Serena NDE

Experience Description 8772:

Unfortunately, as I was very young at the time, the memory of the near death experience is slowly fading. But I will try and recall it as clearly as possible.

All I remember is seeing a light. I could not see my body, although I could see like I normally see.

This light was extremely beautiful and heavenly. The light was extremely bright and yellow, but yet dim. It is weird and hard to describe, because it sounds like a controversy. I can describe it best if you can imagine an extremely bright light that does not hurt your eyes. It is not like they show it in the movies, it is more yellowish, bright and beautiful. It was a peaceful light, and a little bit foggy. Again, the adjectives I use seem opposites, but still, this is the best way I can describe the light. It looked very close to what the sky looks like here in Italy, early in the morning, during the summer.

This light was surrounding everything. It felt as if my visual area was very restricted. I could not see the start and the end of the light, I could only see right in front of me. In the centre of the light, there was my grandfather. I could not see all of him, just his face. His face was huge and it covered the entire image. It was like looking in front of you. Imagine that everything you see disappears and gets replaced by this beautiful light, and that, apart from the corners and a small frame around it. You can't really see with the corner of your eyes and the entire visual space is covered by a huge face. That is how I remember it.

My grandfather looked so happy. He was smiling very brightly, looking at me with tender and loving eyes, like somebody who truly loves me. I think the smile was open, in the sense that he was showing his teeth, so, it was a huge smile.

I don't think he has said anything at all to me. I just remember he smiled. That's it. I remember I was not scared. I just looked at him and felt at home, peaceful, and happy. This is weird, because I never felt at ease when my mother was not around. Yet, I was not scared to be somewhere else. Time did not really exist. It was still. Time did not go by, and it felt like just a small moment, but also like a long time, I suppose.

My grandfather died before my mother got married, so I have never met him in this world. I do not think I had ever seen a picture of him before this experience. I didn't understand what death was, or that my religion believes that, after death, souls keep existing. A 2-1/2 year old doesn't understand these concepts.

I do not recall anymore how he exactly looked like, but when I got older and I finally got to see a picture of him, I immediately recognized him. I saw him at about the age he was when he died, maybe a bit younger. He died in his fifties, and he looked like he was in his fifties or perhaps his fourties. So, I suppose he looked like he did at the time of death.

Also, I remember (and my mother confirmed it) that, as I woke up, I ran to my mother. She did not know of the accident yet, and I screamed in joy that I had seen her father. My mother was quite shocked, as you can imagine.

I and my entire family believe it was him who saved me, proved both by my near death experience, and by my father's feeling of being poked on the shoulder. If he hadn't turned, I would probably not be here now.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1997

