Shawnise C NDE

Experience Description

I am a young mother of three who had 20 minutes of Near- Death and Out-of-body experience in 2019, at age 34. After giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, I had a tubal ligation which led to complications, hospitalization for over 52 days. My perforated bowel caused me to face many mental and physical challenges. The value of telling my unique story is a therapeutic way for me to connect, motivate and become a resource of hope to others who may be going through something similar. My story is not for me to keep, it's purposely destined to be shared with the world!

At age 16, 32 and 33 I've been resilient in bringing a new life into the world without delivery complications. My health never declined and like always I would bounce back to being active like jumping out of airplanes, climbing mountains, traveling and just living my best life with princesses. I had plans on returning to my dream job at the Arkansas Heart Hospital and continuing my studies earning my Bachelor of Science in Health Information Technology at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. However, this last time around, after giving birth, changed my life forever. My newborn was sent home to her next of kin for up to six months, my 16 years old at the time was left with caring for her younger 1 year old sibling and my family was at my bedside everyday as I was fighting for every breath of life.

Imagine with me the game 'hopscotch'. It's a traditional game designed to be fun, and it brings back good memories of jumping on squares of numbers after the next. Well with a snap of a finger, hopscotch is now your reality. Hopscotch was a game changer for my life. Each square represented a single problem, double problems, another double problem, by now you can imagine this concept. Along the way I was mentally and physically exhausted. However, I heard the pleading in my mother's prayers, the cry in my father's heart and saw the sadness in my sister's eyes for me to survive. I wasn't a person that would give up easily anyway. So, I endured test after test, surgery after surgery. My faith was tested like never before. But I kept going and now I can see God's promises for my life in my future! My surgical scars are not the prettiest in fact they are pretty ugly. However, they remind me every second just how close I came to being gone forever and for that I am grateful. My scars have shown me a new path that I am able to share with the world. I am grateful to God who sent me a team of Angels! My family, The Surgical Team, The Hospitalist, The Cardiologists, Heart Transplant Team, Pulmonary Team, Infectious disease, The Chaplin, GI Team, Nephrologist, My Home Health Nurse, My Counselor and my Psychiatrist.

The scheduled tubal ligation was done July 20, 2019. Immediately, after the tubal ligation the pain was so intense and uncontrolled. I became hypotensive (low blood pressure) and mildly hypoxic (irritable, poor eating) and had tachycardic (a fast heart rate). On July 22, 2019, two days after surgery, CT scan showed significant atelectasis (complete or partial collapsed lung). On 7/23/2019 the abdominal X-ray showed a large amount of fecal material in my right colon as well as colonic ileus (intestinal obstruction) along with intraperitoneal free air (indicating perforation). An NG tube was placed in my nostrils for feeding and for gastric decomposition, NG tube procedure was extremely painful, very uncomfortable and I declined the placement of another NG tube down the line. I made it to July 26, 2019, exactly six days after surgery with signs of life-threatening illnesses and infections. I kept complaining that I was hot, my family was getting worried because the room temp was extremely cold. I laid directly beside the air vent and still not cooling off. Deep inside I was burning up. A match was lit inside of me, and the heat was spreading like a wildfire suffocating my bones and my organs. Everyone was puzzled, except my sister. With her medical knowledge she recommended that the doctors look into signs of an infection.

Honestly, I wasn't going to make it to see dawn, I was on the verge of death. My momma was my advocate, my signs and symptoms were going to be followed up in the morning, but my mom was persistent, firm and strong with getting me help that night. The doctors ran a CT Abdomen and pelvis with contrast which showed increased fluid and air concerning perforation. General surgery was consulted, and I went into emergency exploratory surgery right away.

During the exploratory surgery once my abdomen was opened, the surgeon noticed a return of free air and a large amount of succus (juice), a little over 3.5 liters. She noticed that my bowels were pretty poor in shape with a fair amount of exudate (fluid). Further exploring my abdomen, she discovered a 0.5 cm bowel injury that happened during the tubal ligation on July 20, 2019. She also found several interloop abscesses. The surgeon was able to remove the abscesses and rinse out my intestine thoroughly checking for additional punctures. A wound VAC was placed in the incision due to high risks of infection and two drains were inserted. The left drain was placed in my pelvic behind my enlarged uterus and the right drain was placed within my small bowel. I was sent to PACU for treatment. Cultures revealed I had 3 life threatening infections (Klebsiella oxytoca, streptococcus anginosus and enterococcus hirae). Unfortunately, these infections were left untreated for days and had entered my bloodstream and began to attack my organs. I became septic, the smell and tastes from my bowel coming out my mouth were toxic.

On my 34th Birthday, August 16, 2019, still in ICU I was diagnosed with acute Hypoxic Respiratory Failure, Acute Renal Failure and Congestive Heart Failure with an EF of 10-15% blood pumping to my heart. I also developed Anemia and had a scary episode of epistaxis (nose bleeds). According to the nurse I bled quite a bit and received two blood transfusions on 8/29/2019 and 9/03/2019. My health continued to decline. Chest x-rays showed bilateral pulmonary infiltrates versus edema basically pneumonia in both of my lungs. Gosh, I just knew the pneumonia was going to take me out. I was on several antibiotics and remained on BIPAP for increased oxygen. I found the strength to walk little by little with assistance and I was constantly being repositioned by nurses on the hour to reverse the pneumonia as well as to take the pressure off my bed sores and back pain. 3 days later the pneumonia in both my lungs subsided.

One doctor reported that I seemed overmedicated. He was probably right, I was given anything to ease my pain and suffering such as morphine, oxycodone, Percocet just to name a few, these medications were a life saver especially when it was time to change out the wound VAC on my abdomen and dressing. I will never forget how my flesh smelt and the sight of being able to see deeply into my abdomen.

The moment that changed my life forever, On August 28, 2019, the day before discharge was a typical day. A nice visit from my sister, she stopped by to see me on her way home from work. My sister is a Hospice aid future LPN, and my mother is a hard-working housekeeper so I had the best services of both worlds with lots of love and support. My sister and I laughed, watched TV, sang praise and worship songs. I was overjoyed with excitement of going home tomorrow! She left me with 'see you later I Love You sis', I'll pick you up in the morning! I started to miss her company right away and I was back to being restless and staring at the clock. Ironically, it seems the more I stared at the clock the quicker time went by. Then, with utter surprise a team of doctors and nurses rushed into my room, like it was a state of an emergency. They were prompted STAT by the heart monitoring team to get to me fast. When they entered my room I was conscious, and the doctor asked me how I was feeling. Before I could respond my heart stopped and I went into a VT Cardiac Arrest.

My spirit instantaneously left my body, and I could feel myself leaving the weight of my physical body. Briefly, I was able to hear the cry for help, 'code blue' and was able to see the operations that were going on to save my life. I had no sense of pain, so I didn't feel the CPR that broke my ribs or the 5 electrical shocks to my heart. It was like I was in a deep peaceful sleep, almost like sleeping beauty. An awareness came to my mind...my body is there in reference to the hospital bed, but I am here in the knowledge that I was in a far separate place then my physical body. An awareness came to my mind and with complete shock and fear I said to myself 'oh no I just died...I didn’t mean to die'. Swiftly, a calmness came over me like a soft and gentle comfy blanket. I felt reassured that I was going to be ok. I felt like I just gained some superpowers, I was immortal floating towards a warm inviting being of light in a dark tunnel. I felt pure and light as a feather floating up effortlessly towards the light.

I couldn't take my eyes off the light; I was deeply engaged. The dark tunnel turned into rays of vibrant light, a blend of futuristic colors and the space around me and beyond me was endless...Then, I heard the most beautifully composed instruments of music and peaceful sounds, I was mesmerized. The closer I was being called by the light the deeper my rest felt. I felt special, connected, welcomed, home, loved and equaled. I felt smiled upon and forgiveness. I wasn't worried, stressed, hungry, thirsty or in pain.. there was no notion of time, I was on my way to meet God and I was comfortable. I was able to see and hear the flow of prayers briefly! It's like the prayers were an object and I was passing them by. It's also like receiving gifts and saying 'awe, all of this for me with a big smile' So I know for sure God hears prayers! I am not sure if I was aware of who was praying.

I just knew that each individual prayer belonged to me. The prayers were grand. I feel the more the merrier when it comes to someone praying for you. Someone close to me was pleading on my behalf before the face of GOD. I feel that it was the spirit of my grandfather who I adored and missed so much. Lastly, I eased into a garden, and it was one particular flower that intrigued me, it was like a burgundy to reddish Lily flower that stood out among all the other flowers in the valley. The stem of the flower was translucent, and you could see the flow of life and energy! This was my glimpse into paradise. This experience was higher than my mind could phantom, so what happened after this is a blur. I am not sure if I had a choice to stay or return. I believe the stubborn part of me wanted to stay but the other side of me wanted to return to my babies and my family. I was unable to turn around on my own. It felt like time travel backwards when I was transported back into my physical body if that makes sense. Almost liked being sucked through a portal. Now sometimes I feel a stranger to this body and my spirit is disconnected from my physical body. I believe the day of the Cardiac arrest the old Shawnise died.

During all of this craziness while being revived, according to my sister she got the stress call to return to the hospital. She was just approaching home; she didn’t know what to expect but whatever was going on it sounded bad, so she hurried back to the hospital.

My sister rushed into my room and asked the doctor 'what was going on?' They assumed based on my sister's uniform she was an employee coming to assist in the code blue. The doctor yelled 'what do you mean what's going on...she coded'. According to my sister, she then noticed my lifeless eyes popped out of my eye socket. She also noticed the equipment and everyone surrounding my lifeless body, so within shock she fainted. The doctor realized that was my sister, helped her on her feet and rushed her out of the room while they were working tirelessly for 20 mins to revive me. My parents were notified, and everyone remained in a private room close by until I was stabilized.

