Sandra DP NDE

Experience Description

This is my best recollection of what I experienced at age 6 when I was drowning in a Wisconsin lake. I am now age 70, but what I experienced is still vivid in my mind. I was afraid to tell anyone about it for decades.

I was the oldest of 4 children and my mother was a young housewife. My father was also quite young; a US Navy veteran and a garage mechanic. He also fought forest fires in Northern Wisconsin. Just a few years earlier, he had tried to save a four-year-old girl. She had fallen into a half barrel of water across the road from my parents’ home. My father ran to the location at the time the little girl was discovered in the water. He tried lifesaving techniques he learned in the Navy, but the four-year-old was dead. This information can help give the reader an idea of how desperate my father was to find me in muddy murky water.

My father and mother took all four of us children, age 6 and younger, swimming in the lake one afternoon in the summer of 1959 or 1960. There were several older children running down the long pier and jumping into the water. I ran behind them and jumped in the lake behind the others. My father later said that he saw me run down the pier and jump into the water.

I remember that the water was kind of warm, very murky and too deep for me to stand in. I began sinking because I could not swim. I do remember that I was not afraid and did not fight or flail as I was sinking upside down to the bottom of the lake. I felt big bubbles coming out of my mouth and saw them rising up to the surface. My feelings were very calm and tranquil. After what I thought was a short time, I was above my body. I could see myself, upside-down with my legs bent at the knees. I distinctly remember seeing a one-piece orange swimsuit with yellow splotches on it. Now I would describe the splotches as an animal print.

I floated quickly along a tunnel that seemed to go upwards and toward a light. I was not a solidly-formed being at this point. At the end of the tunnel, everything was brilliantly lit. There was so much green vegetation and it was absolutely beautiful. To my right was a being or entity of extremely bright light. It was much larger than I. (Today I would call the being Jesus Christ.) At the time, the being was kind and loving, seemed to know me. I was very happy. The being directed attention down upon my face. I do not remember any vocal speaking, but was made to understand that I could not stay in that place. I was told that I had to go back. I do remember that I did not want to go back. I asked if he was sure had to go back and the answer was 'Yes'. I do not remember the process of going back into the lake. I did see myself still motionless upside down in the water. I also saw my father reaching and diving in the water to find me. He looked frantic. Suddenly, I saw his arms come down into the water, his hands were searching. I saw his hands find my ankles and grab onto them tightly. The moment he grabbed my ankles and began pulling upwards, I felt like I was sucked back into my body. It was miserable.

My next memory was lying flat on the grass with my face down and turned sideways. My father was pushing on my back and then pulling my bent arms up. Then he repeated the process. I remember a whole bunch of dirty, warm smelly water coming out of my mouth and sinking into the grass. The water tasted awful; like fish slime and worms. Later, I called it 'frog water.' During my father’s rescue efforts, I was not fully aware of my surroundings. But, I remember that I did not like him pushing on my back and then pulling my arms up. Horrible water was coming out of my mouth and then out of my nose. It hurt like when sinuses are really plugged up. I truly wished that I could have stayed up where I was, but I was told I had to go back. I believed that my father was not going to stop his rescue efforts. I also believe that when I did regain my senses, I cried quite a bit. I do not remember the rest of that time at the lake.

I thought that everything proceeded like a normal day at the lake. My mother was watching little kids in the grass. I don’t know what I did other than feel very tired and regretful. I do not remember my father being in sight after I revived. That does not mean that he left. I just don’t remember him. I do not remember being cold or wanting to go home. I do remember that I had lots of questions about what had happened. I did not tell anyone about what I had experienced. I was afraid to tell anyone. I wondered why I was sent back. I felt bad for my father who was so scared. I felt guilt for running and jumping into the water. I remember being shocked when I realized how deep the water was. The drowning process was not scary to me. It was in slow motion and seemed to my 6-year-old self as inevitable. I was letting it happen and watching myself from outside my body.

I thought about this event often for the next 40 some years and telling no one. Then in my 50s, when I was eating in a restaurant with my father and my adult daughter, I asked my father about what he saw and how he felt when I jumped in the lake and did not come back up. I finally told him and my daughter what I had experienced. I do not know if they believed my account. My father said that he continued to dive into the muddy water and search for me. He was terrified. Finally, he found my legs and pulled me out of the water by my ankles. I was lifeless.

Over all these years, I have been trying to fulfill the purpose I had in life. I was sent back from a blissful place for a purpose. Yet, I was not sure what that purpose was. I have been concerned that I might fail at completing my purpose. I believe my purpose in life is relevant and I believe it is for greater good. This feeling that I must be sure that I fulfill this task has been something that I have spent lots of time searching for, striving for, worrying about and truly wanting to fulfill in my time on earth. I was a serious, analytical child who masked some of those feelings by making jokes and using my wit. As an adult, I can tell hilarious stories and keep family and friends laughing. I have been an intelligent woman that succeeded at jobs that I have had. The jobs never seemed like the main focus of my being. I wanted to completely understand things. I always tried to consider the impact of my actions on others. I always wanted to know the big picture. Now at 70 years old, I am beginning to notice my physical and intellectual shortcomings. I am hoping that I walked a true path and helped others along the way. I do question myself as to whether I have had a positive impact and done what I was supposed to. That is about as honest as I believe I can describe my (NDE) experiences and my self-doubts.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 8/1959

