Ryan S SDE

Experience Description

I believe the following summary will be a book some day. It relates to the passing of my daughter at the age of 18. It began with a miraculous vision I had in 2008 of a bright blue butterfly on a black background. My daughter had a rare and incurable illness. We had many years of medical care including surgeries, tests, hospital stays, and home care. (I will use my daughter's middle name, Noel, from this point on).

Noel had this magnetic way with butterflies. They would follow her, land on her, and find her in unusual ways. People that knew nothing of our developing butterfly story would send her butterfly cards, jewelry, and more. Once we changed to a new (for us) children's hospital (Nationwide Children's). When we pulled up to the parking lot we noticed the logo with butterflies, with the most prominent being a large blue butterfly. It was not quite the same as the butterfly in my vision, but it was God's way of saying, 'You are on the right track.' We also found out that this hospital had just recently updated their logo to include this butterfly prior to our visit. It was during an extended ICU stay in 2015 at this hospital that Noel nearly died, but a series of miraculous events gave Noel her best few years on earth.

My vision in 2008 was accompanied by intense prayer and fasting. At first I thought that it was God's way of saying that she would be healed. As time went by, it began to seem like healing would not come quickly, easily, or completely in this earthly life. However, we continued to see signs of the butterfly. We did see some miraculous events throughout the years that extended her life, but Noel's last year on earth was a series of challenges that required the kind of care that only extended her life, without improving her quality of life. A couple of new life-threatening issues came up and after Noel turned 18, she made the decision to forego major medical intervention.

She entered Hospice care in March 2020. She had a peace about her decision and was very content for most of this period of time. Her faith matured greatly during this time. We listened to a lot of streaming Scripture and praise songs (her choice). I played a lot of classical or sacred guitar by her bedside. On her last day, she seemed a bit agitated, so I just sat at the foot of her bed and nervously fumbled through her prayer page on Facebook while her mother stayed by her side in bed.

While I was scrolling and reading encouraging words on her prayer page an image of a blue butterfly--exactly like the one from my vision (except on a white background), popped up on my screen. I quickly typed to my friend who posted it (whom I had not seen in more than 20 years), 'That's the one.' He was living in Hawaii and I was in West Virginia. I had not seen or spoken to him since college. I knew he would ask me later why I said, 'That's the one' and I would be able to provide more details. He later told me he did not know anything about my vision or anything about my daughter's unusual relationship with butterflies, but he said he felt moved to select that image to send us at that moment. No words. Just an image. A month or so later, I went back and took a screen shot of the image for proof.

That in itself is quite interesting, but the final miracle of Hannah's life was the timing of her departure. While I was typing, 'That's the one' to my friend, my wife said, 'She just took her last breath.' I already knew this was the case, for when I saw that image of the butterfly pop up on my screen, I was filled with faith and peace--knowing that it was God who sent that image. My friend was just a conduit. The timing of the image was miraculous. I could sense her departure into the presence of God in a very real way. I did not see her go with my physical eyes in the same way that others with shared death experiences see. Rather, God gave me the kind of proof that I can show others with my saved screenshot and 12 years of amazing butterfly encounters.

I am approaching the two year anniversary of Noel's departure. We miss her just as much as ever. The pain of loss is very deep. I don't think anyone really gets over losing a child that they knew so well, loved so deeply, and cared for so attentively; however, the way this real life story unfolded give me supernatural comfort even now, while I am typing. I can still remember that blue butterfly in my vision so clearly, as if it just happened moments ago. It's as if the image was permanently seared into my consciousness. It is the only time in my life to this point, that I experienced a true vision from God. I never doubted this vision, although at times it was very confusing--b/c I misunderstood its meaning. It wasn't until it was time for her to be transformed from her old earthly body to her new heavenly state that the vision made full sense to me.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: May 28th, 2020

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. shared death experience with my daughter Other Shared death experience with my daughter

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal You can read the story, but this was a shared death experience--unique because of the timing of what was happening. At the moment of her passing, something was sent to me online. I was fully aware and in a heightened state. The kind of thing that would give you goose bumps.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the time of my daughter's depature.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual Just the moment of her passing and the moment I received the image, time seemed to freeze and then picked back up.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. You have to read the story

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. no difference. This was visual.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes my daughter

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, joy, and grief, all at once

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No Just a previous vision

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I am a Christian. So was my daughter who passed in my presence under Hospice Care.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes As a minister and teacher, my content focuses much more on heaven, the afterlife, and how thin the veil is between heaven and earth even now.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience While the timing of the event was shocking, the nature of the event was not surprising. It was more like an 'aha' moment in which a previous mystery suddenly became really clear.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am truly not afraid of death now. While I am not necessarily signing up on the next bus ride to heaven, I am truly at peace with what lies ahead.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Well, I didn't, but my friend that sent an image to me from 4 time zones away was in tune with my vision from 12 years prior.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes, for the same reasons I explain in my story. My friend was connected to what was happening with us. He was in Hawaii while we were in West Viriginia.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The timing of what happened gave me a sense of absolute certainty of God's presence.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew when the blue butterfly popped up on my screen that it was exactly like the one from my vision 12 years prior. I knew without a doubt that it was God's message. I knew without a doubt that it was no coincidence that it happened when and the manner in which it occurred. I knew without a doubt that Noel's existence was forever changed for the better and I could sense the release of her spirit from her body.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I knew right away that it was meant for me to retell this story in as many ways and to as many people as possible.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. I received an image that was identical to an image of a vision I had 12 years prior.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Yes, God's love is real. There was a tenderness in the way in which my daughter Noel passed from this life to the next.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am bolder, less fearful, and more driven to help others in their own faith journey--especially those dealing with suffering or the loss of a loved one.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. The days and hours before, and the time after this seem somewhat foggy already, but that. We were sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted. But this special moment is crystal clear in my memory.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have had dreams since the event that involved a visitation from my daughter. These dreams seem very real. One involved here returning from heaven. I kept asking her in my dream what heaven was like. She responded with a peaceful smile and with a sort of mental telepathy (?) communicated to me without using her voice some of what heaven was like, but mainly was just telling me, "You will see, you will see." It was also as if she was telling me, 'I cannot reveal all that I know to you now.'

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? From the vision in 2008, to her departure and my friend's post at the exact moment of her passing, to the lucid dream that was more like a real visitation, I now see all of life on this side and the other as inseparably connected.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My wife was in the room when it happened and I showed her immediately the image. That is when she said, 'She just took her last breath.' I did not hold back, but immediately began telling friends and family. I called the man who send the image a couple weeks later.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had no doubt at the time of the event that it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have yet to have any doubts that the experience was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes dreams

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There are many more details about the butterflies, but none that pertain directly to the events of that particular night.