed in my view since the accident. It hasn't faded like a dream. I am still conscious of it like the link hasn't severed, although I am no longer there. Nothing compares to it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I used to be fearful of fast cars, speeding, and etc.; Not any more. I enjoy going fast in cars now. I also seem to have lost my fear of spiders. I find them interesting now. I am not scared of dying.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I can't think of any off-hand. Hope my answers are clear.