Samuel E NDE

Experience Description

When I was 12 years old, my neck and head were injured in a freak gymnastics accident. I had tried a move on the asymmetrical parallel bars by dismounting with a back salto from an underswing using the legs. I slipped from the bar halfway during the swing and my head whipped backwards on the ground with the weight of my body following. My thought process, or consciousness, remained uninterrupted. I went straight from thinking briefly, 'Oh, this is not going right. OH NO!' and feeling the pain of impact with the ground, to experiencing an empty, pure black void. I couldn's see, hear, or feel anything. There was no dimension or sense of time.

I had no body, which baffled me. Then I realized that I was 'pure thought.' How could that be? As I continued to ponder my reality, I started wondering if I had died and if this was what being dead felt like. I was simultaneously amazed that it was possible to still exist as mere thought without a body. I was curious about what this place was how I got there. I was also terrified that I had just left behind everything I knew and cared about; implicit in that realization was that I couldn't return. I noticed that thinking in the void was effortless. So, I started trying to 'feel' around using my thoughts. Perhaps, I could still be able to send commands to my body if I thought hard enought. I attempted to yell. This didn't seem to work.

Yet, at the same time, my thoughts 'bumped' into external presences that I could sense because I felt thoughts were not my own. These presences communicated with me wordlessly, as pure conceptual thought and emotion. They were surprised to see me and disapproved of my being there in the void.

And just like that, I had a body again. My neck was slightly sore as I was lying on my back. The physical education teacher was very angry with me. The teacher was holding my head steady and calling my name. The rest of the class was standing in a wide circle around us. I could feel everyone's emotions as if they were mine. Their feelings were emotions ranging from detachment from the situation, to concern, to various intensities of panic, to a sense of unsure emergency. I remember feeling that my teacher felt guilt, relief, sadness, and reflective anger that all evaporated as I started moving my legs to sit up. I don't remember the rest of what happened very well. I think he gave us all a stern, yet relieved, lecture against acting reckless and trying gymnastics without his help. I remember crying uncontrollably, while not understanding why.

Though I do not recall the exact date and only approximately the year, the immediate circumstances of the accident have stayed in my memory ever since. It felt like a veil had been momentarily lifted from my eyes, as if I had 'truly' woken up for a moment, before returning to an earthly daydream I thought of as reality.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Direct head injury. It is unclear whether I truly died or for how long. I do not know if CPR was administered. To this day I still consider that the accident was fatal. Yet I lived, and I have no explanation for why I did not stay dead. Also, it was neither the first nor last fatal accident I experienced over the years, though it was the only time I found myself 'outside' of existence.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Thinking felt effortless, like being perfectly awake or more awake than should be possible.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While in the void, my thoughts felt effortless, frictionless, and could expand without apparent limitation along different trains of thinking, without confusion.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There was no perception of time in the sense that sequences of thought reached their conclusion instantly. Different trains of thought happened simultaneously.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no physical perception. There was no dimension, and sight was a meaningless concept.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no physical perception. There was no sound, it was meaningless there.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I found myself in what seemed to be outside of existence, a conceptual place of nothingness with no dimension, sense of time, or physicality.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I initially felt perfectly at peace. Only when I started thinking about my situation did I simultaneously started feeling amazed by the experience of being pure thought, puzzled by the place and situation, and terrified at the loss of my life.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will .The decision was not mine. The entities on the periphery of my awareness authoritatively expelled me from the void.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was raised in a seldom-practicing Christian family, and received religious education, which I considered as moral guidance in the guise of fairy tales on par with Santa.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I am currently a devout Discordian, as the result of a mostly-unrelated, intense religious experience I had later (in my 20s).

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience At the time I was unsure that there was any deity at all, understood consciousness as a materialistic phenomenon, and assumed that death was oblivion. Existing as pure thought with no physicality was a baffling rebuttal of these beliefs.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I became aware of the thoughts of entities that were not myself. These entities expressed, wordlessly, their surprise, concern about, and then disapproval of my presence in the void.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain The entities I met did not feel like deities. They felt and expressed themselves in an authoritative, administrative manner, though they did seem to care about my situation and were willing to resolve it.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. It was only an implicit deduction from my existing as pure thought without a body that it is at all possible to continue to persist beyond physical death.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life The event started a slow long-term process of reconsidering the meaning of my existence, which caused me to come to the conclusion that I did not like the self-centered, antagonistic person I was turning out to be in my teenage years. It helped me come to terms with the emotional abuse I had received from my parents, and determine to become a better parent to my own children.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Though I do not recall the exact date and only approximately the year, the immediate circumstances of the accident have stayed in my memory ever since because of the intense excitement and surprised dread I felt in the instant, and my episode in the black conceptual void also remained because I experienced it with what felt like more than even my full attention.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I sometimes experience brief snapshots of my future life in advance (déjà-vécu), typically while waking up. However this was already happening before the event. I seem to have gained a very keen empathetic sense from the accident, although it has dulled in my later adult life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I described this experience for the first time on Reddit a few days ago, after becoming aware that it may very well qualify as an NDE. The random strangers who commented it all reported it had distinct qualities recurrent in NDE reports.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My limited understanding of NDE, formed exclusively from the odd TV show, at the time, was that of finding oneself walking through a tunnel with a bright, mysteriously attractive light at the end.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I had quickly switched from the realization that I was dead, to the realization that I was back among he living, with no transition, no explanation, and no understanding of anything I had just experienced. I was left baffled with no one to turn to for answers. Because I was raised by a denial-prone mother and an absent father, and was frequently gaslit or had my concerns and feelings routinely disregarded at home, I had long learned not to share any unusual experience, voice out feelings or ask difficult questions, so I did not discuss the topic with anyone and did my best to never evoke the accident. I had echoes that the PE teacher tried to start a discussion about my health with my parents but was immediately denied. As a result, I kept the experience private to myself only, as a puzzling memory that I knew has been real but could not be discussed openly, until nowadays.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real As I have been reading other people's reports of similar experiences which are independently recouping details of my own, I lean in the way of evidence, that this was indeed real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain