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Experience Description Stalked and Shot: A True Story of Survival and Change Click here to check it out 20/20 Perfect Vision: A New Way of Being Click here to check it out A man I had dated for a year and a half started stalking me after I broke off our relationship. The police were involved, but were unable to stop him. After 2 months of escalating stalking experiences, he came around the corner of my carport one evening after I'd driven home from a volleyball game. He was carrying a sawed-off shotgun. As I saw him out of the corner of my eye in my carport, he started chasing me around my car. Many times, he tried to aim at me over the top of my car. At which point, I I knew I was going to die, but I didn't want it to be from having my head blown off. So I kept running as fast as I could around the car while screaming for help. I was frantic, which is why I didn't notice that he'd stopped running and was waiting for me to run straight to him. When I saw what had happened, I turned and started running down my driveway. I didn't make it very far when I heard and felt the first blast. It had hit my left arm, completely shattering the bone and ripping away most of the muscle. My arm was still attached to my body by a bit of muscle and some skin. I fell down from the shock. I thought to myself, that this was it and closed my eyes. Then I found myself thinking about the life I had led, and I found that I had no regrets whatsoever. I also thought of my 5 children. I knew they were all wonderful human beings and that they would succeed in whatever they had come here to do, with or without me. I felt very much at peace except for one thing; I felt that I was too young to die, and that I still needed to do my art. Then I heard the second shot. The shooter had put the gun directly on my back and pulled the trigger. I knew it had hit me. But strangely enough, it was not painful. I saw and felt an amazing, golden, pulsating, and loving light surround me in a 10-foot diameter. It was, without a doubt, the most wonderful feeling I've ever felt in my life. The feeling is so much more as it is really indescribable with words. It was pure, unconditional love multiplied by 1000 or even more. It was incredible and had me completely in rapture. I could have stayed with that light forever. But then I heard this voice in my gut, that was repeating to me the words, 'Roll over and play dead or he's going to shoot you till you're dead.' Finally, I was able to pull my attention from the light to this voice. I did as it told me to do. I was able to roll onto my back and let my right arm flop out to my side at a 90 degree angle. I let out a groan as I let my head fall to the side, just as I'd seen on TV. And I dared not breathe. Then I heard another shot, but I didn't feel this one. What I felt instead was something landing on my outstretched arm. I opened my eyes for the first time, and I saw that he had shot himself and fallen onto my outstretched arm. He also letting out a groan, but he wasn't faking it. He died right there on my arm. When I saw that he was dead and I was alive, I simply 'knew' that I was going to be okay. I had no doubt about it, although the reality was that I was barely hanging on to life. He'd blown out my right lung with the second shot and I was losing blood and air very fast. Fortunately, my daughter had called 911. I could hear the sirens on their way. After 6 hours of surgery that night, I was put in the intensive care unit (ICU). I was given a 30% chance of making it and all my family was called to come say their good-byes. When I woke up in ICU, I wondered why everyone had come from so far away. I was still completely certain that I was going to be fine. No one really knew what had transpired that night, so when I was awake and stable enough, a policeman visited to ask me what had happened. He told me that the shooter had another shell in the gun ready to use, but obviously he had thought I was dead so didn't use it. That's when I realized that the voice giving me the instructions to roll over and play dead had saved my life. I was moved to another hospital where I underwent several surgeries to patch my arm up as best as was possible. After 6 weeks of being hospitalized, I returned home to begin the long road to recuperation. Just as I'd known I was going to be okay, I 'knew' I had to tell others about this experience, so I spent several years writing the book 'Stalked and Shot: A True Story of Survival and Change.' I've never stopped researching and searching for answers to the true reality that lies behind everything. That's how I came to find your website. Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: Nov 22, 1995 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Life threatening event, but not clinical death. The man who had been stalking me was trying to kill me. He had every intention of doing so. How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. While being chased around my car, I was aware of many different thoughts that seemed to happen all at once. I felt fear, panic, and an adrenaline rush, but also curiosity, as there was a part of me that was saying, 'So this is what it feels like to die.' My normal everyday consciousness is much more relaxed because thoughts are not stacked up one on top of the other like they were. At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm not sure how to answer this question? I was extremely alert while being chased around the car, thinking that I was about to die. I also wondered if he'd already been in the house and killed my children. I wished I'd been able to say good-bye to my kids. After the first shot, I sort of 'left' normal physical consciousness, but was much more immersed in what was going on within me, such as the life review, golden light, and voice. This is another level of consciousness I believe. There were two levels of consciousness for me, one before being shot and one for after being shot. Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. From my perspective, after the first shot it seemed to me that time didn't really exist. I had plenty of time for a life review, and spent a lot of time with the light. It took awhile for the voice to get my attention and for me to follow through with the instructions. If I had to put an actual 'time' to all this, I'd have to say it was at least 10-15 minutes, and maybe more. But in reality, he would have been very quick in trying to shoot me once more, and then killing himself. He had to feel that the police would be on their way, so not to take too long to complete the task. Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. This is an interesting question. My vision prior to the experience was what I'd call normal in that I'd open my eyes and my brain would process what I saw. During my experience I closed my eyes after the first shot, but I still could see very well. I had no trouble seeing myself leaning on the retaining wall, or the light that encircled me. My vision went from the outside to the inside. Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Again, my hearing before the experience was normal. I heard what went on outside of myself. But the voice I heard telling me to roll over and play dead was not heard outside, but in my gut, and this then registered in my brain. It was not me talking to me. Of that I am certain. Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No Did you see any beings in your experience? No Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Yes This light is not describable using words. However, I will say that it was golden and pulsating and encircled me on the driveway in a 10 foot diameter. It was of unconditional and nonjudgmental love. It was pure, joyful, loving light, and definitely not of our earthly physical dimension. