Sally J Possible NDE

Experience Description

At age 16, I had attempted suicide by taking an entire bottle of pills with with half a bottle of long island ice tea (an alcoholic mixed drink). In the early afternoon, I turned my phone and lights off, and then laid down in my bed.

I remember the nothingness. It was all black but it felt so peaceful and comforting, like the best sleep a person could ever have. Before waking up, I heard a voice telling me to get up. The first time was just a calm directive with a simple command, 'Get up'. The second time, it was shouted. I heard, 'GET UP!' I could hear it in my ear as if someone was standing right next to me trying to wake me up.

I slowly woke up and when I checked the time it was after 8:30 pm. I had multiple missed calls and texts from friends who were trying to make sure I was okay. My whole body hurt and felt like I was slowly trying to pull myself out of quicksand. I quickly ran to the bathroom and vomited whatever was left in my stomach. One of my friends alerted my mom. She came over and then took me to the hospital. When I told the doctor what I took, they fed me charcoal to absorb the poison. He explained that there is no way or reason that I should be alive and sitting right in front of him talking.

I never met, heard, or knew my bio dad, I only had two photos of him. Years later, I had found my biological dad's side of the family. My grandma showed me a video of him talking to her and the rest of the family during a holiday dinner. I immediately recognized the voice as the one who yelled at me to wake up.

I have only told this to two other people and I know it sounds completely crazy to remember the voice but I cannot forget it. The idea of death, or whatever I experienced, is a double edge sword for me. The deep sleep feeling was the most relaxed and calm I ever felt. At the same time, I'm not conforted knowing that could be all there is after we die.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 6/24/2006

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose. Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal. It felt like after the second get up I was just scared awake out of my sleep but then it felt like my whole body was in pain and felt impossible to physically get up.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Right before I woke up.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no vision, just a black void. It was like a deep meditation or coma.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My mom and brother said that they came into my room multiple times to see if I wanted to eat dinner. I did not hear them or anyone else.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Nothing. I felt very calm and peaceful.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? No comment

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes. Much later in life I started to meditate and discovered Thelema.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths: Thelema.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. It was nothingness. I guess if there was anything else, it felt like I had no thoughts or voice. I could not speak wherever I was.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. The voice spoke in my right ear saying get up. I did not see anyone or anything.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Unknown. Everything was just black and it was totally void.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life. I continued having serious depression and a drug addiction for years until I finally sought help. I felt more depressed after I woke up because I enjoyed the deep sleep so much. I also had more fear of death because it was sad to think that nothing came after this current life. I have gotten sober and am in therapy. I have been on medication for depression for a long time now. The fear is still there some times, but after starting to meditate and practicing Thelema more, I have slowly started to become okay with the idea.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain. It seemed like after the event, it was very uncomfortable to be around people because it was like I felt their emotions very strongly.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I only, recently, spoke to two different people about what happened. One was a friend of mine a few years ago and she had mentioned having a similar experience after she had attempted suicide as well as a teenager. She said she saw her grandma who she was very close to as a kid. Her grandma told her that it was not time yet, but only after she was in a dark void for what felt like forever.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I almost drowned when I was 6 years old. I do not remember what happened or anything after that for a while. Actually, I am missing a few months or time after that.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It felt real. The way my body felt as I woke up, I am convinced that I had to have been dead for a short period of time or was extremely close to it. I had a hard time walking after and felt so confused, like I did not even know my own home.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain