Sanaz G NDE-Like

Experience Description

Before this experience, I had a couple of unusual meditation experiences. When I was nineteen years old, in a yoga class, I had felt a presence come to me in a very small way. But that experience of presence was completely different from the one I am describing here. After that meditation experience, I got busy with university and courses I was taking and forgot about meditating for ten years. When getting my Masters degree in nano-electronics, I developed clinical depression due having put so much effort into my thesis without getting any results. For six months did nothing. My husband went off to work while I spent every day alone at home. Although I don’t remember the exact date, my experience happened during this six-month period.

I used to take afternoon naps. I was alone that day. When I woke up from my nap, I tried to get up from the bed, but couldn't. I put my hands on the bed trying to get up, but got stuck in that posture. The afternoon sunlight was lightening up the room through the curtains. The light looked as usual, but this time it was alive. This light was a living entity and had a vibration, or flicker. I could feel its waves and its soul. I felt like something inside me was trying to connect with this light. I don’t know what it was—something in the center of my body. Then, without any reason, suddenly an overwhelming love encompassed me. I could feel its warmth. I learned a remarkable thing about this love. A knowing came to me that it had no reason for loving me—and yet it did! And it was a raging love, like it was erupting from a source. I was both very happy and amazed, but I also felt so overwhelmed by this level of love that I could not bear to be in its presence.

My awareness / consciousness started to grow. I felt like my consciousness was going outside of the room. I was still in my body, but my consciousness, awareness and knowledge had expanded from the room to the outside world—to the streets and neighborhood, on and on, and to the entire earth. But it stopped right there, and didn’t go beyond earth. An example of the nature of my awareness and feelings during this experience was that I had a sensation on my face of a nice ocean breeze which was coming from across the globe. I had a feeling of freedom and peace. It was strange—these concepts and words had been beyond my thought system and my beliefs. Now “freedom” has become something that I understand exists outside of my mental construct. Same for “peace”.

While these events were happening gradually and my consciousness / awareness was expanding, time didn’t exist. I had an altered perception of past and future. It was like past and future were fixed discs and I could see them both at the same time. When I noticed that time had stopped, I asked myself, "How is this possible? How can time stop? This is impossible!" I am a skeptical person and don’t believe in anything without logical proof. And as soon as I asked these questions, that awareness started to leave. It was gradual, like the fog that rises from a valley after the rain.

I immediately forgot this event and didn’t remember it at all for almost five years. Then a couple of years ago a friend of mine created a channel on social media and invited me. This was about suicide and changes of consciousness. Suddenly I remembered that event. Gradually more and more details came to my memory.

Nowadays I always have a strange feeling after my afternoon naps. And in recent years, twice after I woke up, the concept of time felt different to me. Once I felt I was in a different kind of time, and as I was going back and forth, my awareness was taken to the end of my life. Something seemed to be trying to tell me, "You don’t have much time left, when are you going to take action?" But I never know what I am supposed to be doing.

The dates are not very clear in my memory. Like my experiences, time has been a vague and unclear thing in my mind and I cannot tell for sure that these dates are accurate. The time frame of the experience has been totally erased from my memory. I just use other events and the time we lived in this house to estimate when my experience happened.

I would like to further understand this experience and get enlightenment out of it. I would like to contribute to your research, but I don’t like the media and repeating my experience for different people again and again.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2011

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. While waking up from a afternoon nap Other While waking up from a afternoon nap

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I should admit that my consciousness was beyond what currently is.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My consciousness gradually expanded

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time completely stops. As I am writing this, I am about to cry. I have come to believe that we are always living in Eternity. Because I truly felt and understood what Eternity is, and how it feels, and how the cycle of time we perceive is just an illusion. Even now as I am writing this, I am writing in Eternity, but I have to admit that I tend to forget this in daily life.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was the same as normal. But my awareness [perception?] was beyond the eyes, something outside the normal physics and biology happened.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I think I did not have any hearing. It was like concepts were directly downloaded into my mind, without the need for hearing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light looked like normal light, it did not look like something metaphysical. It was just sunshine, but I could see [feel] its spirit and essence. Even now when I look at the sunshine, I know that what my vision sees is just a dead image formed in my eyes and brain, while in reality, this light is alive, but I am unable to perceive its truth. Like a creature that cannot perceive more than what her biology and brain system would allow.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Absolute awe, like someone who is stunned from amazement.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe What I felt was short-lived, but not minor or insignificant in any way. I realized and became aware of the entire universe at once, of where I am and why. In fact, answer to these questions are not ordinary. Can you use logic to explain why you love your child? Can you explain love [with logic or science]? Can you reason why you live and don’t commit suicide? There is an underlying awareness about these things [in our souls] that cannot be explained. In fact, awareness about myself manifested in this way, by understanding what is the purpose of universe and myself, but I only understood, without getting to know [what are my specific goals].

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I only felt the presence of the future, without knowing its details.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? No comment I didn’t have any religious beliefs. My worldview was and still is scientific and this experience is not explainable to me. But I am trying to believe in it, as it really happened.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? No comment Scientific and logical worldview

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was so different that I still cannot believe it. I was skeptical at first and thought maybe this is a dream. But it was real, and very vivid, more than any thing else I can think of. Long after, I found out that others have had similar experiences.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Yes I don’t accept or reject anything easily, but I know that the world is more than what logic and mind can comprehend.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Yes, everything existed at once. There was no before or after.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes, every thing is inner-connected and part of the same fabric.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Yes, as I explained before, I totally understood why I am here. I understood but I don’t know. It is not an understanding that can be explained.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Unknown No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Yes, I understood that the foundation of the universe is love, an infinite love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I realized that we are not little creatures living on this small planet. We are the children of stars and beyond, we are the children of eternal love.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It is absolutely difficult to describe. Words don’t do justice.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events a

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my husband and a few friends. They didn’t have any special reaction.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definately not real I had forgotten it for a long time. I don’t know why.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definately not real I don’t want to fool myself and tell for sure that it was real or not real, as fortunately or unfortunately I am a scientific thinking person. But I can tell for sure that it was not a dream. Its quality was absolutely different than a dream. Many unexpected realizations that my brain cannot digest at all.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Almost twice in the past two years I have felt traveling in time during my afternoon nap, going to the end of my life. I saw how short is my time window and there is almost no time left.