Sandi A NDE

Experience Description

My experience two days ago was the most terrifiying feeling I had ever encountered. I lay on the cold ground as the world went on around me. I could hear every sound, every footstep and every breath of my friends closest to me. I felt my heart beating like nothing before. I felt myself losing touch with reality. I couldn't move. All I wanted to do was to scream and yell, but I couldn't. I started to feel myself fade farther away but yet I knew exactly where I was lying. Although, I was there, I was a million miles away. My friends tell me that I blacked out, and was unresponsive. Yet, I can tell them exactly what they were talking about, where they were, and what they had in their hands at the time.

I saw everything, despite my eyes being closed. I tried to hold onto memories, but nothing was working as everything was fading. Then, something was with me. It terrified me. I saw darkness that felt so dark and evil. I was trying to scream but I couldn't. Everything I tried to hold onto faded while something was pushing me and telling me to move go with them. I felt such a horrible presence that it terrifies me even now as I think about it.

I woke up in an ambulence and was told my heart had stopped for 12 minutes. I was told that I had no pulse or brain moment. I feel like I have been shoved into a body that is no longer my own. I feel like nothing matters and I am having problems readjusting.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: June 14, 2019

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. Drug or medication overdose. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I had my first experience with ingesting a drug despite having had heart problems in the past. I was with friends and was testing my reaction with the littlest amount. My heart could not take it and was beating so Incredibly fast. I was having a heart attack. I couldn't move, but I knew what was going on.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I felt like I was floating and could see everything above me. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I could hear every sound. I felt more real feelings than what I feel and thought right now.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? while I was out of my body

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had my eyes closed. I saw and felt different feelings that I had never felt before. I saw this darkness. After this experience and the day after, I couldn't open my eyes. They were so sore. My throat felt like I had been screaming for days. My heart felt like it's not my own anymore and that something holds it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. increased hearing

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

What emotions did you feel during the experience? terrified, scared

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated. Not sure what I really believed up to the event

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age. I am not too sure how to process what I saw and experienced yet

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. It was a dark figure

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain didn't talk

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes i felt the presence

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Unknown Yes

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown I used to know who I was, where I was going, I had a great work ethic, and was successful. I am now feeling lost. I am still floating and I have having such a hard time adjusting. I feel like I am on borrowed time and at any moment I will be back to all those feelings and what I was seeing in my experience.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I feel so much love for my boyfriend, I feel safe only with him. Without him I am so scared. Even when I am with him, I am scared to close my eyes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember everything, it keeps looping in my head

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? the darkness

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes the worst of the night, I was with my boyfriend and he says I just kept saying that 'it isn't real.' I was so terrified I was gripping his shirt and skin holding on to him. He says that it looked like I was seeing something and I would look through him

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? no

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I am not sure