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm While being surrounded by the light I was definitely in an unearthly realm. What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extreme fear to began when I realized what was happening, then I felt panic as I ran. I felt shock after the first shot, then peace and tranquility with the light. Then I had a sense of 'you got this' upon hearing the voice, then complete hatred for the shooter when he was lying on my outstretched arm, then a huge sense of relief when I knew I'd be okay and that it was now all over. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control. In my life review, I seemed to do a quick scan of my 'life.' It was not in any specific detail, but of the entire life together. There were no specific past events, but a general overview of the past events in my life. Did scenes from the future come to you? No Did you come to a border or point of no return? No God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know. I believed in nature. At the time of the incident, I was an extremely busy, single mother who did not spend much time on faith of anything. But in my youth, I was on the spiritual side. Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No. My spiritual practices were non-existent before the experience. Now I make time to read and discuss these subjects with others. I make sure I get into nature for regeneration. I work with my dreams. I listen for intuition and insights. What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age. After my incident I began a long search for answers into what happened to me, which lead me to become spiritual, so I guess 'New Age' would best describe my faith. Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Before my experience I'd always believed in reincarnation and that there was more to life. But I'd never experienced any concrete evidence of this, or spent much time wondering about it. So in that way, it was both consistent not consistent with my beliefs. Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes As a result of the experience, I now believe in there being a whole realm of existence beyond our physical realm. In fact, I have so many beliefs that have come about because of this experience, that I've written a book incorporating them. It's a story that weaves my beliefs of how I think the world works into it. It's called '20/20 Perfect Vision.' I believe we create our own reality, that we have helpers to help us, that we have inner and higher selves, that there is nothing more important than our personal relationship with everything we encounter - be it a stone or a person or a flower, that we have the ability to change the world for the better with every breath we take. And that there is a very important life to be lived after life is done here. Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. The voice I heard telling me to roll over and play dead, was not someone I could identify. It was heard in my gut and eventually my brain paid attention to it. It had to repeat itself three to four times to get my attention, as I was enraptured by the light, which I did not want to leave. But when the voice finally got my attention, I did as it asked. It was not a woman's voice, but a man's voice. There was no face to go with this voice, it was only a voice. Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes. The light was a specific awareness that I was connected to something larger than earthly life. During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion: During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists. The light was not of this earthly existence, so I knew there was more to life after death. Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The light was pure unconditional love. What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Because of the whole experience, I started a search to find answers to what the light was and where the voice came from, and why I didn't die. I was able to find answers and to develop strong spiritual beliefs again. I joined a group of like-minded people, which helped me start to discover who I really was, and what was really going on here. It's an ongoing process, but one which I love. And I keep meeting more and more like minded people. My life feels freer and more exciting than it ever has before, and I'm learning so much about my own ability to create the life I want, and how to give back. Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain. Parts of my experience was difficult to express; such as trying to describe the golden, pulsating, and loving light is not possible with words. But the rest of the experience was easy to describe, although words never seemed to capture the emotion I actually felt. How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. This experience seems to stick in my mind without ever changing. Neither does it lend itself to embellishment as the years go on. It simply was what it was - nothing more and nothing less. Other experiences do seem to change. This is something I was surprised at, as when I went back to re-write my book I was shocked at some of the things I'd forgotten. But, when I got to the shooting part, I remembered it exactly as it happened. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have noticed that I am much more intuitive. This is probably because I am now aware of the possibility of getting messages and help from outside the normal methods. I never used to dream (or so I thought) before my experience, but I now get great guidance and help from my dreams. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The most significant part was having help when I really needed it. Dying wasn't what I'd always thought it was going to be. This helps me to feel watched over and connected to a much greater force. That's a great gift. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The first time I shared it was with my boss, who was a neurologist. I believe it was a few years afterwards. I was nervous to tell him because he was not a believer in anything spiritual. He was a doctor, so I wanted to know what he thought they were. He told me that it was simply my brain doing weird things because it was in shock. Deep down, I knew that couldn't be right. But I did not feel like I could tell anyone else for a long time, unless they were open-minded and understanding. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. After the experience I spent every waking moment going over the entire experience in my head in great detail. I wondered what I could have done differently to change things. I spent more time on that, and how to get my body to function again, than thinking of the light and the voice. But as time went on, it was the light, the voice, and the out of body experience that became the most important to me. They still are to this day. What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. My experience was probably the most important thing that ever happened to me. It changed the direction of my life. I went from one of 'just trying to get by' to one of trying to understand and learn from life. I could then pass any knowledge I gained on to others; which I find very fulfilling. It has helped me to find Joy in almost everything. Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I see people differently, we are all one after all. I do not hold any grudges against the shooter as I know this was meant to happen and that he is learning as much as I am from this. In this manner, I try not to hold grudges against anyone else either.
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