Sarah S NDE

Experience Description

I was put under general anesthesia at about 10:30 a.m. for a routine hysterectomy. The doctors told my husband and mom that I would be awake in recovery around 12 p.m. The anesthesiologist started the IV drip and everything went dark as I went unconscious. Suddenly, I was awake and watching chaos about 10 feet below me. It didn't bother me. I saw everyone in the room, almost in a panic as they rushed to my body while working on various things. But, the scene was blurry and didn't hold my interest.

I was more focused on the fact that I was moving up. Then, I was in a navy-colored, rough-surfaced tunnel. I kept looking at my feet because I wasn't walking. It took me a minute to realize that I was floating up a tunnel. I saw a light above me and on a slight incline. I relaxed and watched as the light got closer. About two feet from the end of the tunnel, I was standing again instead of floating.

Suddenly, I felt an intense feeling of love washed over me. There were no thoughts. There was nothing but love that I felt, saw, and that permeated everywhere. The best way to describe it is to say that love encompassed everything and every bit of me.

I looked just beyond the tunnel and saw two pairs of feet; one pair was small and the other pair of feet was big.

I looked up to see whose feet I was staring at. I was in awe. I saw my baby boy who died 14 years ago when he was 48 days old. He had the small feet and was maybe 6 years old, had blonde hair in a bowl -ut, bright and shining blue eyes, and had the biggest smile on his face. Holding his hand, was my grandpa, who passed 3 days after my 9th birthday. My grandpa was 66 when he passed, but he looked like he was maybe 30 years old in this experience.

My grandpa said, 'I've been waiting so long for you!' And he motioned for me to come forward. My son said, 'Mommy! Yes, mommy come on!'

As I moved towards them, I noticed another pair of feet to the right. They were dirty, large, and calloused. I looked up and saw a man who was dressed in a raw-edged, cream-colored, linen toga. He had tan skin, a sharp jaw and nose, a beard and moustache, and brown, wavy hair. He had dark, knowing and kind eyes. He looked sideways at me and half-smiled, but didn't say anything. I quickly figured out it was Jesus. Although the picture I had of him before all of this was the classic, blue-eyed pale-skinned man from typical pictures painted of Jesus. This man did not look like that, but I still knew it was Him. When I realized it was him, I didn't say anything. But somehow, he knew I had just realized it was him and he chuckled at me. My son and grandpa were wanting me to come to them, but Jesus telepathically told me, 'Not yet.'

I was sad. Jesus pressed the message to me in my mind, 'You are TRULY loved. You are SO loved.' This message kept repeating in in His voice in my head.

My son and grandpa turned to start walking away. Then I noticed the surroundings. The sidewalk, or street, or path looked like it was made of liquid gold, but it was solid gold because they were walking on it. I saw a tree in the distance that had unrecognizable fruit growing on it. The grass on the sides of the walk was SO GREEN: it was richer and a more vibrant green than any grass on earth. Farther in the distance, I could see a wall or a gate with bright light shining over and out from it.

I could hear my son say, 'When mommy comes back.....' and Jesus turned around and looked at me with a smile again. After that I quickly went down, back into my body.

I opened my eyes and tried to get up. A nurse sharply told me to lie still. She was taking a little black ultrasound machine and trying to figure something out. None of it made sense to me.

I wanted to sleep so badly, but the staff kept demanding that I stay with them. I heard the anesthesiologist apologizing and multiple people asked me if I had ever had kidney problems.

At one point I was informed that my husband had been down to the operating room several times and that he wanted them to tell me he was leaving for a short time to get my daughter from school. That meant it the time was around 2:00 p.m.

I saw my original doctor and two others checking machines while I watched them. I was genuinely puzzled. My doctor explained that she had done the procedure and everything had gone well, but just as she was stitching up the incisions they had created to perform the surgery, I had crashed. The doctor told me that my heart-rate dipped and they thought they were going to lose me. They had no explanation for why this happened.

I was taken out of the operating room and into a recovery room at 3:30 p.m. My family was allowed to visit me at 4:30 p.m. They were all in tears and I did not know why. Later I found out that that the doctors told my family that the next 24 hours were uncertain for me. They couldn't explain it, but I needed to be monitored closely so they would be aware if something else happened.

As various nurses came to check on me every 10 minutes or so, I was informed of more and more weird things that happened to me while in the operating room. My body temperature went down to 95 degrees while I was on the table. My blood pressure was so low that I should've been dead. The nurse said something about the bottom number of my BP being below 50. They were worried because my kidneys quit working. I felt half dead, and don't remember everything from this time. They kept giving me different medicines and were concerned about many things.

I told them that I was hungry and had to urinate. They told me I had a catheter so I shouldn't feel that way. They told they were concerned that the catheter catch was empty.

At 9:00 p.m. I was so uncomfortable that I demanded the nurse let me go to the bathroom. They weren't sure I could stand at that time, but I didn't care. I gingerly got up, and when I stood, the catched overflowed. It turned out that I had a malfunctioning catheter. It had slid almost completely out and was keeping all of my urine inside of my bladder. Immediately after I stood up, I felt so better.

I really truly believe the malfunctioning catheter sent my body into shock, and this was the reason I almost died, at least scientifically speaking. They even took the catheter to send it off for study. I was in the hospital for a day and a half and then I was normal, so they sent me home.

It took me a half of a night of being home before I started crying at 3:00 a.m. My husband asked me what was wrong. I told him nothing was wrong. In fact, I was so happy. I told him what I had experienced. In my two years in church as a teen, we had never discussed what people would look like in heaven. We hadn't t alked about Jesus' appearance being different than the classic depictions.

My husband pulled out a bible and found the descriptions of the streets of gold, the light, the gates, and even the trees with fruit. He read to me how humans would be given perfected bodies. And I told him about Jesus not looking the same as I thought. He told me a shroud was found and people had drawn pictures to try to re-create Jesus' face from it. A simple Google search and a few scrolls down and there was THE EXACT FACE that I had seen - the face of Jesus. I had no idea that a shroud had been found that was thought to be over Jesus's face when buried and my husband gave me quite an education that very early morning.

I told my husband that it had been impressed upon me that love is really the only thing that matters. We shouldn't hate anyone. God doesn't care about sexual preferences or whatever kind of sin we have done. He truly loves us no matter what. I told him how Jesus' words of 'You are SO loved,' spoke to my biggest fear that no one would ever truly love me. It was words spoken straight to my heart.

I have not shared my experience with many. But the few I have shared with are surprisingly moved and believe me. My husband wept too, and I had only seen him cry once in our 8 years together.

I'm so much better of a person from this experience.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 11/18/16

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related While under general anesthesia. Life threatening event, but not clinical death Under anesthesia during a routine hysterectomy, my heart rate went into the low 20's, body temperature went to 95 degrees, kidneys quit outputting urine and BP dropped to dangerously low levels.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw extra doctors come in the room in a rush. When I came to, there were three doctors there. The procedure was started with one doctor and had been scheduled for only one doctore. I saw all the nurses come to my body's side. When I woke up, I was able to confirm what I saw when separated from my body. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was overcome with love. It was ringing in my ears, consuming my thoughts and the only feeling I had. Every color and sound was bolder, richer and more vibrant.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I made it to the end of the tunnel

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Clearly this experience took 2-2.5 hours but it felt like ten minutes, if I were to guess. Time meant nothing in my experience.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Colors were almost alive on their own.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard with my mind and ears. The communication was outside me and also within me.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was like a dark, navy cement that had been poured years ago and starting to pit, but seemed to sparkle a little too.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my son and grandpa, both of which who had passed many years ago, but they were not in the same physical form as when they were at passing

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was a light at the end of the tunnel and also a much brighter light by the gates in the distance.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Please see my narrative above

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happy, special, love, relief, excitement, a weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I learned our one purpose is to love. I learned that Jesus truly loves us no matter what. I learned that much of what we do on earth is of no consequence and that our heart is the only thing that matters.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. God said 'not yet.'

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian Raised in an Episcopalian church from 13-15.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I know Jesus loves my imperfect self and the requirements that most people think make you a Christian (church, tithes, perfect behavior), are not important

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian Full of faith, do not attend church

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed we would be judged by our actions based on our intentions and that Heaven would be more than difficult to get into. I believed our jobs in Heaven would be to bow down and serve like minions.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believed we would be judged harshly when we died and now I understand our tries count. I believed death would be painful and brutal and now I don't feel there is really death, just a beautiful transition.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I saw Jesus.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I saw Jesus but not as I knew him from classic depictions. He spoke telepathically to me and did not look directly at me, but looked at me from the side of his eyes most of the time. He was happy and loving.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know what I was experiencing was so I would be a more firm believer and that this witnessing was not provided to all

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Love is the only thing that matters. We all have a time when we are called. Jesus will not let it be any sooner than planned. Our hearts are the important part. We are to help each other.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists It seemed that I would be joining my loved ones and Jesus in a perfected place where love lives and nothing else really matters.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Felt it, saw it, had it expressed that it is EVERYTHING. Jesus told me I am SO loved

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I try so hard to be understanding and kind and keep in mind we all walk our own paths

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feeling of love was not anything I've ever felt on earth. No emotion I've ever felt compared. It was more than words can describe. Jesus's words were more than words. They were impressed on who I am from that moment forward, but he didn't really speak.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I am a pretty good historian concerning events in my life, but when I think or talk about this experience, the feelings come back instantly and overwhelmingly and it is something I have never felt so sure about in my entire life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Jesus speaking directly at me about being loved made me realize I was too hard on myself. Confirmation that my son and grandpa were well after death comforted me. I walk now with an inexplicable confidence knowing none of this really matters.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 2 days before I told my husband, several months before I told my mother and over a year before I told anyone else. My husband and brother cried and expressed slight jealousy. My mother was moderately skeptical. My daughter thinks my brain developed the experience to comfort me in a time of trauma.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It took me about 6 hours to come off of the anesthesia fully and become completely aware enough to rethink about what had occurred. At that moment I was clearly aware it was real, but even upon regaining consciousness I knew something had happened to me. I know it because it was real, what I experienced was more real than daily life actions. The facts of the experience were confirmed 2 days later when i told my husband, thru bible descriptions i had never been aware of

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My feelings of the realness have never waivered

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No