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Drowning. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) As I was standing in the sea, in shallow waters, my father got distracted. In fact, my brother was younger and therefore my father thought of keeping an eye on him because my brother could not walk. I was already able to walk and swim. Apparently, I fell in the water, but my father did not realize this. While he was distracted, he felt somebody poking his shoulder very hard. He was poked so hard it hurt. It made him turn around. As he turned, he expected to see somebody. Instead, he saw me floating in the water, arms and legs spread open, my hair floating around me. My face was in the water. He pulled me up, my eyes were white. Luckily, he is a doctor, and thus reanimated me. Apparently, not only was I not breathing, but my heart had stopped beating, too. (I am not sure about the latter though, as I have heard this story a long time ago for the last time). As I woke up, I remember being unable to breathe, and I was coughing water out of my burning lungs. I do not remember anything prior to the accident. What I have written is what my father told me. But, I clearly remember my near death experience, as well as the physical sensations I felt when waking up. I know I was very young, but I suppose that such a traumatic event made it possible for me to always remember it. Plus, I replayed it in my mind often, for years and years.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal. I ticked the "less consciousness and alertness" column because it felt similar to how you feel in a dream, but I can't really say if it was more or less. I'd say less because I did not have the means we have in the world: I could not choose where to look. I don't remember thinking about anything in particular. I did not have a body, thus I could not walk. There was not a defined space, so there wasn't much to do anyway. I just stood there and looked, and felt at peace.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My experience consisted of just one 'picture'; thus I cannot really answer. I just remember being conscious, but yet as if I was not really completely aware of what was happening.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I can't really explain it properly. It just felt like time did not really exist. I often describe it as being in a dream, because that's the closest earthly thing I can relate it to. Time does not exist. It's not like it stopped or got slower or faster. There was just no perception of time to me. It felt like it lasted for one second, and maybe a long time. But it wasn't boring. I just existed, that was it.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was brighter. I do not know whether it was due to the fact that the light was not an earthly light. As I have explained, my visual field was more restricted than in real life. I could not look around. My body did not exist; thus it is not like I could turn my head. Everything that existed was right in front of my eyes, and I had no choice but to look at it. I am not sure I really perceived my body at all. Probably not. But I felt I existed.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I did not hear anything, not that I recall, at least.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It may be, but I do not recall it. As I said, I can only say what I definitely saw, but I cannot exclude I have not seen anything else. I was too young and thus my memory of the event is fading.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes It was my grandfather from my mom's side, who had passed away before I was even born. I think I knew he was dead, although I did not really know what being dead meant. Also, I don't think I knew how he looked like at the time of the experience.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was extremely bright, yet dim like the light in the early morning during the summer. Except it was more beautiful. It felt like it was also foggy at the same time, but in a good way. When I watch movies, it always makes me giggle because I think they try to recreate the light I saw. It looks so bad compared to what I have seen. In reality, it is more yellow-ish of a color and not bright white as usually people imagine it to be. It is very yellowish instead.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm This 'world' was only made of bright, yet dim, light. That was it. It was confined to a small 'space'. I had no way of going anywhere else. I think I was confined there because I was not actually dead. It was as if it was a place where you only get to stay temporarily, at least that's how I perceived it. It was like I did not belong there at that moment. I was only there to observe, and like it was very transitory.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt calm. I did not feel necessarily happy, just peaceful. I felt protected and at home. It felt nice.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I do not exactly remember being sent back, but I have the feeling my grandfather was blocking my way. Or maybe, he was just showing himself, I wouldn't know. I always thought he appeared to me to keep me company as I wasn't really alive, but that with his smile he wanted to make me feel at ease, and yet tell me to go back. I did not want to stay there, I just existed there. I did not think I was no longer alive, or that it was odd. I just experienced it. Probably because I was that young, I didn't really question the moment, or the experience, in that moment. I just 'lived' it.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Being only two and a half years old, of course I had little to no knowledge of (or at least, I did not fully understand) religion and death.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Again, I cannot say. Yes, what I believe in is partly due to my experience, but as I was very young, I cannot say they changed because of it. They just developed in that direction thanks to it, probably, too.

