Ronnie E STE

Experience Description

Some background prior to sharing my story. I was raised by a father who taught me to be analytical and scientifically minded. I wasn't religious for much of my life and scoffed at many of the world's major religions. I believed strongly in verifiable, replicable, peer reviewed studies and put all my faith in science. I received my Bachelor's degree in engineering and maintained that analytical mind to this day. In 2015, I encountered some paranormal events (enough to write a whole book) while I was living in California and these events softened my stance on science as being the sole authority on all matters. I thus embarked on a search for truth and was scoffed at by many people in the scientific community, who refused to acknowledge what I had witnessed. Their arrogance towards honest paranormal encounters and questions only strengthened my resolve to search for truth. An elusive, historic pursuit as old as civilization itself. Like a curious child, I began studying all the world's religions and found nuggets of truth in most of them. I found a lot of peace in Christianity, its teachings, fellowship and morals and the idea of a single entity that is God, yet I still had major doubts. I was also avidly reading Buddhist scriptures which was opposed to a single God, but contained much detail about the paranormal/other world accessed via meditation. By the summer of 2016, I was even more confused, as the more I learned, the more confused I got. I was close to going insane and leaving for the woods to spend 40 days meditating because I was fed up of going in circles spiritually. This desperation led to a sort of depression and sadness and dejection that the truth was so elusive. I was asking the universe sincerely for answers, but all I got was a mixed bag of answers. This is the context for the following story.

It was a hot summer Saturday afternoon, around 4pm. It was my weekend so I didn't have much of a schedule aside from relaxing and trying to stay in positive spirits about my spiritual confusion. After eating some lunch and browsing through social media for a while, I decided to take a nap. This nap led to a vivid dream where I was in my apartment and it was really dark at night. The entire apartment was very dimly lit. I was in the living room mulling about the fact that I didn't know which direction to go spiritually. I heard my roommate rustling her keys to get in. Once in, she walked towards her bedroom. I stopped her and said 'Hey Jackie.....do you believe in God?' (by the way, I seldomly talked to Jackie in real life since our schedules were so different, so asking her such a deep question was a true sign of desperation). She looked at me and laughed 'God? Of course, I do!! Everyone knows who God is!'.....and with that I felt such an overwhelming sadness and I said '...then how come I don't know who he is?'

And with that I suddenly woke up, but not in this realm, but some other realm. I will try to explain the next sequence of events as best as I can, but honestly I am limited by language. Words cannot describe the experience. Our current understanding of time and space cannot grasp it either, so I will try to paint the best picture that I can. These next events happened within the timespan of about 2 seconds in human/earthly time.....but I remembered it with such detail as if time had slowed/warped.

I was suddenly floating above my body and I sensed a tether attached to my back, linking me back to my body. This realm was as real as this waking one we are all in, and I distinctly had the feeling of being awake (and not dreaming). I was immediately yanked up towards the sky at an incredible force and speed, akin to being on a hypersonic rollercoaster (if there ever was one). I was accelerating at such a fast speed towards what I assumed was outer space, that I saw stars (or little bright dots) around me warping and appearing like I was flying through a space tunnel. It was such an incredible velocity, to modern physics. Then I noticed that at the end of this tunnel was an incredibly bright light. This light got bigger and bigger as I got closer. As I approached the light, I suddenly began understanding. My fear turned to extreme comfort and peace. Suddenly, I went 'oh, of course......it's YOU', as if I had known this light all along.

I distinctly remember a few words that popped in my head during this experience. The first one was PURITY. This light had an incredible purity/innocence/honesty, which reminded me of a little child that had never committed any crime, never lied to anyone, the purity of being so sincere and honest. Have you ever seen how genuinely happy a child is to greet his father after coming home from work? That type of innocence and Happiness. Multiply that times a billion and you get the idea of how pure it was. The second word was LOVE. This light had so much love, it's hard to describe because the word love can only encompass what we perceive as humans. I can best describe it as the love of a mother, when you are a newborn, multiplied by a billion. A love that didn't judge, that forgave, that understood, that would embrace you with its entirety. This love had an incredible warmth to it that I physically felt as it radiated out, and I was basking in it and feeling extremely peaceful and safe.

The last word was HOLY. This light was so bright, magnificent and large, it was worthy of my awe and praise. In fact, I wanted to worship this light (and I am quite the stubborn man when it comes to praising things), because there was without a doubt in my mind that it was worthy, absolutely worthy, of my complete praise. I had never encountered anything close to it on earth, aside from small facets of it replicated or emulated in certain individuals. This light was unstained and uncorrupted, the inventor of what I would call morals, or everything good in the cosmos. As I approached this light, that I now knew was God, I knew that if I made contact with him there were 2 things that could happen. 1) I would never return back to earth and would officially end my earthly life 2) I would spend time with God, learn some more truths and then return to earth but my life would not be the same. There was no way I could continue life as a normal person knowing those truths. Both of these options scared me. I also felt really dirty as I approached God and felt like I had to repent of things I had done in my earthly life, simply because I wanted to look better in front of him (there was no judgement on God's end, I just felt like cleaning up, kind of like how you would before going on a date with someone you fancy). So I decided that I wasn't ready (in my head) and had the thought of 'no.....I'm not ready yet' and just like that, with the same force and velocity that I had gone up, I was heading back down, being pulled by the tether in my back.

I hit my bed with such momentum that when I woke up in this 'waking world', I found myself in slight midair on the rebound. I then got up and sat on the edge of my bed in deep contemplation for about 30mins. I was trying to recall all the events and began crying with Happiness, for I now had no doubt in my mind that God existed. I knew that that was where I was going after I died. I also knew that all humans came from and returned to this God. I now had an answer to my most pressing question, and I have had peace ever since then. On rough days, my mind goes back to the love and warmth of God, and knowing that at the end of the day, his love transcends everything. As cliche as that sounds.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 08/15/2016

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Sleep Other Sleep due to depression

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes For a brief moment before being pulled up, I saw my room and the surroundings. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness It wasn't different from my waking consciousness. I was definitely awake, but not in this world.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was at a high level of consciousness throughout the whole experience where I was awake in the other realm.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The events happened so quickly, I'm certain it was probably 2 seconds in earth time, but it felt like a significant time when I was going through it.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was about the same as in normal life, I didn't pay much attention to it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was about the same.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was actually stars, or little bright dots, but since I was travelling so fast, they warped into the illusion of a tunnel with a bright light at the end.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was very bright. It had 3 facets: purity, love and holiness. That's the best way I can describe it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was my understanding that I was in deep space, however, I can't be certain. It was definitely not on earth though.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Initially some fear, then extreme Happiness, love, warmth, peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understood that we all came from and returned to this light.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life As I approached the light, I decided that I wasn't ready yet and was immediately sent back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was learning about Christianity and Buddhism simultaneously and really confused about both and desperately wanting to know the "truth". I was determined to get to the bottom of spiritual truth.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I practice Christianity, go to church, fellowship with people in my congregation. It's the best place for me to practice what I witnessed.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I am currently a practicing Christian with the understanding that there is one true God and that Jesus personified the love of this God. Christians display the love and grace of God. The Bible isn't entirely accurate in my opinion and I don't enjoy reading it. I do believe in my heart that Jesus showed the world the love and compassion of that unearthly light I saw.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was consistent with my understanding of a single higher power God as depicted in the Bible, but inconsistent with the God described in the Old Testament. It was consistent with the love and forgiving attitude of Jesus. It was inconsistent with Buddhism's belief of no God or no soul, though one could argue that the light was a lower level Brahma. Buddhism is very deep and layered so a Buddhist could say there are many more layers to reality beyond the light, and they may be correct, however I can only attest to what I have experienced. Honestly, the closest religion that matches my experience is Jainism and the Jain view of the cosmos.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My values became more focused on being good and doing good and showing the world the love that I saw. I don't find much Happiness in unfruitful behaviors like drinking, smoking etc. that I used to engage in. I have found much joy in living a pious life.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I had an understanding that I had an existence prior to being here on earth, due to my familiarity with this light.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No I'm not sure about oneness, aside from we are all from the light and we return to it. In that sense, we are all from the same place.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Definitely knew that the light was God as soon as I saw it

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt that meeting the light gave me some insight as to what happens after we die.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No I'm uncertain because I was aware that there wasn't much meaning to life aside from emulating the light.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes Yes I had the awareness/understanding that we come from this light when we are born and return to it when we die. It was a familiar feeling.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was aware that no matter the hardships, at the end we are embraced in an indescribable love that will make you forget everything.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes that the love of the light was the most highest and purest form. We can only see small fractions or percentages of it here on earth. Nothing more than 10% of it is here on earth

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Since my experience, I am a practicing Christian. I am still not fond of dogma or doctrine, but rather practice my faith as someone who follows and emulates Jesus, who prays to the God described by Jesus and who lives a life of fellowship, worship, celebration, repentance and charity. Life has been abundant and joyful (even though not materially) but spiritually and emotionally. I am still an open-minded person; however this experience has given me a lot of peace and calm in my earthly life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Probably the biggest change. I seek to love fully and completely in all my relationships with friends, family, significant other. Selfless and compassionate. Unjudging, forgiving.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words are extremely limiting, the speed of the events, the size of the love, purity and holiness are not found in this world.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience This experience sticks out distinctively in my memory from the year 2016

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Feeling the love and warmth of the light was especially significant. It was a very nice feeling. Hard to describe.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my sister the night after it happened. I have shared it with a few friends since, but not many. Their reactions are that of awe, but they seem to forget about it rather quickly.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read stories online and in magazines. I'm not sure if it had an effect on my experience since NDE's seem to vary from person to person.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I definitely felt like the experience was real, as real as I feel typing out this response.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Definitely felt as real as it is being awake and living in this world.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No