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I was drowning in a murky lake.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my body underwater, upside down with bubbles coming out of my mouth. I saw my father diving and feeling under murky water in an attempt to find me. I saw his hand grab my ankles and pull me up out of the water. He verbally affirmed that decades later when I asked about it. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was only 6 years old, but it seemed that I could understand that there were things much greater and much more intelligent than I. I was able to absorb more meaning than a six year old normally would.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I believe that was when I came to the end of a tunnel and I was in brilliant light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. Things slowed down as I began to drown. I did not sense that things speeded up at all.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. This is tough to answer since I was so young. My world was playing outdoors and being in the presence of my smaller siblings. My world was small and probably self-centered. I do believe that in the experience, I could grasp that things were much bigger, more beautiful than I had imagined.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the experience, hearing was not there underwater. I do remember that there was communication without vocalization during my experience. Before that my hearing was good and it was concentrating on the excited voices and calls of children having fun.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was wide and seemed to be made of a dark colored material that might have been vines or plants. It went in an upward direction toward a light. I did not feel wind, suction, but I did float forward rather fast.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A super brilliant large sphere of light to the right of me. It was living.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I would not have known or called the place mystical. I was so young, but I believed the place was not on earth. It was light, large and so beautiful.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first I was very calm just watching myself. Then in the light I felt complete bliss, love, acceptance and that a being much greater than I was began to explain nonverbally that I had to go back to the lake. I kind of pleaded and bargained with it, but I needed to go back and complete my life on earth. I was kind of sad about that.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I wanted to stay and I asked to stay. I was told I had to go back, but not by spoken words.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I was a small child who had attended Sunday School, but any concept of a specific religion was not formed. My parents were Christian Protestants.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have a much more universal belief system. I am not one who believes that a specific religion is the ONLY one. Over the years I have begun to wonder about the true messages that Christianity offers. I do not want to believe these sayings like 'try to get a camel through the eye of a needle.' I experience I had was meeting an entity that did not have human form or gender. I felt unconditional love and acceptance. Therefore, all the exclusivity of religions and beliefs about gender roles are not something I want to accept hook line and sinker.

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I do not take everything in the Bible as literally true.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was only 6 years old. I did know that people could drown. I had learned in Sunday school about heaven and I knew bedtime prayers. So those ideas were made more firm. I did not know that one could feel terrible while their life was being saved.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I strongly believe in compassion, acceptance, honesty, trying hard to forgive and learning from all experiences.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. The being had no voice, but could communicate clearly. I believe I was too young to connect any of the experience with religion or with people I knew or heard of. So I recall no deceased or religious spirits as a young child.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was very little, but I got the idea that there was something much bigger and more important that my life at home. I believe that the bright light knew about me and loved me and knew there was something more I had to do in my life on earth. So I had to go back, but it was not a punishment.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes When I arrived at the opening of the tunnel, I was not a physical human being. I was met by an enormous sphere of brilliant light. The light was a living communicating entity full of love for me and much smarter than I.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes, I do. I have always felt that I was not completely on my own. Something knew about me and loved me.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I got the idea that I did have a purpose or something to accomplish yet on earth. I did not understand what it was. I spent lots of time trying to figure out what that purpose was.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes During drowning, I traveled through a tunnel to a place of gorgeous bright light that was very happy. It was not on earth.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes The experience affected the way I lived the many years since. There is something bigger and I need to contribute to it.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes In the brilliant lighted place, I felt complete joy. As a little child I already knew that I did not want to go back. So I must have thought that the new place was much better than my life on earth.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The being of light was complete unconditional all-knowing love and acceptance. So were all of the surroundings that I was able to see. The whole place was peace, love , joy and understanding.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I began to think a lot more about things and about how other people feel. I became kind of a serious and kind of sad person. I have had some very difficult experiences during my life. I do not believe I was sent back to experience terrible things. Maybe I was sent back to understand how other feel when terrible things happen to them and maybe I can help somehow.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I wanted to become as loving as the entity I had encountered. I was so young that I have very few relationships at the time.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I kept everything quite for so many years. I think most people would think my experience was just little girl imagination and it was all flowered up and romanticized. This was very real to me and very serious.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. This experience seemed much more detailed in my memory that other events that were occurring in my six year old life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I do have a special understanding of animals and they seem to like me and I really like them. In some cases I have understood ahead of time that something would turn out OK or that something would not be OK. I have some internal feeling that can be unsettling. I do not see the future or anything like that. In high school, I could close my eyes during an exam and I could see the textbook page and read the answer in my mind.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The experience of being outside my body and watching it was very significant to me. The encounter with a higher being has caused me to make certain choices about the direction of my life and choices.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It took decades to share my experience. I have shared it only with very close trusted family members or lifelong friends.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real after it happened and it kind of overwhelmed me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I experienced something so much bigger than my own little world. I still believe there is something so much bigger, kinder and joyous.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I cannot think of anything at this time.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I seemed to come out of my experience with a lifelong set of questions about whether I am actually accomplishing what I am supposed to or not. Maybe a collection of data about subsequent feelings of guilt or regret after the experience.

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