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I ticked the box that says that it was both consistent and not consistent because I was too young to have any belief at all. I just did not know anything at all about death, religion, or anything similar. Therefore, as you may imagine, I did not really have the means to judge the experience, nor to be influenced by my beliefs at the time. Nowadays, what I lived is quite consistent with what I believe in. In fact, my religion does talk about light, and life after death. Though, my religion also says you are not able to recognize anybody after death, apart from your godparents'. I recognized my grandpa instead. Also, my religion says we have no age and no body after death. Instead, my grandfather was clearly an adult, about the age he was when he died, and he had at least a face. I could not see the rest of his body, but he wasn't just a soul. He had a body of some sort then. I could not feel my body, though, nor did I have any control of my actions.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain Yes, the way I think of religion is partly due to the event, but since I did not have any realization at the time of what religion or death was, I can't really say it changed because of it. It just developed, also thanks to it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I do believe he exists due to my religion, now. Such a 'world' and light cannot be earthly. God must exist. But, during my experience, nothing actually suggested the presence of a supreme being, in my beliefs God.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists Yes Yes, of course. The fact that my grandfather was there, he looked like he did when he died is enough proof for me that there is life after death.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes My grandfather's eyes made me realize that souls keep loving after death. He was there for me. He looked at me like only somebody who deeply loves you can look at you. In an earthly way. His smile was very loving, too. I felt protected, and loved unconditionally by him, just like a father or mother love you.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Of course, I ticked 'unknown' many times, because I was too young to understand most of these concepts. This event definitely shaped me. It actually made me fear death greatly, because I experienced death at a very young age. Despite knowing that there is probably something after death, all I know is that after we die, we take care of the people we love. I do not know though how we would lead our 'life', nor if we 'exist' the entire time. Actually, this event (not the experience, just risking my life) has really shaped me. In fact, I have been afraid of death from that moment onwards, and I still am. I do believe, and there have been times in my life in which religion has had a big importance in my life. At the moment, it is slightly moderate. I do not think about religion the entire time. I am just an 'ordinary' person regarding religion. In any case, this experience helped me into believing that God exists, and that we will, somehow, keep existing, but I still love my life too much not to be scared of dying, even if we go to a nice place. I think my fear of death not only stems from the fact that I faced death at such a young age for an accident, but also because I just want to live my life fully. It probably has to do with my age, still.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is very hard to describe it, because it felt like the awareness, alertness, and time perception was just completely different than it is in real life. I would compare it to how we feel like when we dream. It is a bit distorted, at least in the way I perceived it. But, as I sad above, I do not really know how to better express it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I'd say as accurately because I remember waking up just as vividly. Of course, I do not remember much else that happened when I was about that age, because I was too young. Thus, compared to the memory upon waking up, it's more or less just as vivid. For the rest, I only recall one or two other events that happened in my first 3 years of life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I do not know if it is linked, again, I was too young. But I did have non-ordinary experiences afterwards. I will list some: I have had two very bad heartbreaks in my life. The first time, I kind of heard my uncle, who is now deceased, talk to me. Of course, it was like he was just talking in my head, but also like he was actually speaking to me. I answered, I asked him to stay a bit longer. He told me I'd be okay, then I asked him to stay a little longer, but he told me he had to go. It's like I could imagine him vividly in that moment, but I couldn't see him. The second time, I was laying on the floor crying my eyes out, many years later. I was alone. I felt somebody hugging me very tightly from behind, and I knew it was my grandfather again. I tried to hug his arms, but of course, I couldn't feel them. I felt like my uncle was in the room as well, watching from a distance. Also, I have seen some mystic things a couple of times, like I have literally seen a couple of animals bowing in front of the statue of the Holy Mary during the procession. It may sound crazy to someone else, but I saw it. Also, I asked for something to the Mary of Pilar in Spain once, in her Church. As I kissed the pillar, as people do, I smelled this super intense, flowery smell. it was the same smell that you can smell if you visit the Holy Tomb of Jesus in Jerusalem, and that streams out of the stone where He was laid down. What I asked later on happened.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? None that I can think of.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately. I described it to my mother as I woke up. I woke up on the seashore. My mother was under the parasol, unaware of what had just happened, as she was not looking towards the sea when it happened. I went to her and just told her I had seen her father. She asked me what I had seen, and so that is when I first talked about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I thought it was real. I was a young child, I did not know what was normal and what was not, what was earthly and what was 'divine', thus I just thought it was a normal experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Definitely real. I am not saying it because I lived it, or because I am 100% sure that what I remember is what I actually lived. In fact, I know that memories can change during life. But I know what my mother and my father heard me say when I woke up. I told them about everything I had seen, and they were old enough as to still remember it vividly. On top of that, my experience couldn't have been influenced by anything else, like my personal beliefs or what is told about the afterlife, as I was so young as not to know anything about death, let alone about these things. Therefore, I cannot have any doubt, my Experience was definitely real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain If you consider the episodes in which I clearly felt the presence of my grandfather and uncle (who, by the way, was alive and present when my accident happened), then yes. otherwise, I wouldn't say so.



Experience Description 8771:

This event I am going to explain here below happened to me twice, in two very different instances. In any case, in the questionnaire I referred mainly to the first I will describe, as I believe it is the best example among the two.

The first time I had this experience, I was in an abusive relationship. It happened to me like it unfortunately happens to many other women: I got stuck in a toxic relationship without me realizing, until it was too late. The abuses had been going on for months already, and I did not know how to put an end to the relationship. I wanted to, but I didn't do it at the time for two main reasons: firstly, I was extremely scared of his reactions were I to break up with him. Secondly, I felt like I had everything under control anyway. Probably my body was so filled up with adrenaline and cortisol that I could not think clearly anymore. I thought he was capable of killing me, but that I had the control to prevent it from happening.

One evening, he tried to choke me. I do not remember exactly why it happened, but it was for a very silly reason anyway (either I forgot to buy him something, or refused to do something he wanted me to).

I do not know how or why, but at a certain point he got completely mad and lost control. He started strangling me. I was laying in bed, when he put his hands around my neck and started strangling. He had the most evil eyes I have ever seen. I have never seen somebody looking more full of hatred than him. I often referred to it later on as 'seeing the devil in his eyes'. They almost looked red to me, that is how mad he looked. It seemed like he hated me with his whole body, mind and soul. Although he was not strangling hard enough yet, I knew in that moment he wanted to kill me.

He started strangling harder, but I could still speak. Conscious about his plan, I begged him to stop. 'Please, stop. You'll kill me!'. It was as if I hadn't spoken. He didn't seem to listen to me. His face was completely deformed by his anger and by the strain he was putting into strangling as hard as he could now. I soon realized I was dying. At first, I tried to take his hands off my neck. I was moving franticly, as I tried to release my body. It did not work, needless to say.

It is weird, because I do not remember feeling neither too much pain, nor having trouble breathing. It is strange, as I am sure it is nearly impossible that I was breathing, at a certain point. But after a few seconds of me trying to release myself, there came peace. I clearly remember thinking 'that's it. I am dying today. But I am fine with it. God, you can take me with you'.

I was calm and peaceful. I stopped struggling, although I think I kept my hands on his, as if still trying to release my neck. But, a few seconds after I decided I was going to let myself go, I clearly heard a voice, almost screaming, in my head. It very much sounded like my own inner voice, but I perceived it as coming from outside my conscience. The voice said: 'You can't let go! You can't die, because your family will be devastated!'. At the same time, I think I saw something that can referred to as a vision of future events.

I remember seeing in my mind my parents in the country where I was living, struggling to find me. I remember feeling the pain they were going to feel for they wouldn't have found my body easily. I remember feeling their pain realizing I was gone. And so I realized. That's true, if I let myself go now, my parents and brother will mourn me forever. They'll never forgive themselves for not having realized what hell I was into.

And so, I decided I was still going to fight for my life. Adrenaline returned to my body, and although I wasn't scared, I tried to think of a way to save myself.

I obviously couldn't. He was much taller, fatter, and stronger than me. I had no way out. The only thing I could do was praying. And so I screamed into my head, as I was obviously unable to speak at that point: 'Please, God, Holy Mary, HELP ME!'. In a microsecond, he let go of my neck. His eyes returned normal. His evilness was completely gone. His eyes just looked indifferent. He turned his back to me and walked outside the room. I immediately realized what an experience I had lived. This ultimately gave me the strength to go away.

The second episode happened about two years later.

I was biking home with my new boyfriend (a very loving one).

Like usual, we went past a bridge that was quite steep. We first had to bike on top of it, and then we always speeded up very fast downhill, taking advantage of the momentum and the gravity.

We were both very good at biking, so I have never fallen, nor lost control of my bike.

That day though, as I was going downhill, something very weird happened. I realized I was commanding my hands to shift the steer a bit to the right, but my hands didn't respond.

I was speeding faster and faster, as I realized I had no control over my body anymore, for some reason. At the same time, I saw I was approaching a pole.

This small pole was, just like many others, along the bank of a big canal. The canal was not surrounded by a fence, but just by these small poles, and it was situated some two-three meters below street level.

The moment seemed like an eternity, as I could think clearly for a long time, and everything else that I am going to describe also happened in just a few seconds.

I realized I was going to hurt myself really badly, if not die. I had just eaten a lot, it was winter, and freezing cold outside. If I didn't manage to steer my bike, my front wheel would have hit the pole, and I was going so fast that I would have definitely been pushed off my bike and I would have fallen right into the canal. If I didn't die from the fall, I would have died from the fact that I had a full stomach, and the water was freezing cold.

My entire life passed in front of my eyes in a few seconds. Like frames, while still seeing with my own eyes what I was living in the moment, the pole approaching, the canal behind, my entire life flashed in front of me in frames. I realized I had had a satisfactory life, without melancholy. I remembered of all the many, many amazing moments in my life, and I especially felt all at once all the love I had been giving out to people. Mostly, the image of my boyfriend appeared (although he was biking just in front of me), and I felt overwhelmed by the love I felt for him.

Despite this, just like it had happened two years prior, I felt ready to die. I thought 'okay, that's it, this is my moment. I can go'.

That's when, quite to my surprise, my hands worked on their own and, as my front wheel was literally 1 cm away from the pole, I steered right, and I was back on track.

It is important to note that I have always been very afraid of dying, and still am. That is why I am even more surprised by the fact that I wasn't scared at all when 'possible death' came.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Killing attempt Life threatening event, but not clinical death My then partner tried to kill me.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes In both cases, even when I had sort of 'visions', I saw what was happening. In any case, I did not see in places other than the one I was in, not in the present, at least. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I just felt like everything was completely under control. I felt like everything that was happening was not really something that mattered. Like my soul was fine, it was just my body being in distress. Also, I could not feel pain, nor struggle breathing, although I was still inside my body, clearly. It's like I lost the consciousness of my body. I probably just felt some pressure and warmth because of being touched on the neck, but that was it. I was extremely conscious and alert in my brain.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Moments before I thought I would die.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It was like everything was happening very fast, and like time didn't really matter. In the first episode, it felt more like time had stopped. In the second instance, my thoughts and the images in front of me were speeding so fast that everything else around me felt like it was happening in slow-motion. I even remember seeing the pole approaching in kind of slow-motion, or anyway like I could analyze everything extremely fast, thus it felt like slow-motion (because my thoughts were extremely speeded up).