I wasn't aware that I was in an induced coma to take the pressure off my brain and heart. I was intubated for five days and was able to be weaned off the ventilator...my improvement was very slow but miraculously I wasn't a vegetable. At the time they were unsure how much damage was done to my brain since I was without oxygen for a while. I don't remember waking up, but I was told that I was in disbelief that I had died and that my heart stopped beating for 20 mins. Unfortunately, certain timeframes are still vague. I was told that I was given medication to wipe out the memory of the trauma. God allowed me to keep certain memories of the Near-Death Experience, to cherish them in my heart and share them with the world. On Sept. 11, 2019, I was finally discharged to go home safely with EF 25-30% blood pumping to my heart. I was on over 20 pills daily, I wore a life vest, had an IV Milrinone in my arm for cardiac support, a picc line still inserted in my chest as well as the wound VAC still in place. I was readmitted at a different hospital with concerns of CVA (stroke) from Sept. 14-17. 2019 for acutely worsening aphasia (stuttering) basically stroke like symptoms. The MRI showed volume loss in the brain, I also had a swallowing test and at the time I was only able to eat only puree foods. After I was discharged from there, I tested positive for E Coli. December 4, 2019, I had to go in for S-ICD placement also known as a defibrillator. In 2019 I saw the operation room more than 6 times (Tubal Ligation, Exploratory Laparotomy to Repair small bowel injury, drainage of intraabdominal abscess and drainage placement x 2, wound Vac placement to incision. Abscessogram x 4, EGD, picc line placement had undergone multiple drain placements in my pelvis, and ICD).

It wasn't until a year later that I had remembrance of my out -of- body experience and near-death experience. I didn't even know that the term near-death experience even existed. Fast forward until now, I was diagnosed with PTSD which triggered those reoccurrence memories and feelings. I am terrified of hospitals, needles and operating rooms. I overcame stroke-like symptoms due to subsequent brain injury, drooling of the mouth, tremors of upper and lower extremities while conscious. Overcame slurred speech, difficulty swallowing and walking. My bowels began to respond to treatment and slowly began to function normally. But, I suffered loss of memory, I had loss of independence, I felt depressed, loss of pleasure, felt powerlessness, anxiety, fear of going to sleep, hair loss due to meds. I have my up days and I have my down days. With all of this going on I graduated from Cardiac Rehab 2020 from The Heart Hospital where I previously worked and changed my daily diet. This gave me a sense of accomplishment. My recovery is followed by a Heart Transplant Specialist. Life is just a series of moments, and the spirit is just passing through. Our spirit doesn't belong here, it belongs with God. I get that more now than before. So now I stopped holding on to temporary things, everything has its season. Most days I feel inspired by my Near-Death and Out-of-body experience. It's very hard to adjust, once you get to know or meet your inner spirit outside your physical body. It's been 2 years and I am still trying to process it. CHF doesn't define me even though I take a lot of daily pills. I want to spend each moment with my children and inspire others. LOVE is the KEY to Eternity!

YouTube Link to story https://youtu.be/XD332Oqi49M

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 8/26/19

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Surgery-relatedHeart attack CPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Cardiac Arrest

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I just saw briefly what was going on during CPR / Cardiac Arrest the fight to save my life even the 5 shocks received. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I sometimes feel disconnected to my physical body. My spiritual out of body experience was so grand that nothing here on earth compares. Unexplained things and feeling has been happening and I feel a strong presence close to me. I daydream more now then ever but very alert, and my hearing has gotten stronger.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Earthly time within the first 3-5 mins. My experience lasted 20 minutes however due to recovery and brain injury I didn't recall my experience until a year later.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning In the beginning time was extremely fast then it lost all meaning and felt like eternity

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I am legally blind so during the experience my sight was beyond 20/20. I could see the flow of energy and life, I see mixtures of colors not even created on earth. I could see far and wide! Now near sightedness is still a challenge so I have everyday vision assistance. However, I can see love more clearly

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was the same during the experience. But now my hearing is sensitive and I can hear the smallest of noise.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Beginning was fear and darkness then quickly I went into different phrases such as vibrate galaxy of lights, the hearing of instrumental music, then a garden

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Very futuristic mixtures of colors

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Valley of flowers

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Loved, home, peace, no worries, no sense of time, no pain, no hunger, no thirst, satisfying, joy

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others The connection and understanding of LOVE and sacrifices

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I am sure I did was more like watch a movie on a huge wide screen without height or width. I don't recall all that was shown about my pass.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Creation of God, voice felt familiar whole in the rim. I will know it if I hear it again

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Felt the presence of Jesus and saw his light. Don't remember others

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Certainly a oneness

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I saw and felt the paradise of God.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I feel like I do but I can't unlock it

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes The power of Love, knowledge and understanding

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Certainly life after death

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The power of Love, knowledge and understanding how it all connects to God

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Stronger friendships

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Everything was described to the best of my ability but in some of the experience you would just have to be there. There's no words to compare.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience less accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Non ordinary noise and feel of a strong presence. Blinking of lights

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 2 years

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None at this time