Sandra M NDE

Experience Description

I had a very difficult pregnancy with my fourth child. I was able to carry to term, but and had gone into labor very early. I had taken medicine to stop my contractions and was on bed rest most of the pregnancy. My son was 11 lbs. 12 oz. when he was born. The doctors had ordered extra blood to be in the operating room, and they thought they wouldn't need it. The blood had been sent back to the blood bank, and I was in the recovery room. My newborn son was in my arms and I had my phone taking pictures and texting everyone I could think of with pictures of my perfect child. The nurse came in and was asking how I felt among other questions. She looked away from the computer monitor where she was typing the evaluation into my chart.

While my earthly world went into chaos, I was actually in a state of bliss. The look on the nurses face was complete fear. I heard her scream ‘Oh my God, are you ok?’ I felt my arms go limp and my son rolled down my stomach and into my lap. I heard the nurse tell the other nurse in the room she needed help. The other nurse grabbed my son. I felt like I fell asleep.

In my dream there was a white room. White is the closest thing I can call it, but the room was beyond white. The room glowed as if it was its own light source. I saw a man in the room who smiled. He gave me a feeling of complete peace and calm. Even writing this 14 years later I find it hard to mention this peace without crying. His mouth didn't move but he told me I had to go back.

I was thrown back into the room with multiple doctors and nurses all around me. I heard everyone calling out different medications they were giving me, and doctors standing on stools next to the bed, pushing their fists into my stomach. To the right of me in a chair, was the nurse that had been in the room for my surgery. She had given me my anesthesia. Calmly she looked at me and said, ‘Stay with me, look at me.’ I fell back asleep.

Back in the same room as before, the same man pointed behind me, as if telling me to go back. I started to tell him that I wanted to stay, just as I was tossed back into the chaotic room.

This time the room was filled with people screaming about different medications and doses they were injecting me with. The doctor told someone to make sure an emergency hysterectomy kit was available. Someone at my feet said she was going to give me a shot in the foot and it might hurt. In my head I said, ‘I have a spinal, I can't feel anything from the waist down.’ The lady was still to my right, only this time she was leaning over me more and sort of in my face. She was very close to my face and said, ‘I told you to stay here, stay with me.’ I could smell onions and garlic on her breath.

I closed my eyes and I was back in the bright room with the man that kept telling me to go back. I was telling him that I belonged with him. I was at home; this is where I should be. I knew it. He then said that one day I would be with him, but not now. I had to go back.

Back again in the earthly room with everyone struggling to keep me alive, I was being rolled over to replace the pads under me. My blood was running off the bed, it was coming out of me so fast. I closed my eyes again.

Once more I was with this mysterious man who made me feel so comfortable. Complete peace was the only way to explain the feeling. It was a calm I had never felt before and one I have never experienced since. ‘No, go back.’ Was the only message I got this time.

I was back in my body and the doctors were walking out of the room. I heard the nurse gasp when I opened my eyes. The nurse had been removing the leads from my body. She looked at me and asked, ‘Are you still with us?’ I managed to say, 'Yes.'

I don't remember much until the next day. When I woke up again I felt a sharp pain in my left arm. I now had two IVs. One had clear fluid and the other one was filled with dark red blood. It was shivering because I was so cold. I looked over and saw a nurse sitting at a table with a lamp on (the only light in the room) doing paperwork. I made a noise and she came to the bed. I told her that it hurt; the cold in my arm was so cold it burned. She then realized that she forgot to put the tube for the blood through the warmer.

I was told I received 6 bags of blood between that day and the one before. I don't know much about medical terms, but the doctor said my hemoglobin was 8.2 the day after I got all the blood. When I went in my hemoglobin was 13.8. I was told this meant I lost more of my own blood than most people have in their body. Everyone said it was a miracle I was still alive.

My doctor who did the C-section came in my last day in the hospital and said she was happy to see me awake. She asked if I remembered her. I told her I did; I remembered the whole thing. She tried to tell me it was impossible to remember the whole thing since I didn't have enough blood in my brain to retain memory. I replied that the anesthesia nurse had garlic and onions for lunch. The doctor gave me a funny look and left the room. When she came back in she asked how I knew that particular nurse had spaghetti and garlic bread for lunch that day. I explained that I remembered everything, and no one could ever take from me the experience I had.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 5/21/2009

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Childbirth CPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I had a C-section and hemorrhaged.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness N/A

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I can't say there was one time that I felt more aware of than another.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The entire event could have been 20 seconds, or 5 hours. I'm not sure. No one went over that information with me, and honestly to me it didn't matter so I didn't ask.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When I was in the room I could see everything normally, but everything seemed to be so bright it was emitting it's own light. It didn't hurt to look around though like looking into a light bulb or into a light source does.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. While in the room I could hear everything clearly, but the man and I were not communicating by speaking verbally. I could hear him, but it was more like I could hear his thoughts. His mouth didn't move.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The entire room was extremely bright white.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The white room was defiantly not from this world. I have never been in a room where everything emitted it's own light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace and calm beyond anything I had ever felt before or since.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No The man I met mentioned that I had to go back to care for the children I had. He said that he had the children I had lost, and I would see them again. (I had 3 previous miscarriages.)

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I wanted to continue, the man told me I had to ‘go back’ it was not my time. I had more to do.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated I had been to church off and on through my life, but was not currently attending, or affiliated with any religion.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now attend and am involved in a church.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I am involved with and attend regularly a church. I believe religion is a lot more important to me now than when I went through the experience.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had read the bible, but I was not really sure what I believed at the time. The experience has solidified my beliefs.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am a Christian, and I will shout it from the rooftops.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The man in the room. Since the experience I have come to believe the man was Jesus. Since the experience I saw a painting a little girl did of what she saw when she had her experience. It was the same man. When I saw his face again I couldn't stop crying for hours.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus. Since the experience I saw a painting a little girl did of what she saw when she had her experience. It was the same man.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I do believe that this is the case. Even though it wasn't expressed directly to me it felt as though this would have been just on the other side of the room.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I believe the man I met was Jesus. I believe that a supreme being does exist because of this experience. Since this I do also believe that what you see does depend on what you believe. God or the supreme being comes to us how we will identify them.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have been able to handle people dying easier. I know that when people die they are not gone.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I was told I had more work to do. I wasn't told what I was here to accomplish other than ‘work’.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I was told that I would be back. I was also told that I would be reunited with my children that had died (the 3 miscarriages).

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain This experience made me feel more able to handle the difficulties I have had since this experience.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Since this experience I have solidified my beliefs and have been better able to deal with anxiety and stress in my daily life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I left my ex husband in part because of this experience. He wouldn't believe what I had seen, and made fun of me for it.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Remembering some things still makes me emotional. Trying to describe the room I was in with words is hard. Like I said it was white, but it was beyond white. I was aware that there was a way in, but couldn't see a door, or any way into or out of the room.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience N/A

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I wanted to stay. I before the experience had wanted to die, and now I wouldn't say I want to die, but I am not afraid of death anymore. I had suffered from depression before, and since the experience I wouldn't want to hurt myself. The peace and calm I felt were amazing, but I believe when it is my time I will go.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few days later I told my doctor. She didn't believe me, until she confirmed what the nurse had ate. she didn't seem to believe everything but I think that fact stumped her and she couldn't explain it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew what I had been through was important. I could feel it in my gut.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Just over a year after this my brother committed suicide. This experience helped me cope with his death. I have lost on average 1 person every 6 months since this. I believe this happened so I could cope with all the loss I was about to go though.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No