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was exactly the same in the first episode, except that I felt just like an observer, and that I sort of 'saw' the future ahead of my parents and brother, if I died. In the second instance, at a certain point it's like timeframes of my life were scrolling in front of my eyes, a bit like holograms, and I could both see the real scene in front of me and these 'holograms' of my life.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember hearing anything at all. I was alone with my thoughts and experience both times. It's like sound disappeared.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes In the second episode, I saw my past life in time frames, like we all were holograms. I clearly remember seeing my boyfriend. I think he was the one I remember most clearly because he was the last frame.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I first felt scared, then I felt resignation and calmness. I'd even dare to say I felt peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I just realized that my life was complete and perfect. I did not think of missing out on the future, or about my past mistakes. I just thought about all the things that I had done, and that I had given out love and that I had lived a full life. That I was grateful for all that I had had, especially for loving and being loved. it is quite odd, since I have always felt like I am very much flawed, and like I need to experience so much from life.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I just remember lots of scenes from my past. I don't remember exactly what. I remember most were just unimportant moments. Also, I felt all the love I had been giving out to people, rather than the one I received.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I think I saw my parents crying their eyes out when this happened. I am not 100% sure about this, as this happened 5 years ago, but I think I saw scenes of my parents trying to find me and I felt their pain knowing I was gone.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life In the first episode, I realized I HAD TO go back to fighting for my life. it wasn't a border or anything, it was just that I could have let myself go, but decided to fight instead. Maybe it was a conscious decision, but it seemed like it was influenced by somebody above, or like by my guardian angel.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify In the first episode, I heard a voice inside my head, almost screaming that I had to fight for my life. The voice told me in a few seconds that if I didn't care about my earthly life anymore, I at least had to stay for the sake of my parents. It told me that if I had died, my parents would have been crying and in sorrow until they lived.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes In the first episode, I screamed out in my mind for God and the Holy Mary, perhaps also some other religious figure. As I asked them to help me, I was released immediately.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Yes, in the first episode, when I prayed and my prayer was answered.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No In the first instance, I felt like my

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I did realize that I had lived a full life, although I don't think it was (or is) nearly complete at the moment. But, in both instances, especially in the second, I felt like I was satisfied with what my life had been like.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Although I know I am flawed, and I have made mistakes, in both episodes I could perceive the love I have given and/or the love other people feel for me on Earth. I felt like I have given out more love than I actually think I did.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I became aware of the fact that, when facing death, we probably won't be as scared as we think we will be.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is always difficult to express something this harsh, and especially something that seems slightly 'impossible', rationally.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had some non-ordinary gifts, since I can remember. Thus I don't think I have acquired any gift afterwards, I just have them since I can remember (I had a real NDE at 2 and a half, which I have described in another questionnaire. I don't know if this is related. I will also share a very particular psychic event that occurred around the same time of the second episode I described here in another questionnaire, because it is very different from these two).

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Quite some time afterwards. Some people believed me, some don't.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have had a NDE when I was 2 and a half. I know since I can remember.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Completely real, because it felt just as real as normal life is, if not more.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real For the same reasons as explained above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes By virtue of having had two of these experiences, and many other 'unearthly' experiences in my life.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I also have to explain something similar and related to this event, which did not directly happen to me. A friend of my family had a dream the night of the chocking episode, when this was happening to me. She was in bed, and started crying without reason. She didn't know why, but she immediately thought about me without any reason whatsoever. She fell asleep. She dreamt of this room I was in, and a man that fitted the description of my then partner, whom she's never met. She actually didn't even know I had a partner at all. Months prior, she had already had a dream about me, and told me just to watch out. She said she felt there was somebody new in my life that pretended to be my 'friend' but was not. Anyway, in this dream she had that night, she saw me in this room. She saw him with a knife, a knife he has actually threatened me with (but in that instance, nothing happened at all that deserves to be told here). She later described me in perfect detail this pocket knife. She described the whole scene, him killing me. She then saw the scene of him getting rid of my body by digging a hole in his garden. Just like he had told me many times (he always told me how he'd kill me and bury me in his garden, and how he'd make sure nobody would ever find me. He always described what he would do in detail, and she told me those same details). Again, she didn't know anything at all about all this. She then dreamt of my parents mourning forever, travelling to where I was leaving unable to ever find my body, going in TV programs and endlessly trying to find my body and some justice. She told me a long time after it happened, and a couple of days afterwards she was told by my family I had just reported somebody for abuse. She was told only because she went to my place to ask if I was doing okay. My mother later told me she just ordinarily asked how I was doing, and my mom said I was doing fine. But then she insisted, and asked my mother if she was sure I was fine. My mother asked why she was this worried about me, and she described her dream. Then, my mother told her what had happened. Everything she described to me completely checked off. The exact position of the furniture, his description, where the window and door were in the room, where the room was located in the house, the material and colours of the pocket knife, and everything else really.